Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueface
Also remember, as defined by our former President Bill, their interpretation of sex may not be the same as yours.
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Too true. I teach middle school and have learned that many teens who insist they are "abstinent" do not consider oral sex to be contradictory to that.
I agree that not even kissing before marriage is waaaay extreme. I have many friends who are not married and engage in that and more. The not kissing for us was not based on a moral aversion to kissing. Lacking self-discipline myself, it was where we decided we needed to draw the line to achieve our real goal of no sex before marriage.
I find it interesting that the topic of religion has not been brought up in this interesting discussion.
It really matters WHY you think abstinence is important and do your children also ascribe to that belief.
For instance, I believe it is taught in the bible and right for living a christian life (you may disagree or not). If my children are ascribing to christian values and desire to live a godly life as I believe it to be defined in the bible, then their view of sex before marriage doesn't matter; I should be encouraging them to remain abstinent as a function of their belief.
To me, this goes beyond the "sex before marriage is bad" idea. If my teens do not believe as I do, then there is no motivation for them to remain abstinent. This argument particularly applies to things such as sex and drugs, both of which have a lot of pleasure associated with them and which are automatically reinforcing behaviors.
Bottom line, if you don't believe what I believe, there is no reason or need for us to agree (though we may agree). Same is true for our children.