[mash]

I'm a mental health physician, so if you don't mind I'm going to respond.
First of all, I'm sorry for what you're going through. Feeling irritable and out of control is miserable. I hope things get better.
It sounds like to me like you need a psychiatrist/psychologist to see you and try to help. You need someone who is versed in psychopharmacology to sort out your meds, not sure if a psychologist is going to fit that bill.
My one question is in regards to your statement "I fully blame my pills for my actions". I'm assuming there was a reason that these medications were started, to think that everything you do is now attributable to your meds is almost certainly wrong. Yes, people can have mood changes/swings while on antidpressants or other medications, just like people with diabetes can have excessive thirst on Insulin. Doesn't mean the treatment is the reason.
Good luck with your situation.