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-   General Discussion (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/forumdisplay.php?f=48)
-   -   Random Advice Thread (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=1979)

Clampdown 10-23-2008 09:14 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
No matter in life, the worst someone can say is no. My dad always instilled that in my life when struggling whether or not I wanted to apply to a certain college, ask a certain girl out etc, whats the worst that can happen, so you might as well give it a shot.

rhdad42 10-23-2008 09:29 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Respect My Authoritah!

MajorCaptSilly 10-23-2008 09:35 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Don't join a forum and tell everyone that you like cake.

MCS

Lucky_Hippo 10-23-2008 09:52 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Never rub another man's rhubarb!



Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden

Steve 10-23-2008 09:58 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Another bit of wisdom that I recieved this past year while stressing over a work project from hell:

"What's the worst they can do to you? THEY (work) can't kill you or take your family from you, but if you keep on stresssing, YOU can do both."

D_A 10-23-2008 10:09 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
I'm not sure who coined this phrase(Confucius maybe?), but I always liked it:

Smoke what you like, like what you smoke.

shvictor 10-23-2008 10:13 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 29501)
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
I need to anonymously post this on my boss's office wall..

GKitty 10-23-2008 10:49 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 29501)
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
This one's going up in my cube... right now! :D

And my current favorite coffemug:

Those who say it cannot be done shouldn't interrupt the people doing it.

Gophernut 10-23-2008 11:03 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Those that think they can, and those who think they can't, are both right.

Wolfgang 10-23-2008 11:03 AM
Re: Random Advise Thread
 
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot

The people who know everything, can't do everything

We dont plan to fail, we fail to plan

St. Lou Stu 10-23-2008 11:07 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Never tell the new chic in HR she has a nice rack.
Even if it is true.
Trust me.
I know.

gettysburgfreak 10-23-2008 12:20 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by replicant_argent (Post 28766)
and for those that don't


PROPER PLANNING PREVENTS PISS POOR PERFORMANCE

Wait, that is 6... I must have missed one....

My poli sci teacher in college said it was the 5 P's

Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance

gettysburgfreak 10-23-2008 12:21 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Everything is negotiable- My dad drilled that one in my head.

kaisersozei 10-23-2008 12:50 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. (George Carlin)

And the wife doesn't like it, but my idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. :D

GKitty 10-23-2008 12:55 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaisersozei (Post 30577)
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

OMG... this is brilliant... I may have to put it on a T-Shirt and give it to a couple of people.

smokeyscotch 10-23-2008 01:27 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Receive any cigar happily. It may be all the person can do at the time.

Call your parents, even if you don't want to. Someday you'll want to, and remember you can't.

:eevis 10-23-2008 02:34 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
When a child, never sniff a magnet just to see what it smells like. Don't ask :lv

My Grandfather used to say "Do you know where sympathy falls in the dictionary, between $h*# and syphills, and I got none of 'em for ya"

And mom's wisdom, "A failure to plan on your part doesn't make it a crisis for me"

Steve 10-23-2008 02:40 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Sage wisdom right there!


Quote:
Originally Posted by smokeyscotch (Post 30645)
Call your parents, even if you don't want to. Someday you'll want to, and remember you can't.

icehog3 10-23-2008 02:44 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 29501)
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by :eevis (Post 30782)

And mom's wisdom, "A failure to plan on your part doesn't make it a crisis for me"
Moms know stuff. :)


It is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

Don't pizz down my back and tell me it's raining.

pnoon 10-23-2008 02:47 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
The glass is ALWAYS half full.

pnoon 10-23-2008 02:49 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Think of the guy of average intelligence. Then realize that half the people in the world are stupider than that guy.
-George Carlin

markem 10-23-2008 02:50 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pnoon (Post 30812)
The glass is ALWAYS half full.
It's not so much half full or half empty as it is the wrong size glass

ahc4353 10-23-2008 02:58 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by smokeyscotch (Post 30645)
........

Call your parents, even if you don't want to. Someday you'll want to, and remember you can't.
That is awesome Tim.


Here's one. My young son sends a text to his older brother that says "say something profound I need a Sr. quote". Reply, "If it's everywhere it's not herpes".

You gotta love older brothers. :D

Gophernut 10-23-2008 03:10 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Always do sober, what you said you were going to do when you were drunk!

Cigarmark 10-23-2008 04:50 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
One man gathers, what another man spills.

Sometimes the cards ain't worth a dime, if you don't lay 'em down.

NCRadioMan 10-23-2008 05:02 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can never pick your friends nose.

icehog3 10-23-2008 05:06 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

lenguamor 10-23-2008 05:25 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Don't s*** where you eat.

lenguamor 10-23-2008 05:32 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Don’t puke on my tortilla chips and tell me it’s salsa.

CeeGar 10-23-2008 05:33 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
It's better to look stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. :D

MajorCaptSilly 10-23-2008 06:29 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Children shouldn't play with dead things.

MCS

kgraybill 10-23-2008 06:49 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Dont tug on supermans cape,
Dont spit in the wind,
Dont pull the mask off ole lone ranger...



Hind site is 20/20 but you might bump into something when using it.

CBI_2 10-23-2008 07:25 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
A truth I remember from my grandmother: "Show me your friends and I'll tell you what kind of person you are."

CBI_2 10-23-2008 08:31 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.



Man who eats prunes, gets good run for money.

jaycarla 10-23-2008 08:45 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 (Post 29501)
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Would you mind having a seminar on this with my 16 year old daughter?


My addition:

If it smells funny don't eat it.

Old Sailor 10-23-2008 08:52 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Don't try this at Home...we're all trained professionals!

CBI_2 10-23-2008 09:00 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Mugen910 10-23-2008 09:07 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Never stay in bed unless you get paid well for it.

Tikihut27 10-25-2008 05:27 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
"Don't look into car headlights and freeze, because you will either get run over or shot." -Bill Watterson as Hobbes

WyoBob 10-25-2008 06:36 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
"Bought right is half-sold". Old cattle buyer's saying.

WyoBob

opus 10-25-2008 07:11 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Surprised I havn't seen this one yet:

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.



Walk softly and carry a big stick.



A friend in need is a friend in deed. Or as we used to say in the summer of love (1967 for you puppies) "A friend with weed is a friend in deed".



Don't bite the hand that feeds you.



One man's ceiling is another man's floor.



The older I get, the smarter my dad becomes. He is the smartest man I know. Virtually eveything he ever told me turned out to be true.

renton20 10-25-2008 09:52 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by opus (Post 34063)


The older I get, the smarter my dad becomes. He is the smartest man I know. Virtually eveything he ever told me turned out to be true.
On that note,

When I was sixteen, my father was the most ignorant man in the world. By the time I reached 21, I was surprised at how much he had learned in five years
-Mark Twain

Steve 10-25-2008 09:56 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
That's amazing, I have had the exact same experience!

Quote:
Originally Posted by renton20 (Post 34346)
On that note,

When I was sixteen, my father was the most ignorant man in the world. By the time I reached 21, I was surprised at how much he had learned in five years
-Mark Twain

SvilleKid 10-25-2008 10:52 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Government that can give you everything can take it all away.

Murphy was an optimist!!!

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. (know this one by personal experience)

ca21455 10-25-2008 11:26 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming in terror like his passengers."

SmokinAFuente 10-26-2008 08:08 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Here is something my Great Grandmother told my little brother when he got in trouble for stuff his "friends" would do.

If you run with the wolves you howl with the wolves.

CBI_2 10-26-2008 08:40 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Your actions are speaking so loudly I can't hear what your saying.

Beauty is only skin-deep but ugly goes to the bone.

Failure teaches success as long as you are willing to learn from it and don't stop trying.

Ignorance can be corrected but stupidity is permanent.

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

Squid 10-26-2008 08:40 AM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill in the same night! :sleep:

ucla695 10-26-2008 06:50 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
:r :r :r

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
- Ben Franklin

av8tor152d 10-26-2008 06:51 PM
Re: Random Advice Thread
 
Taking off is optional, Landing is mandatory.


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