St. Paddy's
 

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.

Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.

Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!

Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day?
A: St. O'Claus!

Q: Are people jealous of the Irish?
A: Sure, they're green with envy!

Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?
A: The Halfback of Notre Dame!

Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A: Because they're very short-tempered!

"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"

Re: St. Paddy's
 

Q: What's Irish and stays out on the porch all night?

A: Paddy O'Furniture