[Steve]

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step he's too old to go anywhere.

Old age is when you have stopped growing at both ends and have begun to grow in the middle.

Old age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

A man has reached old age when he is cautioned to slow down by his Doctor instead of by the police.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

Old age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

Time for my nap.