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-   -   Guy walks into a bar (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=20711)

Mr.Maduro 09-01-2009 08:04 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
An oldie but goodie...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face?

:r

MajorCaptSilly 09-01-2009 08:05 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
There was a fire at the wax lips factory today. All the wax lips melted and there was a big mess.


MCS

ahc4353 09-01-2009 08:07 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt. The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts".






A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

MajorCaptSilly 08-29-2010 07:48 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
The original members of Menudo walk into a bar. Each member is wearing a New Kids on the Block t-shirt, a Backstreet Boys hat, and an NSYNC belt buckle. All the members order a Vodka and orange soda. The bartender says, "That's Keith Richards' favorite drink!". Terence Trent D'Arby was not harmed during the festivities.

MCS

Mr.Maduro 08-29-2010 08:15 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A buffalo and hippo are getting ready to arm wrestle. Right before the match starts the referee kicks the hippo's chair out from underneath him. The hippo says why'd you do that for? The referee says leave my bologna sandwich alone!

JaKaacH 08-29-2010 08:22 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A giraffe walks into a bar and says "the high balls are on me"

GolfNut 08-29-2010 08:23 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
I'll admit it. I'm not smarter than a 5th grader..or MCS or MrM.

A man walks into a bar, slips on some beer and falls down. The buffalo just shakes his head and walks out.
Posted via Mobile Device

JaKaacH 08-29-2010 08:28 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Crystal walks into a bar and says "are you guys sniffing each others bags again".

G G 08-29-2010 08:28 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A guy walks into a bar, and it broke his nose.

nozero 08-29-2010 08:31 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve stings here." So the pieces of string walk out.

They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Hey, you're not a string, are you?"

The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."

JaKaacH 08-29-2010 08:34 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A guy walks into a bar and orders cake. The bartender ask what kind, beef or patty?

icehog3 08-29-2010 10:26 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A guy walks into a bar, notices his ex-wife is there with a date, and proceeds to eat a whole loaf of banana bread.

Silound 08-31-2010 10:49 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
David Hasselhoff walks into a bar...everyone is immediately drunk from the fumes.

MajorCaptSilly 08-31-2010 10:52 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 970763)
A guy walks into a bar, notices his ex-wife is there with a date, and proceeds to eat a whole loaf of banana bread.

That's what I would do.

MCS

icehog3 08-31-2010 10:53 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly (Post 972617)
That's what I would do.

MCS

Tell me about it. I must have eaten 60 loaves already. She really gets around.

JaKaacH 08-31-2010 11:26 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A guy walks into a bar and orders cake. The bartender asks "Do you want the gravy on the side".

yourchoice 08-31-2010 11:35 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 528632)
Scott's harpsicord.

Scott's harpsicord who?

MajorCaptSilly 08-31-2010 11:40 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by yourchoice (Post 972671)
Scott's harpsicord who?

Scott's harpsicord in a wagon parked by your car! Face! Face! Face!


MCS

MajorCaptSilly 08-31-2010 11:42 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A bartender walks into a bar. The bartender says "Woah!" Nobody knows which bartender as each bartender's mouth was obscured.

MCS

Starscream 08-31-2010 12:02 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
This thread has been brought to you today by:

The letter Z, the number 789.2, and Gregory Peck.


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