Now THAT made me laugh out loud!
Good one, Icehog.
Back on track, though, I've come up with an efficient way of
chilling martinis without getting into the whole "stirred vs. shaken"
controversy (

- Stir it, don't shake it).
I've filled a 1.75 liter bottle with my pre-mix of martini
(3 oz gin to 1 oz dry vermouth, 2 drops bitters per serving, multiply
by 14), and keep it in the freezer. Then, when a guest or I want a
martini, I just take the bottle from the freezer, shake & pour. Ta-da!