Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

52 degrees out there. Windy, rain sprinkles, gray and crappy.
73 in here and I'm froze already.
Fortunately this will only last about 8 months, otherwise I'd go mental.
I am, without argument, the biggest cold wussy that ever lived.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

If you could make your response in the form of a wonderful poem like I did, that'd be swell. :tu

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Warm is nice,
Cold is neat.
Suck it up Scotty,
Better than frostbite on your feet. :r :r

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

My wife is going to be disappointed she's lost her crown.
It's entirely possible I'll get cut-off, then I'll be down.
You, my friend, are indeed a huge, huge wussy.
And the worst part is Tim gets no ...drawing a blank here... :)

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

My Mom lives in Allen, TX and she has a similar issue with cold. She uses a snuggie and an electric blanket (but she's 79), so maybe this will work for you?

http://i418.photobucket.com/albums/p...psb997d12a.jpg <<<<<<< Click On Me!

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

light a fire, sing a song
because summer is long gone
bubs is laughing because he has fur uncut
but you can laugh because he's about to lose a nut :D

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

There was once a gentle lad named Scott,
who felt a cold draft on his crotch.
Dealing with his frustration of age,
he danced in a pantless rage.

While this thread may become a roast,
at least you've got hotdog bun toast!
So stay warm by the fire, Until you expire.
Or go build me a Partagas boat!

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Roses are red
Violets are blue
While your sidewalk freezes
I'll be catching the South Florida breezes
But don't you fret thinking it will be all fun
Everyone knows you can burn in the Florida sun
So as you get your shovels in motion
I will be putting on my protective lotion

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

I got nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But then I am in Florida too.:r

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

A wuss you are,
About this you are correct,
If you were big and green I'd say you were Shreked,
Seems you are not and that was just some cold caused snot.
Poor poor Bubs, little doggy roaming the cold frosty halls,
While that bastard Scott plots and plans with glee about cutting off his balls.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

*****in about the cold won't do you no good.
Just make sure the snow is off your hood.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

I hate the cooler weather. Give me summer all year long...

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

oh come on, that didn't even rhyme :c

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

I like it warm, I like it cold...
But then again I'm not that old.
I like to golf, I like to ski...
I can spell my name in the snow will pee.
As long as its not too hot it matters not
So just buy the snuggie and quit whining, Scott.
:D

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Roses are red
Scotts balls are blue.
Quit whining about the cold
Don't you have some woodworking to do?

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Summer is warm and it is fun.
But the fall is cooler and so much better.
Lots of places you can't go nude in the sun,
But when its cold you can always grab a fricken blanket. :tu

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

There once was a guy from Pennsylvania,
He was wuss.
That is all.


Did I win?

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Haiku:

cold comes after hot
snow comes after sun turns grey
Scott will freeze his ass

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Get off my lawn you damn kids! :sl

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

I love the Summer, many cigars I burn.
Though I feel the change, the leaves will turn.
It's okay, even after Fall.
Because my friend Stickley, has Garagemahal.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

There once was a wussy named Scott,
Who is only content when it's hot,
Blah blah blah blah blah,
Blah blah blah blah blah,
My big size 12 up your ass. :D

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

I'm not even gonna try. I know when I'm beat. :lr

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Thanks, Bill! :D

Scott...it's coming:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/xKy2lLNQYrI?rel=0

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

There once was a man from Pawtucket
Who told Scotty-Boy to just suck it
Your bra isn't brass
And you won't freeze your ass
Just kick the cold before the ol' bucket.

(43 degrees here this morning.
And still smokin on the deck this evening.)

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

It was a balmy 64 this morning. In the bedroom.
38 outside.
I think I'll b1tch for the rest of the winter about this nonsense.

(I switched to Haiku cause I didn't have another sentence.)

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

don't know the rules of haiku's, but that doesn't sound like one :)

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

I consider haiku rules to be unnecessarily restraining and borderline Marxist, Ben.
Plus I don't know them, and I couldn't possibly do one even if I gave it an honest effort.
You should see how excited I get when I make a rhyme by mistake. That's cause I suck at poetry, too.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I find the winter dred
So screw being there with you

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

The heat is gone we say goodbye to summer
I’m really wondering about that hummer
My mental guitar I will soon be strumming
Because……winter is coming

That's really the extent of my poetic side :r

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

I hate to call this the winner, but, I mean, really?
If this doesn't speak to you, you need to work on your artsiness.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

This thread had me reading and thinking everything in the format of a poem yesterday.
Chit, that didn't ryme.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Being cold is just another series
Of complaints that
My wife continually moans and
B!+ches about.

Sometimes, though, she gets
Cold for no reason like the
One time he had the heater of
The car blowing on her legs.
That's cold natured!

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Now there's a real coincidence. It's 38 here too!



Inside my fridge. :lr :lr :lr

Actually it's cooling down here as well. They say it could drop all the way into the seventies at the end of the week. Time to put away the summer tank tops and dig out the fall tee shirts. Fortunately we're still a long ways from the winter sweat shirts.

Of course those wardrobe choices only apply when I'm smoking out in the courtyard. ;)

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Five short syllables
Seven longer syllables
Five more syllables.

So there you have it
A haiku definition
Typed as a haiku.

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Got it, Peter. :tu

I carried my ass
to the shop. Motivation
is in short supply.

And it's pretty damn
cold out here. Can't say as I'm
really feelin it.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

:)

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Haikus for you

Winter coming soon
Big deal, I'm stuck on Gulf Coast
Cold here means fifty.

I enjoy the cold
Yet we keep getting stationed
In desert or South.

Warm, cold, either way
I'll fire up a cigar
And sip some whiskey.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

So last night, it's hot as the hubs of hell up in our bedroom. When I took the hound out late last night, it was dark, still, cloudless, and an inch from frost.
I opened up the bedroom window for an hour or two just to cool it down. I couldn't sleep cause stupid the dog hurt my back and I couldn't find a comfortable position. So I get a blanket, wrap it around me, and hit the floor. Finally, I fall asleep.
An hour later I woke up froze solid, teeth chattering, and wondered what the heck I was thinking in the first place. :)

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

The dog he's happy
because cold it be
Scott now feels crappy
because the dog had to pee

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

Frigid winter waits
The chill Scott begins to feel
Tells of things to come.


Haiku!

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

God bless you.

Re: Let Me Be The First To B1tch About The Cold.
 

It dropped down to 71* today
I hate poems