[retired]

This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my right and there was a woman in a brand new VW Golf doing 90mph with her face up next to her rear-view mirror putting on her eyeliner!
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back, she was halfway over in my lane, still working on her makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily..
But she scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the sausage roll out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten my car using my knees against the steering wheel; it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, which splashed and burned "Big Jim and the Twins", ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an Important call...
Frigging Women Drivers!!..