Crushed.
 

I know quite a few members her have gone through a divorce or breakup at some time in their dating careers.
Which brings me to my dilema. After 3 years my Girlfriend and I have broken up. I dont know if its for good or anything like that. I know I am young (almost 22) but the heavy heart and feeling of extreme loss is real all the same. What are your experiences with getting past someone that was such an integral part of your life for so long?

Any insight is greatly appreciated. (but dont be a D!ck)

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Sorry brother, been there. The only thing that helped is time. There were times when it seemed like I'd never get over her but I did and I found the woman who put all the rest to shame. Oh and a little whiskey helped as well ;)

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As one chapter of your life ends, another begins. Youre devastated now, but in a couple years you'll be wanting to send her a fruit basket for doing you the favor.

Keep your chin up, everything happens for a reason.

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I have no words of wisdom, but I do hope that this turns out to be a blessing for you in the future.

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Same here.

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So far I like the whiskey idea best. :ss Im moving away too so that will help too.

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Listen brother. Number one, don't dwell. It's dangerous. Keep your head up and always look on the bright side of things. If you can believe that everything happens for a reason then your good to go and ahead of the game.

I'm sure this isn't your first girlfriend. Maybe first of three years, maybe she did things for you the previous wouldn't but the fact remains if the last relationship didn't end then this one would not have started.

Spend your time doing things you like. 22? Cigars, video games, music, fireworks, friends, family, bowling. Whatever.

Take down her picture man, looking at it does nothing for you. Close the book, throw it on the shelf and open yourself a new one. An interesting one. Sometimes, change is good!

Feel better brother. If you need anything, let me know.

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I hear you. Thanks for the tip. Having the support of an entire family here just made things a little easier to take.

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Life is too short. Don't get too upset. While one door may close, one always opens:)

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This place. Seriously. Couldn't have slogged through it without these knuckle heads.

Biggest mistake for me was becoming a hermit. Herfs got me out of the house.
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I am moving to Tampa so Ill be able to hang out with all the guys up there and a school with atleast 20,000 students should pep me up.

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Sorry to hear that Mark, here's to quick healing and what lies ahead. I'm here (as I would imagine many others are) if you need and ear brother.

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Sorry to hear the bad news. IMO good freinds and time will make it hurt less and less.

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Thanks Al I may take you up on that.

Time takes too long.

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Last time I went through this was college... when dinosaurs ruled the earth. :D

Girl I had asked to marry me - dumped me... after I drove 14 hours home to see her... had just given her an expensive gift... on Christmas Eve. Man that sucked! :mad:

I moped for three days... tried to win her back... wrote her a card and left it on her car. No response. :sad

I was ticked... decided to ask out a girl I had known for years that liked me. We saw each other every day until I went back to school.

Started dating another girl when I got back to school... and I have been married to her for over 26 years.

I am so glad that the relationship with the first girl ended when it did - or the timing would not have been right otherwise. Hurt at the time, but not for too long.

If your old girlfriend wants to spend her life with you, she will figure it out. But if she really isn't sure... then you are better off to find out now. Hurts now - but would hurt even more later if you had gotten even deeper involved.

Praying for you, Mark. You have much to look forward to! :tu

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Go hang out with TripleF... Scott will fix you right up! :ss

Maybe he has a daughter... :hm

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Dang Mark sorry to hear.

Herfing with us will probably help :)

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He does but I highly doubt hed let a wild man like me meet her lol

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I definitely need to occupy myself to keep from thinking of her.

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Smoke a cigar and rewatch your favorite movie.

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One door may have closed. But, in time, you will find that many others will open.

Take it from an old fart who knows. :pn (oops. sorry.)

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500 days of summer. Revoke my man card if you like, but its the perfect movie for this.

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Sorry to hear it Mark.

When I was your age and that stuff happened to me I'd revel in it for awhile. Listen to some Frank Sinatra, cause when you've loved and lost the way Frank has you know what life's about. ;) But hang out with your buddies and have fun. These break ups hurt, they're supposed to, lets you know you're human. It will turn around soon enough and then you'll be going "man I miss my single days". :D

So buck up little camper, tomorrow will be a brighter day.

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Just keep your head up and keep moving forward :tu Just think all the time you'll have for cigars and drinks now :ss

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Like Chingas said. Had an earlier relationship not ended... you wouldn't have had this one. Now that this one has ended you have the next to look forward to. With many hard lessons learned, which will make the next relationship that much better! Trust me... been there done that!

But future reflections take time to help heal the wound. You're hurting now... My suggestion? Do something incredibly selfish for you! Go buy a motorcycle or something nice like a hug new humidor!!! Then go about finding and collecting cigars. Sometimes a little selfishness and irresponsibility can go a LONG way towards cheering you up!

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It's better to figure out that it wouldn't work out now, then after you marry her.:tu What to do now? Whatever you want to.....because someday you'll probably have a lot less freedom. Just don't lock yourself in. Sit on your porch, drink a beer, have a cigar, and read a good book. Go fishing. Go out with your friends. Go to the shooting range. It's summertime...lots of festivals. Go camping. Do some project you've been meaning to get to (woodworking, write a book, whatever). Just remember that you have lots of friends and family online and off that are here for ya if you need them.

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AS been stated before don't dwell. You are 22, I didn't realize how dumb I was at 22 until I was 32, then I didn't realize how dumb I was at 32 until I hit 40.

Mourn the loss, recover from it, before you know it someone will be along and be better than before.

I married for the first time at 39 now I have two beautiful teenage daughters, and a very loving wife, none of which I would have had if I hadn't had bad breakups before.

It's part of it brother, a life experience and you have to go through the bad to find the truly good.

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I recently broke up with a steady of a couple years and in my ripe old age of 39 ended it before it got to the yelling stage, I would like to think were still friends and we still talk every once in a while.

Don't be sad that it ended but happy that it happened.

I am sure there was some good that came of it after all you were with her for a while so there must've been some love there. 22 is kind of young (at least is was for me) and there still some stuff to be learned. In fact at 39 there's still stuff to be learned.

A one night fling always helps too.

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I think it was revoked a long time ago, Aldrin. :p

The advice given is pretty much nuts on. #1, you're young, and it's part of life and growing up. I too, was one who felt things like this deeply and painfully. I got married to my ex when I was 22 (WAY too young). But the things I went through while with her made me the person I am today. It prepared me for the rest of my life. Several people here have met my wife, and know just how lucky I am. I love her dearly, and we are MUCH MUCH MUCH more compatible than I was with my ex. She loves and supports me and lets me be who I am.

take a step back and look at things differently. Remember the good times, but try not to dwell on them. Those memories will fade with time, but there are MANY more adventures waiting ahead of you. Heading to school in Tampa? Think of all the much hotter coeds you'll be able to hook up with now. :D Just relax and enjoy life as you can. The right opportunities will show themselves when you least expect them. I know that one from experience. The harder you look for them, the harder they will be to find.

Keep ya chin up!

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I got invited to my ex girlfriends wedding after bumping into her at college a year earlier. Not exactly the most fun watching your ex all over someone else saying I do, etc. Later that night, I met a beautiful girl who had just had a breakup of her own. We danced, had a drink and two weeks later met for dinner. I have been with her for the past 11 years since and share a home and a beautiful family with her.

Keep your head up and know that you have the whole world open to you. Make something great happen!

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I guess you could call me an old fart as I shall turn 40 this year, but I am in denial as I still think I am young. My advice is that you should recognize that she just gave you the best gift ever. Will you be going to USF? If so that is 40,000 students and as a recent alumnus I can assure you there is no shortage of attractive and smart women there. Tampa is a great city and the cigar culture is still alive there. At age 22 you are still young, and have lots of great things ahead of you. Try not to dwell on the past, move ahead towards new experiences and new friends. Next time I will be in tampa maybe we can get together and have a cigar.

Oh yeah.... GO BULLS!!!

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Sorry to hear.
Been there.
You have to follow one simple philosophy:
One door closes but another opens.
Things happen for a reason.

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Byt I feel like my fingers were still in the door when it slammed shut. I'm doing my best to "move on" but she was there for me through a lot of the medical adventures I Went through. She was a major support system for me and it seems as though my legs were kicked out from under me.

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Well, My dog just died at the age of 15. That should keep my mind off things.

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They make some good cigars in Tampa. :D

My only advice is this: if you have any kind of daily routine, break it as much as you can for a while. I know it sounds crazy, but it will help.

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:( Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

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Wolfgang,
I am so sorry! My heart goes out to you. Are you from SRQ? I grew up on bird key.

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Dude, that sucks! Losing your best friend is NEVER easy! I remember when we had to put down my St. Bernard when I was a kid. We had him for not even half the time you've had yours (hell, you basically grew up with him) and I was devastated. Took me another 4yrs or so before I could bring myself to get another dog.

On the upside... He was 15. So he lived a very long, happy, and fulfilled life. Most dogs - unless very well loved and cared for - never make it that far. Take solace in knowing that you gave a friend your very best and made their life long and fulfilled.

If you were in VA, man, the scotch (gotta bottle of The Glenlivet that is now 19yrs old) and the stogies would be on me.

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NO matter what happened, it is always for the best. A good woman sees a good man and stays. A woman
who will just end up screwing you over for cash anyway? It's better to let them go. let her go ruin some other
man's life. They look like flowers and music on the outside, but they are the most cunning, cruel things
on the planet. Every one who ever dumped me probably did the right thing, I have never stayed put anywhere
for very long, and I have never earned a big pile of cash as a result. Plus I work in a tough field for getting
rich to begin with. But when they left, I am sure they thought twice about the lovin'. There has never been
a better lover on the planet than me.

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My gf of 2yrs broke up with me a month ago. There's two wys to get through it (I've had plenty of break ups lol).

Jerk move but fastest healing: Think of a break up as putting down your old dog. Now it's time to go find a puppy to help you forget. I recommend a higher class pet store (fine establishment with cocktails) not a pound with rescue puppies (club).

Less than jerk move: Keep talking to her which will cause you to hurt longer.

Good guy move: Smoke some cigars, get back in touch with friends you've drifted apart from in the last few years, smokes some cigars and drink some scotch.

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The only advice I'll add is to listen to the above posters.

I went through a really rough breakup a few years ago. To make it worse, I was somewhere in the middle of a 9 month stint of living in a hotel in a fairly desolate area of upstate NY in winter.

Someone posted a thread on here (or CS, can't remember) similar to yours. He was venting his misery and asking whether or not to keep up the effort to get her back. I believe it was Tom who came through with the sage advice of letting things be and moving on. I figured that my situation was different, no one has experienced the love I did, etc etc etc. Turns out, that advice I read given by a guy I never met in person to another guy I never met in person was spot on. I finally let go, and ended up meeting the wonderful girl I'm now engaged to.

Enjoy life, experience life, and listen to the Adm DB.

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Dude, your Dog too. I'm so sorry. Swing by Jersey before Tampa and we'll kick back, shoot the **** and have a smoke on me...

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As they say: Sh*t happens. And it normally happens for a reason. Sometimes you never get over or at least never forget. I still think about a girl, we were going to get married, then broke up. I've written about her and wrote to her - but never mailed them.

Then I met my wife - and that was like 33 years ago. So it's tough, it sucks, but eventually you will find the one that was meant for you.

Ron

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Thank you all for the support it helped me quite a bit.

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Whatever we can do to help brother. No worries.

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Ive actually got a date (per say) on Wednesday with a girl i've known for years. She is going to show me around campus and help me look for apartments.

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:tu

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Thumbs up brother. Rule one... DONT MENTION THE EX!

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I most certainly will not.