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Texts From Last Night....a website
Warning: If you're easily offended, this might not be for you.
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ Pretty hysterical stuff. |
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(410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpe$ is gone.
:r:r:r |
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fookin' funny bro!
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(859): Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
(502): Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine? ROFL |
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(908): the vacuum is drunk (703): what? (908): i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk |
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(859): im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
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(714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
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(714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your sh!tty personality.
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:r some of those are classic...I think I could add to that site!
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(617): Oh sh!t, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
how do i get this girls number?? |
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(843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
:r:r |
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(212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
OMG :pu |
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Omg omg omg
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heres one for Dunng
(206): Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals |
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(603): Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
(1-603): No...more like a life jacket. I think we've all been there... |
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Hahahahah, on both of those.
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:r:r:r
Thanks for the laugh, the site's making its way around work now :D |
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(405): Yeah, i think she was German or something.
(1-405): No dude, she's just got a speech impediment. So mean but funny! |
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(973): haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
(630): savin' lives aint cheap |
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(603): I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
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I admit it took me a minute to get this one...
(602): how was that guy you hooked up with? (415): i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing |
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lol funny
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(832): I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hahahaha |
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(614): I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What Area Code is Greg's phone???? |
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(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know |
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Couple that :r
(323): I'm being pulled over??? (520): For what!?!?! (323): ??? I'm in a cab!!!!! and (301): Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!! |
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I know I've posted a ton of these but I can't help it. It's hilarious..
(212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night? (1-212): idk but i think it had a face |
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oh man sooo wrong!! :r
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omg omg, all of them, awesome
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(845): Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
---------------- Now playing: Zac Brown Band - Toes via FoxyTunes |
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(617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
(513): Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude? ---------------- Now playing: Zac Brown Band - Toes via FoxyTunes |
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:hm
(413): Wow you were great! I thought girls were good but man! (413): Thanks, wanna ask Vin to join us next time? |
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(313): All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
(517): Maybe you should learn how to spell write first :r (805): Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with? (1-805): Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info. :fu |
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Hahahaha, great minds think alike, eh Gerard? :D
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(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF??? (512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that LMAO! (817): She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs. (1-817): OMG. What did u say? (817): I told her I did too. |
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(323): just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
---------------- Now playing: Brad Paisley & Keith Urban - Start A Band via FoxyTunes |
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LOL... this site is classic:
(401): my mouth tastes like poor choices |
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That one is hilarious..
More: (859): I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night. (1-859): Thanks for throwing up on me. |
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603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know |
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