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-   -   Speeding (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=65090)

Ogre 01-18-2014 08:25 PM

Speeding
 
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed under a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
... The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just exactly does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket $200.00
Court Costs $100.00
Look on the Cop's Face......Priceless...:P

Porch Dweller 01-18-2014 08:31 PM

Re: Speeding
 
:r :r :r

big_jaygee 01-18-2014 08:32 PM

Re: Speeding
 
:lr :lr :lr

thats great Larry :tu

CigarNut 01-18-2014 09:52 PM

Re: Speeding
 
:r :r

MrClean 01-18-2014 09:55 PM

Re: Speeding
 
:lr :lr

Good one Larry! :D

icehog3 01-18-2014 11:15 PM

Re: Speeding
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ogre (Post 1925049)
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.

And if he was 4 inches taller and scored 2 points lower on the Public Service exam, he could have been a fireman. :D

pnoon 01-18-2014 11:31 PM

Re: Speeding
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 1925084)
And if he was 4 inches taller and scored 2 points lower on the Public Service exam, he could have been a fireman. :D

Bazinga!
:)

kelmac07 01-19-2014 07:42 AM

Re: Speeding
 
:r :r

longknocker 01-19-2014 08:52 AM

Re: Speeding
 
:tu

Ogre 01-19-2014 10:23 AM

Re: Speeding
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 1925084)
And if he was 4 inches taller and scored 2 points lower on the Public Service exam, he could have been a fireman. :D

Jokes like this are not made about firemen. That's because people actually LIKE us.:noon

Subvet642 01-19-2014 10:28 AM

Re: Speeding
 
Yeah, that's what you wanna be; some pissed-off cop's personal project. :tu

cmitch 01-19-2014 11:46 AM

Re: Speeding
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ogre (Post 1925147)
Jokes like this are not made about firemen. That's because people actually LIKE us.:noon

Da dump, shing!:r

icehog3 01-19-2014 01:30 PM

Re: Speeding
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ogre (Post 1925147)
Jokes like this are not made about firemen. That's because trees actually LIKE us.:noon

Fixed it, ya big lug. :D

Remo 01-19-2014 02:13 PM

Re: Speeding
 
Funny joke Larry....at least you Firemen have heroes :tu


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