Some Drunken Retorts
 

Jovial
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "****in' A. Great, innit?"

Realistic
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "And yet I still wouldn't sleep with you. Why is that?"


Philosophical
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "Well, when you look at the state of the world, what other
response is there?"

Historical
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "So was Ulysses S. Grant at Gettysburg, Johnny Reb!"

Geeky
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "I'm building up my tolerance for the Klingon ritual of Qa' Pla."

Logical
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "We are in a bar and have been for some time. So what exactly is your point?"


Financial
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "So would you be if you weren't such a tightwad.
Come on, get the ****ing round in."


Diversionary
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "My martial arts instructor has shown me how to kill a man with just my thumb."


Egotistical
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "Well, the bartender obviously likes me better than you."

Boastful
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "That fifth of Beam I had before meeting you must finally be kicking in."

Flirtatious
A: "You're drunk!"
B: "Yep. Who knows, after a few more shots even you might start to look good."