1. I don't have to dedicate so much of my time to a pipe each time I smoke one
2. its alot harder to smoke a pipe the wrong way round lol
3. When you smoke a pipe your IQ raises by 10 points
4. I can smoke a pipe hands-free without smoke getting in my eyes
5.I can be pretentious
6. I don't have to spend a paycheck to get 25 smokes
7. my wife doesn't avoid me when I smoke a pipe

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