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- Jokes (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/forumdisplay.php?f=59)

- - The Newlywed (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=11619)

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.” Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses… ”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

“You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie ?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

“But my sweet honey…at the bar….you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…”LISTEN UP D***HEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE H*LL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F****IN’ HORS D’OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A DAM BAR! THAT CHIT IS OVER… GOT IT, A$$HOLE?”

…and they lived happily ever after.

Re: The Newlywed

Was the guy's name Paul?

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildBlueSooner (Post 274757)

Was the guy's name Paul?

NOOOOO! :tg :ss

Re: The Newlywed

There you go, funny one Paul.

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggainey (Post 274764)

There you go, funny one Paul.

Thank you sir. :ss

Re: The Newlywed

it was Paul,wasn't it?:D:r:r:r:r

Re: The Newlywed

How true it is... :r:r:r

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by RottenZombie (Post 276243)

it was Paul,wasn't it?:D:r:r

:tg for you too. :D

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Vito (Post 276606)

repost :fu

Oooops! :o

Re: The Newlywed

*whew!* Sure glad that ain't me!

Funny stuff.

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBI_2 (Post 276671)

Oooops! :o

don't you remember reading it last year :r I was joking Paula:wo

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Vito (Post 276685)

don't you remember reading it last year I was joking Paula:wo

:mad: and another :tg for you also. :D

Damn! I need :alafter all this.

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBI_2 (Post 276987)

:mad: and another :tg for you also. :D

sumbody got the panties in a bunch?:wo:hf

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Vito (Post 277189)

sumbody got the panties in a bunch?:wo:hf

More like tighty-whities. :dance:

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBI_2 (Post 277924)

More like tighty-whities. :dance:

I heard you were into racing (cars)

Re: The Newlywed

Great as always Paul!:D

Re: The Newlywed

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Vito (Post 277931)

I heard you were into racing (cars)

:r:r:r

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamesb3 (Post 277973)

Great as always Paul!:D

Thanks! :ss