What's frightening is that I resemble this!
An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asks.
She answers back, "Because I'm dead."
The husband says to her, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."
The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."
Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
His wife answers, "I know I'm dead because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts!"
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...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied,
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide
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