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RevSmoke 01-08-2021 02:10 PM

squirrels in church
 
A little town had problems with squirrels at all the religious institutions.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Lutherans and Catholics came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.

The Poet 01-08-2021 02:26 PM

Re: squirrels in church
 
That sounds about right, except the Baptists in these parts would shoot the squirrels and have them for Sunday supper. :D

Brlesq 01-08-2021 02:39 PM

Re: squirrels in church
 
:r

Weelok 01-08-2021 04:35 PM

Re: squirrels in church
 
HahahA . Funny stuff.

icehog3 01-09-2021 09:18 AM

Re: squirrels in church
 
And now I know why I'm Episcopalian . :r

CigarNut 01-09-2021 09:25 AM

Re: squirrels in church
 
:r :r

longknocker 01-09-2021 09:32 AM

Re: squirrels in church
 
Good One, Todd!:r:D:tu

Steve 01-13-2021 07:42 AM

Re: squirrels in church
 
:r:r

Steve 01-13-2021 07:43 AM

Re: squirrels in church
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Poet (Post 2211278)
That sounds about right, except the Baptists in these parts would shoot the squirrels and have them for Sunday supper. :D

Truth!


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