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-   -   Tom's Scrotum.... (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=74582)

BigAsh 11-08-2018 06:59 AM

Tom's Scrotum....
 
Tom's scrotum - The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving wife.......


The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirm uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is "sternum."

Steve 11-08-2018 07:02 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
:r:r:r

(for the record, I was really scared to open this thread...)

CigarNut 11-08-2018 07:02 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
:r :r

:lr :lr :lr

icehog3 11-08-2018 09:40 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Thank goodness this was not a Troop Auction thread......

icehog3 11-08-2018 09:48 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 2162918)
Thank goodness this was not a Troop Auction thread......

….and that it was a bicycle wreck and not a fall in the shower....

massphatness 11-08-2018 09:51 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 2162923)
….and that it was a bicycle wreck and not a fall in the shower....

Given the bicycle angle, the thread title would have been Rob's Scrotum

icehog3 11-08-2018 09:52 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by massphatness (Post 2162924)
Given the bicycle angle, the thread title would have been Rob's Scrotum

Touché. :D

Tio Gato 11-08-2018 12:54 PM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Great one Keith!:r:r:r

Flynnster 11-08-2018 04:23 PM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Never been so scared to open a thread on this forum.

kelmac07 11-08-2018 04:28 PM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
I thought, for certain, this was going to be a story about our Tom.

Brlesq 11-08-2018 05:34 PM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
:r:r

BigAsh 11-09-2018 07:03 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by kelmac07 (Post 2162955)
I thought, for certain, this was going to be a story about our Tom.

Stay tuned....:D

croatan 11-09-2018 07:40 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 2162918)
Thank goodness this was not a Troop Auction thread......

I was all ready to bid, too :noon

icehog3 11-09-2018 10:53 AM

Re: Tom's Scrotum....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BigAsh (Post 2162993)
Stay tuned....:D

:eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by croatan (Post 2163007)
I was all ready to bid, too :noon

-(P


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