An oldie from Mark Twain
 

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained
would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Re: An oldie from Mark Twain
 

:D:D:D

As a writer, I love this one from Twain.

Re: An oldie from Mark Twain
 

:r :r

Re: An oldie from Mark Twain
 

I seem to remember a version of this that gradually converted English pronunciation into a strong German accent, ending with the ominous words "Ze drem vil finaly kom tru!".

Re: An oldie from Mark Twain
 

English won out over German as the official language by one vote.

Mark Twain was a great humorist. Read "Roughing It" if you haven't.