Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum

Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/index.php)
-   Jokes (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/forumdisplay.php?f=59)
-   -   Bumper Stickers (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=34233)

Ogre 07-21-2010 10:46 AM

Bumper Stickers
 
If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"
Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.
If that phone was up your ass, maybe you could drive better!
Don't be sexist, broads hate that.
Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!
Constipated people don't give a ****.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
My kid got your honour roll student pregnant.
To all you virgins... Thanks for nothing.
If you can read this... I lost my trailer.
Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me.
I have the body of a God.... Buddha.
So manny pedestrians...so little time.
Eat right, exercise, die anyway!
Illiterate...Write for help.
Cover me... I'm changing lanes.
Boldly going nowhere.
Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you are doing it wrong.
Honk if anything falls off.
If we quit voting, will they all go away.
Heart attacks... God's revenge for eating his animal friends.

bvilchez 07-21-2010 10:50 AM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
My kid got your honour roll student pregnant.
To all you virgins... Thanks for nothing.

Thanks for the morning laugh:tu

Steve 07-21-2010 11:24 AM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
:r

kaisersozei 07-21-2010 11:35 AM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
This

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ogre3239 (Post 923210)
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

and this

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ogre3239 (Post 923210)
Cover me... I'm changing lanes.

:r:r:r

kydsid 07-21-2010 12:58 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
Jesus saves........passes to Gretzky, Gretzky scores!

kelmac07 07-21-2010 04:01 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
:r :r :r

The Poet 07-21-2010 04:08 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
Old plumbers never die . . . they just smell that way.

hotreds 07-21-2010 04:09 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
Caution when passing- driver flicking buggers

Partagaspete 07-22-2010 06:03 AM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
"don't be sexist...broads hate that." LMAO.

Also,

it is actually on the back of a T-shirt of a biker. not a bumper sticker but I felt it would fit:

If you can read this the b**ch fell off.

TripleF 07-22-2010 06:13 AM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
good stufff Larry!! :tu

jledou 07-22-2010 06:29 AM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
"Politicians are like dirty diapers ... they both stink and need to be changed often"

Yeah all of that on a normal bumper sticker ...

fhrblig 07-22-2010 07:02 AM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
God was my co-pilot, but then we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.

TheStatsGuy 07-22-2010 01:48 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they usually stink.

Are you having phone sex or do you laways drive that way?

Breast inspection 20 feet ahead (please have 'em out).

Steve 07-22-2010 02:06 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TheStatsGuy (Post 924702)
Are you having phone sex or do you always drive that way?

Bahahaha...

I hadn't thought about it, but that makes a lot of sense the way some of these losers drive in traffic with their phone attached to their ears!

markem 07-22-2010 02:27 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
If at first you don't succeed
Skydiving might not be your sport

KenyanSandBoa 07-26-2010 02:06 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
The fastest way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.
Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young
I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want
(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A day without sunshine is like, night

Steve 07-26-2010 02:16 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by KenyanSandBoa (Post 929271)
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
The fastest way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!
Buckle up... it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car
There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead.
Learn from your parent’s mistakes use birth control
Friends help you move; real friends help you move the body.
Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young
I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want
(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough.
100,000 Sperm And You Were The Fastest?
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A day without sunshine is like, night

This is great, but could result in getting your A$$ Kicked :r:r:r

jmsremax 07-26-2010 03:00 PM

Re: Bumper Stickers
 
If I wanted to listen to an @$$hole, I'd fart


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:07 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.