Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(847): Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

Not a good day...

(856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(704): Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light

(517): I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

(609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day




----------------
Now playing: Jake Owen - Something About A Woman
via FoxyTunes

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(818): Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.

I gotta stop looking!!!

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(801): hey, what are you doing tonight?
(646): sleeping, g'night!
(801): but i wanted to see you :(
(646): sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
(646): stop - you have a right hand - use it!

I cant believe I just read every text...lol fml

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

This one is pretty bad...

(817): I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

One last one...

(919): I need help removing her.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

Haahaahaha.... :r

Oooooof.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(954): the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.


They keep gettin better!

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(618): do you remember what downloading p**n with a 14k modem was like?

:r:al

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

I've been addicted to this site ever since crystal showed it to me. LOVE IT

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

:tpd: Some hilarious stuff there!

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

a couple of funny ones:
(810): oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a ****o

(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

(214): I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

and one I have def sent myself in the past:
(970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

been there, done that.....




:lv

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(415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events

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(503): PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
(515): Ur type is ready and willing

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(508): So how was he last night?
(617): Five-minute foot-long.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(406): So, how was the dinner
(1-406): Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(970): Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(310): I understand how i **** in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them :pu

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(208): i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
:r

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

:r:r:r

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(315): covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly




hahahaha

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(419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to d!ck slap a girl.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(212): ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(709): i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

ugh....now I'm addicted to it again....I can't stop

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

Dude!

You're killin me with these!!!

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

:r :r :r

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

:dance: :r

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

I couldn't help but revive this thread...


(321): I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.

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(917): omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
(310): Whats your twitter name

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

I've been looking at this website for the past half hour, I cannot believe I didn't see this earlier :r

(214): I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

:r :r

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(218): No, computers are like whores. moody *****es that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

LOL :r

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(614): Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
(301): but she's really nice

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(541): so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(662): I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
(662): He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
(1-662): You have my attention.

One of my faves :r :r

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(805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(507): I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

(818): Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
(770): I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

Love it.

(419): with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

I'm addicted to this site. It's so damn funny

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

I am too. I look forward to checking for new posts each morning.

Re: Texts From Last Night....a website
 

That is perfect. I think I said that. roffles