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-   -   Guy walks into a bar (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=20711)

MajorCaptSilly 08-29-2009 01:41 PM

Guy walks into a bar
 
A guy walks into a bar with a live chicken under his arm. The bartender says "You can't have a chicken in the bar". The man then takes the chicken from under his arm and eats it whole. He says to the bartender "I hope your happy! Now I'm gonna have get a new harpsichord!"


MCS

Starscream 08-29-2009 01:48 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A man walks into a bar...

Ouch!

Blindjimme 08-29-2009 01:54 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A live chicken... :r a harpsichord... :r .... wait, is this a test? :)

Kreth 08-29-2009 04:37 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A baby seal walks into a club.
Posted via Mobile Device

icehog3 08-30-2009 12:33 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Knock knock.

McSmokey 08-30-2009 01:05 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Who's there

MajorCaptSilly 08-30-2009 10:46 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
It's 1972 and a man walks into a bar with a live goose under hs arm. The bartender says "You can't have live geese in here, man!". The guy says "But I'm a Cubs fan". The bartender then says "Come here and I will splash you with some Vermouth for free.".

MCS

icehog3 08-30-2009 11:19 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by McSmokey (Post 528423)
Who's there

Scott's harpsicord.

Texan in Mexico 08-30-2009 11:38 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
What, and give up show business?

Starscream 08-30-2009 04:11 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A guy walks into a bar. Two hours later he walks out drunk off his @$$!

MajorCaptSilly 08-30-2009 06:24 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Two guys walk into a bar. One is holding a picture of Jack Benny, the other, a picture of Lenny Bruce. The bartender says "We are all out of manilla envelopes."

MCS

DoctorBJ 08-30-2009 06:27 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A sandwich walks into a bar and orders dinner. The bartender says, we don't serve food here.

Starscream 08-31-2009 06:36 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

MajorCaptSilly 08-31-2009 06:49 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
The Blues walks into a bar and says "I got the damn blues dammit!"

MCS

Starscream 08-31-2009 06:56 PM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walked into a bar. Wait...
What the hell are a rabbi, a priest, and a minister doing in a bar?

Mr.Maduro 09-01-2009 06:40 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"

SchizoFilly 09-01-2009 07:44 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
This reads like a british comedy....I'm not sure if I should be laughing, but others seem to be enjoying it.

MajorCaptSilly 09-01-2009 07:52 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Maduro (Post 530978)
There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"

That was beautiful!

MCS

Mr.Maduro 09-01-2009 07:54 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly (Post 531050)
That was beautiful!

MCS

I had a feeling you would enjoy that. My friend and I have been telling that one for years.

MajorCaptSilly 09-01-2009 07:58 AM

Re: Guy walks into a bar
 
A Ziggy comic walks into a bar and says "Bartender, I'm having a "Ziggy" day. What drink can you recommend for someone having a "Ziggy" day?" The bartender says " I never liked Ziggy. I've always been more of a Tank Mcnamara guy. How about some Gin and Drano?"

MCS


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