Serious question

[PeteSB75]

I am considering shopping for a ring for my girlfriend. I know what cut and setting I will be getting, just unsure how much I should spend. 10% of annual income? Less? More? I just need a general ballpark and, to be blunt, don't trust jack s*#t I hear in jewelry stores.

[Blueface]

I am considering shopping for a ring for my girlfriend. I know what cut and setting I will be getting, just unsure how much I should spend. 10% of annual income? Less? More? I just need a general ballpark and, to be blunt, don't trust jack s*#t I hear in jewelry stores.

I would never view it as a % of what I earn.
Last time I bought an engagement ring was well over 28 yrs ago.
Would do it the very same way again.
Would buy what I can afford, what looks nice, what I think she will like and appreciate.
Screw what anyone says I should or should not spend.

[md4958]

are you more concerned with the size of the ring or the quality of the stone?

How far are you from Springfield, MA? I would recommend the jewler I bought my stone from (I bought the stone first, and then had them make a band for it) I would guess that I saved about 40-50% of the "mall stores"

For an expenditure such as this it might be worth your while. PM me if you would like some more info.

[pnoon]

I would never view it as a % of what I earn.
Last time I bought an engagement ring was well over 28 yrs ago.
Would do it the very same way again.
Would buy what I can afford, what looks nice, what I think she will like and appreciate.Screw what anyone says I should or should not spend.

That says it all.

[dunng]

How far are you from Springfield, MA?

New Haven area, right? :ss

[MedicCook]

Don't go in thinking about how much you should be spending. Look at a lot of rings and get the best deal for the ring that she will like. More is not always better.

[mikeyj23]

my opinion is get exactly what she wants - nothing else you buy (including a house) will be around as long as that ring.
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[Kreth]

You know that whole percentage of salary BS is just marketing for the jewelry companies, right?

[ucla695]

When I bought mine for my wife, I purchased the nicest ring I could afford and something that I knew she would like. :)

[PeteSB75]

New Haven area, right? :ss

Living in Stamford these days. I work in midtown manhattan, so was planning to hit the diamond district for some perusing, at least to start. I also checked out Bluenile.com. Not sure how prices on there compare to what I will get in a store. The mall is not happening. Anything I would find there tends to be extremely overpriced.

I guess I was just looking to make sure that I wasn't spending too little. I know how much I want to spend, and roughly what I want to get, so I guess we'll go from there and see what quality/size stone I can get. The markup on these things kills me though.

[RGD.]

Would buy what I can afford, what looks nice, what I think she will like and appreciate.


Yep.

And you know what - as for the rating of the diamond - unless you are a jeweler with a trained eye using one of those eye thinga ma jiggys - you can't tell and neither can anyone else. So unless you plan on selling it later, get a lower rated larger diamond. More bang for the buck.

You didn't mention - is this an engagement ring? If so, congrats!


Ron

[MedicCook]

And if a woman puts the entire relationship on how big a ring she gets.... well it is usually not a good situation in the long run.

[md4958]

Living in Stamford these days. I work in midtown manhattan, so was planning to hit the diamond district for some perusing, at least to start. I also checked out Bluenile.com. Not sure how prices on there compare to what I will get in a store. The mall is not happening. Anything I would find there tends to be extremely overpriced.

I guess I was just looking to make sure that I wasn't spending too little. I know how much I want to spend, and roughly what I want to get, so I guess we'll go from there and see what quality/size stone I can get. The markup on these things kills me though.


I tried the diamond district with my uncle when I was looking with limited success. I went with my uncle who used to do a lot of business with these people. First issue I had was that these people all tried to sell me crap. I knew exactly what I wanted, and most of these places either didnt listen or didnt have the quality I was demanding. They kept showing me stones that were so crappy, I could see the flecks of black in there with my un-aided eye. (the stone I eventually bought was VVS2, Color F). If you go there make sure you know exactly what you want, as they WILL try to screw the uninformed customer.

The markup on diamonds is like 400-800%, depending on where you purchase it. I tried bluenile too, and found thier prices to be nothing great. I especially dislike the fact of not being able to hold the diamond and see it for my self before I bought.

The jewler I bought my diamond from actually put the stone in a scope, so I could see that it was the exact stone as the certifiacation (you could see the tiny tiny flaws were in the same spots and same shape).

[md4958]

Yep.

And you know what - as for the rating of the diamond - unless you are a jeweler with a trained eye using one of those eye thinga ma jiggys - you can't tell and neither can anyone else. So unless you plan on selling it later, get a lower rated larger diamond. More bang for the buck.

Ron

I respectfully disagree with Ron.

my wifes diamond makes most of her friends stones seem almost yellow, and it sparkles like no-other. I couldnt be happier that i decided to go with quality over size. For the price I paid I could have gotten her a 5 carat piece of crap, but I went with an as-close-to-flawless ( i could afford) 1.5 carat that looks enormous on her thin fingers.

[poker]

You get the best that you can that fits in your budget. Thats the best advice I can give you, and given the current economic situation were all in I suggest you dont get in over your head when purchasing a ring. Remember, its all about what the ring symbolizes, not the size of the stone.

[SeanGAR]

Diamonds are pieces of charcoal that look pretty. Let me be the first to introduce you to the wonder that is diamonique. Four out of five dentists can't tell that it is not real. Get it in a 6 prong solid platinum setting of course, not plated.

http://filebox.vt.edu/users/okeefes/9131_1b.jpg

I'm joking of course, my wife would beat me if I bought her a fake diamond .. and yours probably will too..

I bought a real diamond that wasn't exactly cheap. You want to look at diamonds in a bunch of stores, unset, and learn about what makes them different. Personally, I'd rather one that has a nice cut and is nice size over a smaller one that you can't see any flaw in at less than 20X. Cut = sparkle, and even though they may be the same basic cut, there are huge differences in how they look because diamond cutters are different and work with different pieces of carbon.

Have fun shopping.....

[mosesbotbol]

Buy what you feel comfortable spending. Do not base it on any formula of income or salary- please do not do that!

As for an actual amount, hard to say. I would tell a prince one amount and pauper another...

Do yourself a favor, spend as little as it takes to get the job done. In the scheme of life, a ring is just a material token, your love for your girl is much beyond that. Bigger ring does not mean you love her more.

Any notion that you must sacrifice your salary or financial position (especially in these financially troubling times) to validate your commitment is spawned by the jewelry industry, no one else.

[Blueface]

Oh, and one thing I forgot........
.......always a good thing to know how the state you live in interprets this "gift" should something not work out.
Hope all the best for you but best to be prepared.

[PeteSB75]

Trust me, I won't be getting in over my head on this at all. I will be paying cash for whatever I get.

I have started doing some research on the subject, so I am at least somewhat familiar with the four c's. Cut is out of my hands. We talked about it a little and she let me know roughly what she wanted as far as cut and setting.

She said she'd be happy with a ring out of a gumball machine, so I'll probably get that too... But I want to get her something that I know she will love.

I wanted to go peruse at shops so I could see for myself, in person, what the difference in color and clarity really means in a set stone. How different the stones are to the naked eye.

And yes, this will be an engagement ring, but don't congradulate me until she's actually wearing the thing :ss That will probably be a few months. I'm just planning ahead.

[Raralith]

As many have already said, buy what you can afford. And yes, you can tell a crappy diamond from a good one quite easily. A good quality will almost always be better than a big stone. Personally though, I know a lot of men fear going with their perspective wife ring shopping, but it really is the best way, in my opinion. Here are a few reasons:
1. You're perspective wife knows how much you make, and unless she's more about the rock than you, she'll be more realistic.
2. You never know what women think are beautiful. Never. Don't ever suspect, don't ever guess, and if you do, include a receipt (outside the realm of rings).
3. A ring always looks different on your woman compared to the jeweler trying to show you, on yourself, on a piece of plastic, or staring at it and imaging it on her hand. A ring for one woman doesn't neccessarily look good for another, and a ring like this is something your woman will look at forever. So get something she likes.

Also, my brother in law didn't buy the biggest stone, but when telling my mother, his line was "it's not the biggest, but with her pretty and petitie hands, it'll look big!" I thought that was rather cute.

[mikeyj23]

Also, my brother in law didn't buy the biggest stone, but when telling my mother, his line was "it's not the biggest, but with her pretty and petitie hands, it'll look big!" I thought that was rather cute.

Agreed - my fiance's finger is a size 3.5 so anything more than what she has (1/2 ct center stone, 1 ct total weight ) would look silly.
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[RGD.]

I respectfully disagree with Ron.

my wifes diamond makes most of her friends stones seem almost yellow, and it sparkles like no-other. I couldnt be happier that i decided to go with quality over size. For the price I paid I could have gotten her a 5 carat piece of crap, but I went with an as-close-to-flawless ( i could afford) 1.5 carat that looks enormous on her thin fingers.


Don't get me wrong on this - I'm not saying to get the bottom of the barrel. What I was trying to say and should have added more, is that you could get say a VS1 or 2 in a D or E and maybe even a really good G instead of a VVS1 or 2 - and that nobody could tell without a magnifying glass. Hence the more bang for the buck.


Ron

[Raralith]

Don't get me wrong on this - I'm not saying to get the bottom of the barrel. What I was trying to say and should have added more, is that you could get say a VS1 or 2 in a D or E and maybe even a really good G instead of a VVS1 or 2 - and that nobody could tell without a magnifying glass. Hence the more bang for the buck.

I honestly don't think diamonds should be based on "best bang for the buck" ideal. Diamonds aren't big screen TV's where new technology will replace or may need another in 10 to 20 years. Diamonds shouldn't be thought up as a dollar amount, but simply as a decoration on the ring, a ring that symbolizes being together and forever (property of "X" for me!). Because of this, it should be high quality, but it should be affordable. A smaller size isn't a travesty, but a slightly, even remotely, off color stone is, in my opinion.

Movado has some excellent rings too if you can afford them. I bought my wife's ring there, and honestly, it's pretty amazing. Their quality is top notch, and while there's quite a bit of sticker shock, it was considered affordable for me so I purchased it.

[LasciviousXXX]

Get a tattoo ring... cheaper and lasts longer :D

LOL, just kidding. Color and clarity over size IMO. Also try and find out what style she likes. There are so many styles of rings nowadays from classic to contemporary that the choices are sometimes overwhelming.

If in doubt, take her best friend ring shopping with you :tu

[md4958]

As many have already said, buy what you can afford. And yes, you can tell a crappy diamond from a good one quite easily. A good quality will almost always be better than a big stone. Personally though, I know a lot of men fear going with their perspective wife ring shopping, but it really is the best way, in my opinion. Here are a few reasons:
1. You're perspective wife knows how much you make, and unless she's more about the rock than you, she'll be more realistic.
2. You never know what women think are beautiful. Never. Don't ever suspect, don't ever guess, and if you do, include a receipt (outside the realm of rings).
3. A ring always looks different on your woman compared to the jeweler trying to show you, on yourself, on a piece of plastic, or staring at it and imaging it on her hand. A ring for one woman doesn't neccessarily look good for another, and a ring like this is something your woman will look at forever. So get something she likes.

Also, my brother in law didn't buy the biggest stone, but when telling my mother, his line was "it's not the biggest, but with her pretty and petitie hands, it'll look big!" I thought that was rather cute.

:tpd:

This is all EXCELLENT advice.

[Commander Quan]

I would only shop at an independent jewelry store, where the employees do not work for commission, and stay out of the shops at the malls. The people that work for commission are like sharks, and if you tell them you are searching for a ring it's like blood in the water.

Don't just settle on a ring in the display case. Pick a loose diamond and then a setting she will like.

Diamonds are priced by size. If you looking for a 1 ct. stone go with .92-.95 cts. you will be able to get a better quality stone or else save major $ and no one will be able to tell that it's not a full ct.

[No1der]

I would never view it as a % of what I earn.
Last time I bought an engagement ring was well over 28 yrs ago.
Would do it the very same way again.
Would buy what I can afford, what looks nice, what I think she will like and appreciate.
Screw what anyone says I should or should not spend.

:tpd:
Though I have never bought an engagement ring there is NO WAY I would try and use a math formula based on % of income. IMHO if the girl I would ask to be my wife would think in terms of percentage of my income, a huge flashing red light would go off in my head.

Please don't take this the wrong way but, for me, to even think along those terms seems very cold and unromantic.

There was a girl once that I wanted for my wife, unfortunately it never worked out, and I was thinking about buying an engagement ring and I thought it would be really cool to buy an antique one that was as "one of a kind" as I could afford.

Anyway, I hope that this post maybe gave you some ideas about alternatives i.e. the antique diamond route.

Best of luck to you and please let us know what she says when you ask her the big question.

Cheers,
Rob

[GKitty]

As a chick, I feel obligated to put in my :2 .

However, my brothers, you've covered all the bases marvelously which leaves me very little to add other than my personal opinion and a brief anecdote.

There's a reason women refer to them as "sparklies". When talking about rings, we talk about settings, styles, and metals, because it's assumed: whatever size/shape the stone is it will be high quality. I've never said to myself, I'll compromise on quality for a bigger stone. I've only heard two women express disappoinment about their engagement rings. One was disappointed in the size of the center stone. The other felt her ring was missing what she called the "kachow!" factor. The first managed to get 4 size "upgrades" on her engagment ring (trading in the "old" one for a bigger one, and yes I mean 4 seperate transactions) and was divorced before they celebrated their 1st anniversary. The second had a very uncomfortable conversation about the situation with her fiance after which they went shopping for a different ring. Now, it's a smaller stone but much more brilliant... and the "kachow!" factor is definitely there.

With all this wonderful advice on what to look for, I'm certain you'll do fine.

[PeteSB75]

Thanks all for the advice/kind words.

The percentage question was my own. I also would not be considering marrying a woman who was looking for a certain size/cost ring.

As far as the quality over quantity, I was feeling that way in any case, but the reinforcement is good. I was looking in a D, E or F color and VS1 or higher clarity. I have a set price range, so whatever size I can get in that range will be the size.

[chippewastud79]

Spend what you can afford, don't over extend yourself on a diamond. If she is that in love with you the diamond won't matter.

I agree, color and clarity over carat. Another thing to keep in mind (based on the chart talked about below) a .99 carat is significantly cheaper than a 1.0 carat, each step up in size can be $1000 more per carat.

In my opinion, do not take her with you. Have an idea of the cut (round, princess, heart etc.), band (simple, design) and style (solitare, three stone, baguettes etc.) and pick out what you think she will like, you'll probably be right. It should be something you pick out on your own and again, if she loves you that much the actuall ring won't matter.

If you go to a store, and a guy pulls out a piece of paper and starts punching the numbers off of it into a calculator and then multiplying it and starts to subtract the "discounts". Ask them to see the sheet of paper they are working with, most of the time it is the standard pricing chart, they likely will decline to show it to you.

The international prices for diamonds based on the 4 C's are pre-established every month at basically what is knows as MSRP. Each jeweler will get a copy of this sheet and is supposed to adjust their prices accordingly. It is basically a giant spreadsheet that shows a grid of the price per carat for different colors, cuts and clarity.

What they typically do however is take that sheet and the diamond you are looking at and then double the price (or more), then show you the calculator and give you the special customer discount and give you 40% off or whatever and that is still above what you should be paying.

Basically it is a huge pharse. Like my jeweler told me, "Never pay retail for diamonds, because they are always jacking the **** out of their prices."

[mosesbotbol]

The international prices for diamonds based on the 4 C's are pre-established every month at basically what is knows as MSRP. Each jeweler will get a copy of this sheet and is supposed to adjust their prices accordingly. It is basically a giant spreadsheet that shows a grid of the price per carat for different colors, cuts and clarity.

Are these sheets published on the web anywhere? Even a recent previous month would be a great guide.

[chippewastud79]

Are these sheets published on the web anywhere? Even a recent previous month would be a great guide.

I am not sure, I believe they are only for diamond retailers. Let me see if I can get ahold of my jeweler real quick and see what they name of the sheet is and possibly search it. :lv

Edit: The name of the report is called the Rapaport Diamond Report and is a subscription report that must be purchased by diamond retailers. You can find a few sites on the internet, but they all seemed to have the actual pricing sheet password protected.

Ask a jeweler to show it to you, it isn't too hard to interpret but you might need your own calculator to punch in the numbers because the prices are a price per karat.

[Commander Quan]

Are these sheets published on the web anywhere? Even a recent previous month would be a great guide.

http://www.srdiamond.com.tw/jewelry/report_update/round.pdf

This is for one cut but you can use it as a guide

edit: after looking at this thing I have no idea how to read it

[mosesbotbol]

http://www.srdiamond.com.tw/jewelry/report_update/round.pdf

This is for one cut but you can use it as a guide

edit: after looking at this thing I have no idea how to read it

What does D-M stand for? I do not understand the pricing part? I am looking at the (.90-.99) for instance.

[Commander Quan]

ok I think I got it. The letters on the side are the color. The code across the top is the clarity where they meet is the price in 100s of dollars.

[chippewastud79]

What does D-M stand for? I do not understand the pricing part? I am looking at the (.90-.99) for instance.

ok I think I got it. The letters on the side are the color. The code across the top is the clarity where they meet is the price in 100s of dollars.

Yes the letters down the side are the color, the letters/numbers across the top are the clarity and the numbers are $100's so for instance an F, VS1 at .92 carats would be $5980 ($6500 x .92 carats).

Note the difference in prices between .90-.99 and 1.0-1.49 for the same color and clarity of diamonds, thats why I said the differences between a .99 and a 1.0 are so drastic. :o

[Commander Quan]

found one more

http://srdiamond.com.tw/jewelry/report_update/pear.pdf

the prices are a bit different between the 2 shapes

[ade06]

my opinion is get exactly what she wants - nothing else you buy (including a house) will be around as long as that ring.
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:tpd:

[tsolomon]

I married the jeweler's daughter and my wife and her father picked out her diamond, but I did get to pay for it. Since my father in-law and brother in-law were jewelers, here’s what I have picked up over the years. Cut, color and clarity is what we always hear is important when picking out a diamond. My wife says that the cut is what makes a diamond sparkle by catching the light. If it doesn’t sparkle and reflect the light, keep looking. Diamonds should be colorless or clear, but you will need to compare them side by side to see the difference. Clarity is based on the natural inclusions or defects in the stone that can be seen with a 10X loupe. If you can't see the defects without a loupe, then cut and color should come first.

If you go with a yellow gold band, consider a white gold mounting so that it doesn't impact the color. An oval cut will look bigger than a round cut of the same carat weight. Picking out a diamond from loose diamonds will allow you to evaluate the actual diamonds; preset stones are much harder to judge. Normal markup on most jewelry is 3 to 4 times the cost.

The bottom line is to figure out what you want to spend and start looking. Make sure that you view the diamond under different lighting conditions so you can see how it sparkles because this is what everyone will notice when it’s on her finger.

[JE3146]

First thing to consider.

Is she going to be staring at this thing and ridiculing any imperfections? If no, then focus on Cut and Color.

Get a near colorless diamond. Like D, E or F on the color chart.

Get a great cut. This is gonna vary.

Make sure to get the style she wants. I knew my fiance wanted Princess cut, so my choices were easy.



So then it boils down to Clarity and Size.

If she's a nitpicky person, focus on clarity.

If she's not gonna stare at it under a 10x loupe then you can tone down clarity to either a VS2 or an SI1 or SI2. Another cool one is finding an I1 with diamond crystals in it. Some I1's have spots on them, dark spots or pits, but every now and then you'll come across one with the crystals in it which can even add to sparkle. The one I got my fiance was an I1 with diamond crystals and the inclusion was only visible by the naked eye in pure sunlight looking at it from underneath. (as in, once it was set, it vanishes).

Another very important thing to focus on is the size of her fingers! A half carat diamond on tiny hands will look MASSIVE. My fiance has tiny hands. I looked like the stud of the century getting her a half carat. It looked far bigger than it actually was.


One thing a lot of people lose focus on is the band you put it in. I chose an English style solitaire setup that was very simple. It was incredibly gorgeous and still over a year from the engagement, my fiance gets at least 3 to 4 compliments on it a week at the hospital she works at.

There's a TON of variables. Don't be afraid to shop around. But DO come educated to wherever you go and do come with at least a budget to stick to, and an idea of what type of band you want to go with.

[Raralith]

Honestly, all the above ideas are great, but if you want to save yourself a lot of trouble, try a botique. Movado, Tiffany's, Cartier, etc... pretty much only carry high quality diamonds. Yeah, it's expensive, but you know it's high quality. If someone says ask your wife, "What a nice ring," all they need to reply is, "It's a Movado/Tiffany/Cartier," and most women would drool.

[chippewastud79]

Oh, and by the way. For mounting metals, I suggest paladium for something that is white. White gold turns yellow over in time and platinum scratches very easily. A lot of jewelers won't know what paladium is, but it is a precious metal like the other two but looks whiter and brighter than platinum and cost about 1/2 the price. :tu

[ade06]

Last thing, if you plan on completely surprising her without any imput from her regarding the setting, get the cheapest simple setting you can find. After she says YES, the two of you can look for a new setting together, and that way she can get exactly what she wants and you can still surprise her without having to guess which type of fancy setting she might like. Good luck!!!

[chippewastud79]

Honestly, all the above ideas are great, but if you want to save yourself a lot of trouble, try a botique. Movado, Tiffany's, Cartier, etc... pretty much only carry high quality diamonds. Yeah, it's expensive, but you know it's high quality. If someone says ask your wife, "What a nice ring," all they need to reply is, "It's a Movado/Tiffany/Cartier," and most women would drool.

Skip the boutique, you are paying for the box and the bow. It is worthless to pay for a name when you can get a better quality diamond at 1/3rd of the price. And, no, the diamonds you are paying for aren't neccessarily higher quality they are just way more expensive. In reality you could say the ring was made by the same jeweler who made some famous wife's ring and no one would ever know. Other girls will be impressed if the ring sparkles and looks nice, not by a name. :2

[Raralith]

Skip the boutique, you are paying for the box and the bow. It is worthless to pay for a name when you can get a better quality diamond at 1/3rd of the price. And, no, the diamonds you are paying for aren't neccessarily higher quality they are just way more expensive. In reality you could say the ring was made by the same jeweler who made some famous wife's ring and no one would ever know. Other girls will be impressed if the ring sparkles and looks nice, not by a name. :2

Ever walk in a Tiffany's or Cartier? They don't carry anything cheap, price or diamond wise, and yes, you pay a premium for the name. Yes, you could say that, "Oh, my wifes ring was made by Cartier," and no one would know. Except your wife. And your wife will kill you for that. I've also never seen a real Cartier that is not sparkly, ever.

Maybe the women in the thread understand, but if two chicks are talking, and one says "Tiffany," the other ones eyes open wide (normally).

[Cigarcop]

I didn't read the thru the last pages, but heres my take on it.

"Buy the ring you'd be happy with getting as if it was being bought for you".

[chippewastud79]

Ever walk in a Tiffany's or Cartier? They don't carry anything cheap, price or diamond wise, and yes, you pay a premium for the name. Yes, you could say that, "Oh, my wifes ring was made by Cartier," and no one would know. Except your wife. And your wife will kill you for that. I've also never seen a real Cartier that is not sparkly, ever.

Maybe the women in the thread understand, but if two chicks are talking, and one says "Tiffany," the other ones eyes open wide (normally).

Yes, I have been in Tiffany and Cartier and the rings in there cost 5 times as much as they should. If your wife/fiance/girlfriend is that caught up on a name and impressing her friends by name dropping and not a nicer ring then get a second mortgage and buy a ring that costs $50K when you could buy it for $10K on your own. You are paying for the name the box and the bow, nothing else, the rings are no higher quality than what you could buy from a respectable jeweler. But I guess in this material world we live in the name on the box is more important than the fact that it is something you picked out yourself and put the time and effort into buying or the love you are giving it to her with. :rolleyes:

[Raralith]

One of my friends found information here:
http://www.pricescope.com/

He said it definately helped him in the price/diamond realm.