Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum - Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

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- - Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement? (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=33551)

Genetic Defect

06-30-2010 06:44 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

yippy

HK3-	06-30-2010 07:30 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

I have two boxes of esplendidos that I brought back from cuba....... ;s:banger

longknocker

06-30-2010 07:52 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by HK3- (Post 904018)

I have two boxes of esplendidos that I brought back from cuba....... ;s:banger

Not Again!!!:bh:r

Blueface

07-01-2010 12:19 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

All can rest now.
Seems many more news networks are now confirming this story, although some are saying actual settlement may be less than this rumored amount.

At the end of the day, who really truly cares?
Won't make me any healthier, richer or happier.
My life still goes on as it ever did.

icehog3

07-01-2010 01:35 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueface (Post 904673)

At the end of the day, who really truly cares?
Won't make me any healthier, richer or happier.
My life still goes on as it ever did.

Unless Elin is looking for a Cuban squeeze. ;)

pnoon

07-01-2010 01:44 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Singing . . . .

Elin's got a squeeze box. Carlos never sleeps at night.
He goes . .

Nevermind. :D
Posted via Mobile Device

BlackDog

07-01-2010 01:46 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by pnoon (Post 904772)

Singing . . . .

Elin's got a squeeze box. Carlos never sleeps at night.
He goes . .

Nevermind. :D

:r :r :r

Blueface

07-01-2010 03:17 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 904760)

Unless Elin is looking for a Cuban squeeze. ;)

I would take her in a heartbeat.
Not sure what method Clara will then use to kill me but I sure as heck would take Elin.

icehog3

07-01-2010 04:41 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueface (Post 904853)

I would take her in a heartbeat.
Not sure what method Clara will then use to kill me but I sure as heck would take Elin.

Can I have Elin if Clara goes berserk? :r

longknocker

07-01-2010 04:43 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 904931)

Can I have Elin if Clara goes berserk? :r

Mila Would Be Upset!:D

pnoon

07-01-2010 04:52 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by longknocker (Post 904933)

Mila Would Be Upset!:D

I'll console her. :)

longknocker

07-01-2010 04:54 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by pnoon (Post 904948)

I'll console her. :)

:r:tu

icehog3

07-01-2010 05:01 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by longknocker (Post 904933)

Mila Would Be Upset!:D

Mila is Ryan's heartthrob. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by pnoon (Post 904948)

I'll console her. :)

You console Mila, Elin can console me with her eleventy billion dollars. :)

BlackDog

07-01-2010 07:14 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 904969)

Mila is Ryan's heartthrob. ;)

You console Mila, Elin can console me with her eleventy billion dollars. :)

OK, so thus far in this thread we've got a jilted murderous wife, a dead husband, and at least three philanderous husbands. That's gotta be worth about 5 billion dollars at the new "Tiger" exchange rate. :xxx

ChicagoWhiteSox

07-01-2010 07:20 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

http://thugtooth.net/images/tiger_wo...nal_poster.jpg

Skywalker

07-01-2010 07:37 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChicagoWhiteSox (Post 903688)

I wish I was a divorce attorney:D

I wish I was divorcing Tiger!!!:D

Blueface

07-02-2010 05:34 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skywalker (Post 905156)

I wish I was divorcing Tiger!!!:D

Maybe I am getting too money hungry but man if you wish you were divorcing him, then I wish I was now marrying him.:r
There is still lots more money to come out of that cash cow.

BlackDog

07-02-2010 07:31 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueface (Post 905522)

Maybe I am getting too money hungry but man if you wish you were divorcing him, then I wish I was now marrying him.:r
There is still lots more money to come out of that cash cow.

Absolutely. The line to be the next Mrs. Woods is going to be very long.

BigCat

07-02-2010 08:57 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackDog (Post 905576)

Absolutely. The line to be the next Mrs. Woods is going to be very long.

Something tells me the next Mrs. Woods is going to sign an air tight pre-nup.

icantbejon

07-02-2010 09:11 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigCat (Post 905639)

Something tells me the next Mrs. Woods is going to sign an air tight pre-nup.

Without a doubt...his lawyers know his true colors now. They won't let any discrepancy pass. There might as well not be a next Mrs. Woods. Tiger should just stay himself and be the man-whore he is. He'll be happier and more wealthy in the long run.

HK3-	07-02-2010 09:35 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Dont hate the player, hate the game. :banger

Genetic Defect

07-02-2010 09:55 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by pnoon (Post 904948)

I'll console her. :)

PS3?

gvarsity

07-02-2010 01:26 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Woods and Elin have a pre-nuptial agreement. Granted he is going to pay more than the pre-nup requires for her to disappear but I just can't believe this 750 million dollar number.

stewshi

07-02-2010 02:06 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icantbejon (Post 905647)

Hopefully he goes back to being himself cause right now his golf game is suffering and he isn't going to earn much more the way he's playing.

2011 Headline: Tiger Woods net worth $50 mil - Elin net worth $1 billion

Lear31MX

07-02-2010 04:35 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

you'll lose more money chasing women.

you'll lose less women chasing money.

GreekGodX

07-02-2010 07:01 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Reports now are saying $100 million.

icehog3

07-02-2010 08:06 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreekGodX (Post 906107)

Reports now are saying $100 million.

How will she ever survive? :rolleyes:

Kreth

07-02-2010 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 906163)

How will she ever survive? :rolleyes:

Coupons.
Posted via Mobile Device

icehog3

07-02-2010 08:28 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kreth (Post 906189)

Coupons.
Posted via Mobile Device

And Ramen noodles.

Kreth

07-03-2010 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 906191)

And Ramen noodles.

She might have to cut back on the PPV too.
Posted via Mobile Device

icehog3

07-03-2010 12:53 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kreth (Post 906490)

She might have to cut back on the PPV too.
Posted via Mobile Device

I can see a Netflix rental once or twice a week, but you're right...no more PPV.

markem

07-03-2010 12:55 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 906638)

I can see a Netflix rental once or twice a week, but you're right...no more PPV.

Probably can't afford the golf channel anymore either :r

icehog3

07-03-2010 01:12 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by markem (Post 906641)

Probably can't afford the golf channel anymore either :r

Than where shall she find her next meal tick...I mean husband?

awsmith4

07-03-2010 01:42 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 906648)

Than where shall she find her next meal tick...I mean husband?

With ESPN she can scan all the dating pools at once

icehog3

07-03-2010 03:15 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by awsmith4 (Post 906664)

With ESPN she can scan all the dating pools at once

But can she afford cable with only 100-750 million? :confused:

awsmith4

07-03-2010 03:24 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 906727)

But can she afford cable with only 100-750 million? :confused:

I didn't think of that...maybe she can steal SI from the waiting room of the welfare office

icehog3

07-03-2010 03:27 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by awsmith4 (Post 906735)

I didn't think of that...maybe she can steal SI from the waiting room of the welfare office

Or spend weekends pretending to shop in the Best Buy TV department.

Kreth

07-03-2010 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 906727)

But can she afford cable with only 100-750 million? :confused:

She'll have to get by with basic cable.
Posted via Mobile Device

icehog3

07-04-2010 09:32 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kreth (Post 906748)

She'll have to get by with basic cable.
Posted via Mobile Device

I guess the rabbit ears don't work anymore, so basic cable is the minimum.

T.G	07-04-2010 09:42 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 907210)

I guess the rabbit ears don't work anymore, so basic cable is the minimum.

She could get a free-to-air satellite system. Once you buy the receiver and dish, all the channels are free. Might even be able to pick up one of those old style 10' dishes off craigslist for cheap.

BTW - anyone haver her number? Rite-Aid is closing out top ramen at 70% off, I wanted to let her know.

icehog3

07-04-2010 10:02 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.G (Post 907221)

She couldn't afford her cell service any more, but I have her snailer.

Kreth

07-04-2010 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.G (Post 907221)

BTW - anyone haver her number? Rite-Aid is closing out top ramen at 70% off, I wanted to let her know.

I don't know her number, but you could shoot her an e-mail: tiger_tamer@gmail.com.
Posted via Mobile Device

icehog3

07-04-2010 10:08 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kreth (Post 907246)

I don't know her number, but you could shoot her an e-mail: tiger_tamer@gmail.com.
Posted via Mobile Device

She had to cancel her internet service, $29.99 a month was eating into her hundred millions too fast.

T.G	07-04-2010 10:43 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 907253)

She had to cancel her internet service, $29.99 a month was eating into her hundred millions too fast.

I think there are some charity internet programs she can apply for.

icehog3

07-04-2010 10:44 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by T.G (Post 907276)

I think there are some charity internet programs she can apply for.

She can use mine if she wants to come by and do some weeding in the backyard.

T.G	07-04-2010 10:48 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 907278)

She can use mine if she wants to come by and do some weeding in the backyard.

That would only work for hanging planters, I head she doesn't like to spend much time on her knees.

Chingas

07-04-2010 11:35 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Damn... You bastards are so cold! It's hard enough to wake up, have her servant slip her tiger, I mean, leopard haired sandals on and actually Walking across 18 wings to get her breakfast. Now you want her to weed?

She's obviously gonna have to settle for a trailer out side of the gulf oil spill zone if she plans on keeping the luxuries she's been used too. Do you think she can boil water on her own? Maybe spend some of that cash on life lessons.

T.G	07-04-2010 11:47 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chingas (Post 907297)

She's obviously gonna have to settle for a trailer out side of the gulf oil spill zone if she plans on keeping the luxuries she's been used too. Do you think she can boil water on her own? Maybe spend some of that cash on life lessons.

How is she going to be able to boil water? I heard she couldn't afford electricity, gas or propane service anymore. She'll have to get one of those funky solar reflector emergency cookers like we sent crates of to Haiti after the earthquake.

Chingas

07-04-2010 11:58 AM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

Remember science class in 5th grade? Sun and tin foil cooks a hot dog. Maybe there's a cool way to boil water. But wait... Stupid me, Tiger keeps the Pots!

T.G	07-04-2010 12:15 PM

Re: Tiger Woods Divorce Settlement?

She won't be able to afford hot dogs, only scrapple.

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