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Guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar with a live chicken under his arm. The bartender says "You can't have a chicken in the bar". The man then takes the chicken from under his arm and eats it whole. He says to the bartender "I hope your happy! Now I'm gonna have get a new harpsichord!"
MCS |
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A man walks into a bar...
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A live chicken... :r a harpsichord... :r .... wait, is this a test? :)
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A baby seal walks into a club.
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Knock knock.
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Who's there
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It's 1972 and a man walks into a bar with a live goose under hs arm. The bartender says "You can't have live geese in here, man!". The guy says "But I'm a Cubs fan". The bartender then says "Come here and I will splash you with some Vermouth for free.".
MCS |
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What, and give up show business?
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A guy walks into a bar. Two hours later he walks out drunk off his @$$!
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Two guys walk into a bar. One is holding a picture of Jack Benny, the other, a picture of Lenny Bruce. The bartender says "We are all out of manilla envelopes."
MCS |
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A sandwich walks into a bar and orders dinner. The bartender says, we don't serve food here.
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Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
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The Blues walks into a bar and says "I got the damn blues dammit!"
MCS |
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A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walked into a bar. Wait...
What the hell are a rabbi, a priest, and a minister doing in a bar? |
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There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"
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This reads like a british comedy....I'm not sure if I should be laughing, but others seem to be enjoying it.
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MCS |
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A Ziggy comic walks into a bar and says "Bartender, I'm having a "Ziggy" day. What drink can you recommend for someone having a "Ziggy" day?" The bartender says " I never liked Ziggy. I've always been more of a Tank Mcnamara guy. How about some Gin and Drano?"
MCS |
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An oldie but goodie...
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? :r |
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There was a fire at the wax lips factory today. All the wax lips melted and there was a big mess.
MCS |
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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt. The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts".
A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?" |
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The original members of Menudo walk into a bar. Each member is wearing a New Kids on the Block t-shirt, a Backstreet Boys hat, and an NSYNC belt buckle. All the members order a Vodka and orange soda. The bartender says, "That's Keith Richards' favorite drink!". Terence Trent D'Arby was not harmed during the festivities.
MCS |
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A buffalo and hippo are getting ready to arm wrestle. Right before the match starts the referee kicks the hippo's chair out from underneath him. The hippo says why'd you do that for? The referee says leave my bologna sandwich alone!
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A giraffe walks into a bar and says "the high balls are on me"
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I'll admit it. I'm not smarter than a 5th grader..or MCS or MrM.
A man walks into a bar, slips on some beer and falls down. The buffalo just shakes his head and walks out. Posted via Mobile Device |
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Crystal walks into a bar and says "are you guys sniffing each others bags again".
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A guy walks into a bar, and it broke his nose.
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Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve stings here." So the pieces of string walk out.
They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar." So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts. Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Hey, you're not a string, are you?" The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot." |
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A guy walks into a bar and orders cake. The bartender ask what kind, beef or patty?
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A guy walks into a bar, notices his ex-wife is there with a date, and proceeds to eat a whole loaf of banana bread.
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David Hasselhoff walks into a bar...everyone is immediately drunk from the fumes.
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MCS |
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A guy walks into a bar and orders cake. The bartender asks "Do you want the gravy on the side".
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MCS |
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A bartender walks into a bar. The bartender says "Woah!" Nobody knows which bartender as each bartender's mouth was obscured.
MCS |
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This thread has been brought to you today by:
The letter Z, the number 789.2, and Gregory Peck. |
Re: Guy walks into a bar
These two hippos, Joe and Jake, walk into a bar and have a seat at a table. They order their drinks and while waiting Joe starts telling Jake about his day. "Jake, you'll never believe it. I"m minding my own business at the water hole and this Jeep drives up. Out jumps the white hair dude from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. He levels a rifle at me and fires. I feel a pinch and see a dart sticking out of my shoulder. Next thing you know the world goes dark. I wake up all groggy and have this damn tag in my ear now".
Just then a sheep at the next table leans over and says, "I can't help but overhear your conversation. Same thing happend to me today". The sheep flips his ear over to show a shiny new tag. Joe looks and Jake and says, "Hey Jake, look at this, a sheep that can talk". |
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Flo the Progresseve insurance gal and the GeIC0 gecko walk into a bar.
The bartender sees them, pulls out a sawed off shotgun and puts them out of our misery.:banger |
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Two guys walk into a bar...the third guy ducked and laughed "drunk dumb asses"!!!!!
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Guy drives into a bar.
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A baby seal walks into a club.
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a club walks into a bar and was told to beat it.
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"Get 'em, Jim!" :r |
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