Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum - Parody regarding Flatulence

I like to play the guitar upon occasion, although not much recently. I also like to write words to different songs that will allow me to have fun. In a recent discussion on this board, I was reminded of a friend who has a nickname that goes well with his problem of flatulence. His nickname is the flatch man, sort for the flatulent man. Anyway, these verses were written at his expense - although I believe that most people know of someone (maybe themselves) to whom they might apply.

The Flat(ulent)ch Man
by, Todd Jerabek

(to the tune of the Beatles song, "The Tax Man")

As food works in digestive tract,
He cannot help but produce gas.
...cause... CHORUS: ... he's the flatch man,
Oh, oh, he's the flatch man..

Give him baked beans he'll eat them all,
And later still he'll clear the hall.
...cause... CHORUS

German sausage mit sauerkraut,
Will surely make his buttocks shout.
...cause... CHORUS

A crowded room he'll violate,
When gaseous fumes from him escape.
...cause... CHORUS

When forced too hard to flatulate,
A greasy stain will permeate,
… cause… CHORUS

When gas mixes with open flame,
Burning pants seams will water tame,
…cause… CHORUS

When gas he tries to slowly leak,
His nickname now is thunder cheeks,
…cause… CHORUS

Courteousness and common sense,
Would be to leave till gas is spent,
...not for the flatch man,
..oh, oh, he's the (retard tempo) flatch man...