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Children shouldn't play with dead things.

MCS

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Dont tug on supermans cape,
Dont spit in the wind,
Dont pull the mask off ole lone ranger...



Hind site is 20/20 but you might bump into something when using it.

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A truth I remember from my grandmother: "Show me your friends and I'll tell you what kind of person you are."

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Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.



Man who eats prunes, gets good run for money.

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Would you mind having a seminar on this with my 16 year old daughter?


My addition:

If it smells funny don't eat it.

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Don't try this at Home...we're all trained professionals!

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Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

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Never stay in bed unless you get paid well for it.

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"Don't look into car headlights and freeze, because you will either get run over or shot." -Bill Watterson as Hobbes

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"Bought right is half-sold". Old cattle buyer's saying.

WyoBob

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Surprised I havn't seen this one yet:

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.



Walk softly and carry a big stick.



A friend in need is a friend in deed. Or as we used to say in the summer of love (1967 for you puppies) "A friend with weed is a friend in deed".



Don't bite the hand that feeds you.



One man's ceiling is another man's floor.



The older I get, the smarter my dad becomes. He is the smartest man I know. Virtually eveything he ever told me turned out to be true.

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On that note,

When I was sixteen, my father was the most ignorant man in the world. By the time I reached 21, I was surprised at how much he had learned in five years
-Mark Twain

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That's amazing, I have had the exact same experience!

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Government that can give you everything can take it all away.

Murphy was an optimist!!!

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. (know this one by personal experience)

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"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming in terror like his passengers."

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Here is something my Great Grandmother told my little brother when he got in trouble for stuff his "friends" would do.

If you run with the wolves you howl with the wolves.

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Your actions are speaking so loudly I can't hear what your saying.

Beauty is only skin-deep but ugly goes to the bone.

Failure teaches success as long as you are willing to learn from it and don't stop trying.

Ignorance can be corrected but stupidity is permanent.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

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Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill in the same night! :sleep:

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:r :r :r

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
- Ben Franklin

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Taking off is optional, Landing is mandatory.