Cat advice
 

I have 2 cats: Ginger & Cupcake. They are about 8 years old and very healthy inside cats. Lately they have been ignoring me. The only time they give me any attention is when they're hungry. I think they are also mocking me when I'm not looking. Do you think they're mad at me?

MCS

Re: Cat advice
 

Try playing hard to get.

BTW, they are definitely mocking you.

Re: Cat advice
 

Try starving them. Worked with my kids...

...wait. I dont have kids. Never mind, then.

Re: Cat advice
 

Do you think they might be conspiring? I was ambushed once by my cats, but after fighting my way out of the brawl I established myself as the alpha male.

Re: Cat advice
 

They are planning on assassinating you. Sorry MCS, you obviously missed the quiz.

Re: Cat advice
 

Cats are pussies.

Re: Cat advice
 

Maybe they need to go for a long hike on a short trail...

Re: Cat advice
 

You must analyze - which do you have?

http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/2...8684c20b94.jpg

Re: Cat advice
 

My cats vary their attention giving and seeking. Sometimes, very needy, sometimes very aloof. But no matter how they are acting, cats are always plotting our demise.

Re: Cat advice
 

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Re: Cat advice
 

you're confused.

Dogs have MASTERS.

Cats have STAFF.

Re: Cat advice
 

:tpd: They are behaving like CATS!

Re: Cat advice
 

I just had a talk with Ginger and she said that Cupcake is making her ignore me. Seems I walked where Cupcake wanted to walk a couple weeks ago and he can't let it go. I'm gonna get him some catnip.

MCS

Re: Cat advice
 

Bribes usually work.

Re: Cat advice
 

What kind of example are you setting? Trying to buy their love with drugs?

Re: Cat advice
 

I would love you for drugs, MCS.

Re: Cat advice
 

This will only end ugly.

Re: Cat advice
 

Love me long time?

MCS

Re: Cat advice
 

They taste like chicken. A .22 is more than enough.



Bon Appetit.

Re: Cat advice
 

rub that catnip on your thighs, problem solved

Re: Cat advice
 

as far as their diet: vodka looks a lot like water.

de-claw them as soon as you can. they are going to tear out your throat on christmas eve. a little birdy told me.

Re: Cat advice
 

I'm pretty sure my cat is an engineer. The kind with a hat.

Re: Cat advice
 

I think they would like cake.:D That'll win them over.

If not, drop them off behind the Chinese restaurant.

Re: Cat advice
 

Maybe it has something to do with you naming them!!!:D

Re: Cat advice
 

They probably played hide the poo while you were at work. They're ignoring you to not give away the location.

Re: Cat advice
 

Did you change their cat litter by chance? They hate some types and will start pi$$ing underneath your bed and behind your furniture and by the time you figure out what they have been doing they will start acting nice again to you. They are masters of psychology.

Re: Cat advice
 

Get dogs, problem solved.

Re: Cat advice
 

Re: Cat advice
 

Here is what you do, feed them less so they're always hungry! ...Or get a dog and the problem will solve itself.

Re: Cat advice
 

I honestly fear that my cat is not only learning how to speak English, but is also an alcoholic....More than once now I have woken up, gone to the kitchen, and found another bottle of booze knocked off the top of the fridge and a woozy cat nearby...

Re: Cat advice
 

my cat used to love to get drunk or was that me thinking i was a cat i dont no i was drunk

Re: Cat advice
 

:cb

Re: Cat advice
 

:r

Other problems may arise........

Re: Cat advice
 

http://www.google.com/images?q=tbn:k.../05/CatGun.jpg

Nuff said.

Re: Cat advice
 

Move all of your furniture around, that will piss them off for sure!

Re: Cat advice
 

MCS,

I saw this and feared for you, until I saw it was in North Carolina.

Hide the handguns!!
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2008/12/...4091229116961/

:r:r

The headline says it all.

Re: Cat advice
 

I rubbed them together and stuck them on the ceiling today. They are pissed. Sleeping with my eyes open tonight!

MCS

Re: Cat advice
 

Gotta throw this out there....


Do you know how to make a cat sound like a dog??























Douse it in gasoline, light a match, and WOOF!!!!


Now, do you know how to make a dog sound like a cat??



















Stick it in the freezer for about a week, take it out, run it across the tablesaw....MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!



:r:r:r

Re: Cat advice
 

:r:r:r:r:r

It's a good thing you are all in an asylum because you are frickin nuts. :r

Re: Cat advice
 

wrap their feet in foil and put a sock on their heads, they'll love you forever

Re: Cat advice
 

cats make good coyote bait. put 'em in a cage to small for the to turn around, they'll yowl and cry, coyotes come a runnin, shoot coyote, let cat out, they love you now.

Re: Cat advice
 

:tg

Re: Cat advice
 

Get a dog. The dog will take care of the cats and you will have a lifelong companion.

Re: Cat advice
 

cats no the score tho

Re: Cat advice
 

I have a dog as well. I also have 2 little alien babies, a panda bear, a moon rock, and one of Tiny Tim's ukuleles.

MCS