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MedicCook
01-27-2009, 10:05 PM
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.

GKitty
01-27-2009, 10:16 PM
*printing off a list to take to work*

:r

Thank you!

*Note: Post # 500. In the Jokes forum. How appropriate.

jamesb3
01-27-2009, 11:52 PM
:rI'm gonna do these at my Grandmothers senior highrise. What a hoot!:r:r

icehog3
01-27-2009, 11:56 PM
Two people on an elevator, one farts, everybody knows who did it.

Apologies to George Carlin. :)

karmaz00
01-28-2009, 10:15 AM
lol good one

Kreth
01-28-2009, 10:54 AM
Two people on an elevator, one farts, everybody knows who did it.

Apologies to George Carlin. :)

It's all about the timing. You fart as you're getting off on your floor. (most effective if you can do it just as the doors are closing) :r

AD720
01-28-2009, 10:56 AM
It's all about the timing. You fart as you're getting off on your floor. (most effective if you can do it just as the doors are closing) :r

:tpd:

a/k/a "Cropdusting"

markem
01-28-2009, 11:30 AM
If you are alone in the elevator, face the back corner with legs slightly spread. When the next person goes to get on, act surprised, say "sorry" and turn back around, checking to make sure your fly is closed.

Amazing reactions.