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-   -   Texts From Last Night....a website (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=14849)

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:24 AM

Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Warning: If you're easily offended, this might not be for you.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Pretty hysterical stuff.

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:27 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(410): You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpe$ is gone.


:r:r:r

Scottw 04-30-2009 09:29 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
fookin' funny bro!

Mugen910 04-30-2009 09:31 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(859): Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
(502): Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?


ROFL

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:32 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mugen910 (Post 363343)
(859): Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
(502): Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?


ROFL

hahahahaaha.....

(908): the vacuum is drunk
(703): what?
(908): i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:32 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(859): im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:33 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(714): OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:34 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your sh!tty personality.

WildBlueSooner 04-30-2009 09:35 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
:r some of those are classic...I think I could add to that site!

md4958 04-30-2009 09:36 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(617): Oh sh!t, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises

how do i get this girls number??

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:39 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by WildBlueSooner (Post 363356)
:r some of those are classic...I think I could add to that site!

Do it, do it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by md4958 (Post 363359)
(617): Oh sh!t, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises

how do i get this girls number??

Well Moe - She's a Ma$$hole...can't be too hard... :D

357 04-30-2009 09:41 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

:r:r

Mugen910 04-30-2009 09:46 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

OMG :pu

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:47 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Omg omg omg

md4958 04-30-2009 09:47 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
heres one for Dunng

(206): Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals

357 04-30-2009 09:53 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(603): Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
(1-603): No...more like a life jacket.

I think we've all been there...

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 09:55 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Hahahahah, on both of those.

-MG- 04-30-2009 09:58 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
:r:r:r

Thanks for the laugh, the site's making its way around work now :D

Mugen910 04-30-2009 09:59 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(405): Yeah, i think she was German or something.
(1-405): No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

So mean but funny!

357 04-30-2009 10:01 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(973): haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
(630): savin' lives aint cheap

MedicCook 04-30-2009 10:05 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by md4958 (Post 363359)
(617): Oh sh!t, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises

how do i get this girls number??

How do you know it was a girl? :r

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 10:08 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(603): I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

357 04-30-2009 10:11 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
I admit it took me a minute to get this one...

(602): how was that guy you hooked up with?
(415): i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing

dunng 04-30-2009 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by md4958 (Post 363382)
heres one for Dunng

(206): Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals

So true... :D
Posted via Mobile Device

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 10:11 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 357 (Post 363433)
I admit it took me a minute to get this one...

(602): how was that guy you hooked up with?
(415): i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing

:r:r:r

md4958 04-30-2009 10:14 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MedicCook (Post 363422)
How do you know it was a girl? :r

:lv

LooseCard 04-30-2009 10:14 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by md4958 (Post 363359)
(617): Oh sh!t, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises

how do i get this girls number??

I don't think that it would be a good idea for you to meat her.

adampc22 04-30-2009 10:16 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
lol funny

King James 04-30-2009 10:17 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(832): I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.

hahahaha

LooseCard 04-30-2009 10:19 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(614): I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.


What Area Code is Greg's phone????

357 04-30-2009 10:20 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

Mugen910 04-30-2009 10:25 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 357 (Post 363460)
(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

HAHA that's New Hampshire area code!!

kaisersozei 04-30-2009 10:27 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Couple that :r

(323): I'm being pulled over???
(520): For what!?!?!
(323): ??? I'm in a cab!!!!!


and


(301): Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!

357 04-30-2009 10:28 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
I know I've posted a ton of these but I can't help it. It's hilarious..

(212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
(1-212): idk but i think it had a face

Mugen910 04-30-2009 10:29 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
oh man sooo wrong!! :r

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 10:30 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
omg omg, all of them, awesome

WildBlueSooner 04-30-2009 10:33 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LooseCard (Post 363441)
I don't think that it would be a good idea for you to meat her.

Please tell me that is an intentional pun :r

smokeyandthebandit05 04-30-2009 10:33 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(845): Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo





----------------
Now playing: Zac Brown Band - Toes
via FoxyTunes

smokeyandthebandit05 04-30-2009 10:34 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.


(513): Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?




----------------
Now playing: Zac Brown Band - Toes
via FoxyTunes

ahc4353 04-30-2009 10:37 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
:hm

(413): Wow you were great! I thought girls were good but man!
(413): Thanks, wanna ask Vin to join us next time?

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 10:38 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ahc4353 (Post 363504)
:hm

(413): Wow you were great! I thought girls were good but man!
(413): Thanks, wanna ask Vin to join us next time?

Oh jeez....where is Vin btw....

Quote:

(313): All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
(517): Maybe you should learn how to spell write first

kaisersozei 04-30-2009 10:39 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(313): All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
(517): Maybe you should learn how to spell write first

:r

(805): Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
(1-805): Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.

:fu

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 10:40 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Hahahaha, great minds think alike, eh Gerard? :D

kaisersozei 04-30-2009 10:40 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mrreindeer (Post 363516)
Hahahaha, great minds think alike, eh Gerard? :D

:tu

smokeyandthebandit05 04-30-2009 10:40 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF???
(512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

LMAO!

(817): She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
(1-817): OMG. What did u say?
(817): I told her I did too.

smokeyandthebandit05 04-30-2009 10:52 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
(323): just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo




----------------
Now playing: Brad Paisley & Keith Urban - Start A Band
via FoxyTunes

Smokin Gator 04-30-2009 10:55 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
LOL... this site is classic:

(401): my mouth tastes like poor choices

mrreindeer 04-30-2009 10:58 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by smokin gator (Post 363542)
lol... This site is classic:

(401): My mouth tastes like poor choices

awesome

357 04-30-2009 10:59 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
That one is hilarious..

More:
(859): I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
(1-859): Thanks for throwing up on me.

Smokin Gator 04-30-2009 11:04 AM

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 
603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know


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