Kegan,
Life and experience and hardship and pain has done just the absolute opposite to me, and many, if not all, of these brothers who stand before you offering their advice and friendship.
All the pain has taught me that the only thing that matters is God, Love, happiness, family, and gratitude.
Learning lessons from bad things are gifts. It keeps my fingers out of the fire.
Learning what matters from those things makes me appreciate every single breath I draw, and I consider each one precious.
That's not "hard-hearted" or "callous" by any definition.
The "thick skin" comes from the "how much does it matter?"
I can't be angry and happy at the same time. Doesn't work that way. I'm not willing to give up one second of happy to be angry, because it's senseless.
Despite that, my stupidity sometimes gets ahold of me and I get pissed off. It doesn't last long. The older I get, the shorter the pissed off gets.
Despite the fact that all these gentlemen know how precious every moment is, they're spending it for you.
That's Love. There's lots here.
I've found that it's a lot easier nowadays to ask before I act. When I ask, I don't ask someone who hasn't been "down that road". You don't go to a banker for a haircut, ya know?
I ask old boys who have done really dumb sh1t (if I haven't already beat them to it), and then do the opposite, just like they've instructed me.
Works like a charm.
It also allows me to quit thinking, because when I do, it always turns out the same.
Just the opposite of the way I want it to.
Hope this helps!!!
Scott
PS
You might want to listen to Tom and Todd and Hugh, among others.
I sure would.