I never got married until I was 30, Eric.
I married the woman of my dreams. Problem was, she wasn't anything like the dream. Must have got her mixed up with someone else.
I stuck the marriage out for three years after I knew it was over. Went through all the counseling, jumped through all the hoops, she just couldn't change. I wouldn't have even asked her to change, but I just couldn't deal with the cheating, and she wasn't very good at hiding it.
It's been about five years since I've been divorced. I'm in no hurry to get married, and I've become very patient. I'm really starting to like having my dishcloth hanging the way I want it and doing what I want when I want how I want.
My daughter has lived with me almost full time for the last year and it's almost time to iron that out on the legal end. The ex still has my dog, but I quit fighting her about that a long time ago.
I've fallen head over heels in love with a woman I've known since we were kids, and she's absolutely incredible. We're just going easy and enjoying our time together, and we see eye to eye on everything. We share all sorts of simple pleasures together, and she even loves cigars.
She's truly a gift, and I do everything I can to make sure she knows it every day.
I'm a lot better at being wrong all the time, nowadays, too. Someone told me along the way, "Would you rather be right or happy?"
It sure makes things go a whole lot smoother. The best part is that it seldom even comes into play. Lisa knows how important it is to me that we're happy, and she appreciates how much I appreciate her, and she doesn't take advantage of me being willing to be wrong.
I could go on forever, but I'll shut up. I just wanted to say how awesome it is when it's good. I couldn't possibly be happier.
Gotta throw a joke in, too. It's one of my favorites.
Do you know why divorce is so expensive?
Cause it's worth it.
And then there's the new Divorced Barbie. She comes with all Ken's sh!t.
