It's a sad day. . . [Archive] - Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum

montecristo#2

01-25-2009, 08:59 PM

As some of you who know I am a mod at another forum we all used to call home and while I do not post as much on here, I usually browse and do a lot more reading.

Today, one of the mods and a guy I consider a friend had to step down as he no longer wanted to be caught in the middle. I don't blame him for making the decision, it is really difficult when it feels like you are on opposite sides of the table from people you consider to be friends.

Then, I find out one of the nicest people you would ever meet was actually threatened. A guy who has sent at least 200 people fiver finger bags through numerous group buys he has taken the time to set up. Just the thought of people giving him negative comments disgusts me. I even logged onto here today to see someone left me a neg comment. I believe in the 2+ years I have been on cigar forums, it was only my second neg comment.

It is very sad for me that as of right now, I would rather send someone a pm through facebook than through a cigar forum. It almost brings tears to my eyes.

I understand people are still very upset with what happened and I don't blame them, but we all have one thing in common, we love this hobby/passion. We are all cigar and pipe smokers, we should not be enemies.

As I sit outside smoking a cigar while writing this on my phone, I really do not know what to do or say. It is a troubling time for many people for many different reasons outside of which cigar forum is better. I am normally a very private person and do not post things like this, but I tend to get a little emotional when I smoke cigars (must be due to the nicotine). :D

Thank you for reading

Genetic Defect

01-25-2009, 09:00 PM

As some of you who know I am a mod at another forum we all used to call home and while I do not post as much on here, I usually browse and do a lot more reading.

Today, one of the mods and a guy I consider a friend had to step down as he no longer wanted to be caught in the middle. I don't blame him for making the decision, it is really difficult when it feels like you are on opposite sides of the table from people you consider to be friends.

Then, I find out one of the nicest people you would ever meet was actually threatened. A guy who has sent at least 200 people fiver finger bags through numerous group buys he has taken the time to set up. Just the thought of people giving him negative comments disguses me. I even logged onto here today to see someone left me a neg comment. I believe in the 2+ years I have been on cigar forums, it was only my second neg comment.

It is very sad for me that as of right now I would rather send someone a pm through facebook than through a cigar forum. It almost brings tears to my eyes.

I understand people are still very upset with what happened and I don't blame them, but we all have one thing in common, we love this hobby/passion. We are all cigar and pipe smokers, we should not be enemies.

As I sit outside smoking a cigar while writing this on my phone, I really do not know what to do or say. It is a troubling time for many people for many different reasons outside of which cigar forum is better. I am normally a very private person and do not post things like this, but I tend to get a little emotional when I smoke cigars (must be due to the nicotine). :DThank you for reading.
I'm there for you on facebook :tu

No1der

01-25-2009, 09:02 PM

Well, I hear where you're coming from and I wish I had something to tell you other than power corrupts and the illusion of absolute power turns people into J***offs.

Anyway, if you're curious in my little story just check out my sig and you'll see why I said what I said.

Cheers,
Rob

Genetic Defect

01-25-2009, 09:04 PM

architeuthis

01-25-2009, 09:27 PM

No1der

01-25-2009, 09:41 PM

no wonder you are over here

Well, I signed up here prior to my ban but didn't really start posting all that much since I only signed up yesterday and RL has been keeping me busy.

Cheers,
Rob

Da Klugs

01-25-2009, 10:01 PM

This whole thing will settle down shortly. All the migrating and fluttering people will find their new homes and the "teen angst" will become an event of the past.

It is pretty sad that some people are getting out of hand, but again I don't think it'll last too long.

You are wise sir. Change is hard for most. It's a downward level of interboard BS from here forward. Tables are set, most folks are seated at their preferred one by now. I look forward to a happier relationship with them as their new environement gels and the paranoia decreases allowing more varied conversation.

Montecristo#2 it cuts both ways on comments. Got a scathing nasty RG comment there a few weeks ago from a senior member I consider at minimum "friendly". Chalk it up to the heated times and we all have better ones in front of us. It's part of the job and a bigger part in times of upheaval. No excuses or tolerance for threats though. Got a few there, kept and dealt with it there, but completely understand the feelings involved.

Being a mod there is not what most expect looking at it from the outside. Thankless janitorial duty for the most part. In that.. it's not a whole lot different than here. The big difference, and the one that has caused the noise is simple.. we got a fresh start here..easier, it is, and has stayed what it was stated to be from day 1. There, much change and evolving representations has taken place so it's understandable that the level of noise is much greater. New guy having to affect change and a new mod team to help shepard it... made it all the harder. You guys did good work it's the situation not your efforts.

Take a break from the boards, smoke a few, snuggle with the one you love and come back with a better perspective... these are just silly little cigar boards that we all at times take to seriously.

shilala

01-25-2009, 10:05 PM

I'm sorry to hear you're upset. I'm sure it'll all pass, and I honestly wish it'd not happened.
I'm not sure why any of you guys hopped on the opportunity to deal with what CS has become. I'm sure you've got your own reasons, and I imagine they're dear to you, hoping maybe you could do the place some good.
Why you're still there is beyond me, though.
When you're done taking a beating, I'm sure all the guys here would love to have you. :tu

No1der

01-25-2009, 10:07 PM

You are wise sir. Change is hard for most. It's a downward level of interboard BS from here forward. Tables are set, most folks are seated at their preferred one by now. I look forward to a happier relationship with them as their new environement gels and the paranoia decreases allowing more varied conversation.

Montecristo#2 it cuts both ways on comments. Got a scathing nasty RG comment there a few weeks ago from a senior member I consider at minimum "friendly". Chalk it up to the heated times and we all have better ones in front of us. It's part of the job and a bigger part in times of upheaval. No excuses or tolerance for threats though. Got a few there, kept and dealt with it there, but completely understand the feelings involved.

Being a mod there is not what most expect looking at it from the outside. Thankless janitorial duty for the most part. In that.. it's not a whole lot different than here. The big difference, and the one that has caused the noise is simple.. we got a fresh start here..easier, it is, and has stayed what it was stated to be from day 1. There, much change and evolving representations has taken place so it's understandable that the level of noise is much greater. New guy having to affect change and a new mod team to help shepard it... made it all the harder. You guys did good work it's the situation not your efforts.

Take a break from the boards, smoke a few, snuggle with the one you love and come back with a better perspective... these are just silly little cigar boards that we all at times take to seriously.

Although I do not agree with what you say, I will fight to the death to defend your right to say it good sir.

Nah, I'm just kindding, you're mostly right and your words are wise. Though I'm still kinda heated and it's hard for me to say that I agree with everything you say but in reality if I weren't hot right now I would most likely agree with 99% of your words.

Glad to be here, glad to be a Silverback and I'm thrilled there are no pictures of fish here.

Cheers,
Rob

JKim

01-25-2009, 10:31 PM

Aaron... thanks for the kind words. Enjoy the cigar. I hope it puts you in a better mood.

dvickery

01-25-2009, 10:44 PM

these are just silly little cigar boards that we all at times take to seriously.

wisdom...if i could figger out how to give you ring guage i would :D .

derrek

MedicCook

01-25-2009, 10:46 PM

wisdom...if i could figger out how to give you ring guage i would :D .

derrek

Click on the http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/reputation.gif in his post.

dvickery

01-25-2009, 11:04 PM

Click on the http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/images/buttons/reputation.gif in his post.

the ring guage comment was said with tongue firmly in cheak...ironic/laconic humour or whatever.thanks for showing me how tho.

daves was such a good line i am going to repeat it tho.

these are just silly little cigar boards that we all at times take to seriously.

bobarian

01-26-2009, 12:23 AM

Aaron, It must be difficult for you. I understand your passion and desire to make the best of the situation. Threats and negative comments may spawn from the emotions of the situation but really have no place among true BOTL's.
Unfortunately, not all who come to cigar forums share your's and Dave's spirit.
Hopefully things will settle down with time and passions will be replaced with the PIF attitude we all have learned. Stay strong and know that you are supported by friends here. :salute:

montecristo#2

01-26-2009, 12:26 AM

smokinj

01-26-2009, 12:37 AM

Keep your chin up bro, much better days ahead:)

icehog3

01-26-2009, 12:50 AM

Aaron, you and I have traveled down the road together in the past, and I hope we will continue to do so in the future. You are a good man, and I know that you are doing what you feel is for the best in what I see as a tough situation. Alluding to what Dave said, at the end of the day these cigars forums should be a source of enjoyment and relaxation for both the members and the mods. I hope you will find both, wherever you hang your hat.

Threats are unacceptable. Why someone would threaten another over a cigar forum is beyond me....the couple threats I received at CS I chalked up to "internet tough guys"....I doubt any of them would have had the balls to say it to my face.

I hope we get a chance to both Cyberherf and to herf together in 2009.

doctorcue

01-26-2009, 12:51 AM

Dave did say it right regarding snuggling & all that. We become emotionally attached to these boards with all of the friendships we make & time we put into our hobby. Yet; we sometimes need to step back and realize what everything is about. Friends, sanity, & a tasty treat. I hope you post up here more often (since most of the Bay crew is on here) and herf with ya soon.

You missed a great duet @ Bob's last night. :r Times like that is what cigars are about.

No1der

01-26-2009, 12:54 AM

I'm not suggesting that anyone out anybody but I am curious what the nature of the threat was. This is the first I'm hearing of this.

Cheers,
Rob

Da Klugs

01-26-2009, 01:08 AM

I'm not suggesting that anyone out anybody but I am curious what the nature of the threat was. This is the first I'm hearing of this.

Cheers,
Rob

Posted yesterday in your favorite thread. :D

http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showpost.php?p=189277&postcount=641

Assumed to have happened there. No public details were given. Not even sure if it was posted publicly there but it was here. I read the inference as it was someone here but no direct accusations were made. Personal threats are not tolerated anywhere. Worse when it's towards the volunteer unpaid janitorial staff who take the heat without a slice of the meat.

No1der

01-26-2009, 01:17 AM

Posted yesterday in your favorite thread. :D

http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showpost.php?p=189277&postcount=641

Assumed to have happened there. No public details were given. Not even sure if it was posted publicly there but it was here. I read the inference as it was someone here but no direct accusations were made. Personal threats are not tolerated anywhere. Worse when it's towards the volunteer unpaid janitorial staff who take the heat without a slice of the meat.

Well, that is absolutely 100% wrong. Sounds like someone isn't all that stable if they are threatening someones family or personal safety over a website.

If it were a threat against the website itself it still wouldn't be right but I can certainly see certain groups doing that (not that that is right either) but threatening a mod/person should be reported to the police.

Cheers,
Rob

Don Fernando

01-26-2009, 02:55 AM

people being threathened is never ok, but if Blaylock recieved some negative feedback then he probably deserved it. He gave me infractions for being unrespectful but at the same time he was calling me names. How's that for abusing the powers that you have as a mod?

Ok, this is the only thing I will say about this on CA, as I don't want to start any inter-board war. CA is my home now like CS was my home before all the changes. And (tongue in cheek) I feel like a fish in the water here ;)

kayak_rat

01-26-2009, 07:02 AM

We support you Aaron......on the boards or Facebook.

Skywalker

01-26-2009, 07:26 AM

I usually stay away from anything controversial but wrong is wrong!

Most of us joined for the pure enjoyment of the leaf and to gain a little knowledge. It's a big community and small (immature) people are threatened by big things!!!

"That's all I'm gonna say about that!!!"

Blueface

01-26-2009, 07:41 AM

Threats are unacceptable. Why someone would threaten another over a cigar forum is beyond me....the couple threats I received at CS I chalked up to "internet tough guys"....I doubt any of them would have had the balls to say it to my face.

Words more true have never been spoken. If they do say it to your face, check first to see if they happen to be blind.

Sad indeed when folks take things so seriously to threaten someone's family or well being.
Fortunately, the majority of times, they are just words not followed by actions.
The frightening part is knowing when they are just more than words.

Scottw

01-26-2009, 07:51 AM

You are wise sir. Change is hard for most. It's a downward level of interboard BS from here forward. Tables are set, most folks are seated at their preferred one by now. I look forward to a happier relationship with them as their new environement gels and the paranoia decreases allowing more varied conversation.

Montecristo#2 it cuts both ways on comments. Got a scathing nasty RG comment there a few weeks ago from a senior member I consider at minimum "friendly". Chalk it up to the heated times and we all have better ones in front of us. It's part of the job and a bigger part in times of upheaval. No excuses or tolerance for threats though. Got a few there, kept and dealt with it there, but completely understand the feelings involved.

Being a mod there is not what most expect looking at it from the outside. Thankless janitorial duty for the most part. In that.. it's not a whole lot different than here. The big difference, and the one that has caused the noise is simple.. we got a fresh start here..easier, it is, and has stayed what it was stated to be from day 1. There, much change and evolving representations has taken place so it's understandable that the level of noise is much greater. New guy having to affect change and a new mod team to help shepard it... made it all the harder. You guys did good work it's the situation not your efforts.

Take a break from the boards, smoke a few, snuggle with the one you love and come back with a better perspective... these are just silly little cigar boards that we all at times take to seriously.

Well put Klugs, I always feel a little wiser after reading your words. (or maybe it's the booze).

SeanGAR

01-26-2009, 08:01 AM

Negs, who cares.

Threats ... well, that just rots my bag.

Needless to say, the person making the threats is a loser who assuredly has been the victim of atomic wedgies many times, perhaps recently.

Redbaron

01-26-2009, 08:08 AM

[QUOTE=icehog3;191491]
Threats are unacceptable. Why someone would threaten another over a cigar forum is beyond me....the couple threats I received at CS I chalked up to "internet tough guys"....I doubt any of them would have had the balls to say it to my face.

QUOTE]

I backed mine up! :tg

Da Klugs

01-26-2009, 08:10 AM

Negs, who cares.

Threats ... well, that just rots my bag.

Needless to say, the person making the threats is a loser who assuredly has been the victim of atomic wedgies many times, perhaps recently.

:D Hope they dealt with it swiftly and justly.

rizzle

01-26-2009, 08:29 AM

My two cents...I wouldn't waste any time being concerned over receiving a threat off an internet cigar board. I also think that for whoever sent it that it is one of the most childish, classless, ridiculous, and meaningless things that anyone could take the time to do.

Some people need to grow up. And some never do.

SilverFox

01-26-2009, 08:43 AM

If the threat was of a personal and violent nature I think it should be 100% reported to the police. Any kind of threat of violence has no place in today's society never mind over the interactions on an open forum. 99.9% of the time the threat is as Tom says not having any merit nor will to back it in person. But that other 0.1% of the time **** happens. If people are held responsible for their words then perhaps they will think before uttering or typing them. I would take any personal threat against me or my family very seriously regardless of source.

I may not agree with the board and its owner and as such spend my time here but I hold the Mods over there in respect for the thankless job that they do under trying circumstances.

I apologize to you from the rest of humanity for the actions of whoever threatened you.

icehog3

01-26-2009, 10:27 AM

LasciviousXXX

01-26-2009, 01:47 PM

Aaron, you know I love you brother and its never easy to see a friend caught in the crossfire. Unfortunately that seems to be the case lately as more and more of our friends find themselves in a position where they feel they need to take sides.

The ironic part is that no one needs to do anything they don't feel like doing. If they like it here, rock on, if they like it there, have it. If they like both places, more power to ya! While I don't agree with many things going on past/present and future over there, I voice my opinion by not contributing. That's all I have really.

I feel the the most empathy for my friends caught between both places. Just know, that its never an us or them thing with me brother. Call me anytime.

Nick

01-26-2009, 03:37 PM

I was an active member of the CS pipe forums. After the change it just isn't quite right, I still contribute on that board but this feels like home to me and I want to help this board grow and prosper.

shilala

01-26-2009, 03:58 PM

Well said, Dustin.
I'd just like to point out that no one is "caught" anywhere.
All 11 of the 11 pulled the plug and walked when CS became less than savory. About 1500 guys followed, me included.
It's as simple as pulling the plug, Aaron.
No one needs the cross forum drama, it's not helping anyone. I know you're trying to help at CS and have the best of intentions, but if you're hurting yourself and helping perpetuate the drama, who are you helping?
Rip the friggin plug out and come hang with your brothers here who love you, want your company, and appreciate your contributions.
Your other option is to stay there, take a beating, be unappreciated and threatened.
It feels like an easy decision to me, and your presence here would certainly be a positive asset to CA.
I'm sure you don't owe Pvff or Caputo anything, and he'll likely have a far easier transition without our CS brothers trying to "smooth the waters".
I've thought from day one that taking new mods from the membership at CS was a bad idea because they'd carry the CS philosophy along with them. The CS philosophy is not one that's going to fit into Jon's vision. It simply can't. It's not a bad thing that it doesn't fit, it's just a fact.
Trying to hang on to the "old way" and incorporate it into the "pvff way" only adds grief, drama, controversy, and hits. It serves Jon's vision at the cost of friendships, and his bottom line increases.

I shudder every time I see one of these threads here because it costs bad feelings and tears off old scabs. Caputo made this mess and benefits from each one of these dramatic outpourings. Every time it happens, hard feelings erupt and friendships are taxed or destroyed, yet Jon benefits through increased traffic, which is all he needs to succeed.
It's not my place to ask, but I hope you'll keep the pvff drama at pvff and not hog this place up with it.
In turn, I'll promise not to hog pvff up with the internal drama that happen here (not that we have any).
I hope you'll hang out with us and make this your home whether you decide to stay on there or not. I sure don't agree with your decision to help Jon out, but I certainly respect it. I hope you'll respect this place by keeping his trash there and spending your quality time with us. :tu
That'd be good for every single one of us, I think. :)

icehog3

01-26-2009, 04:02 PM

It's not my place to ask, but I hope you'll keep the pvff drama at pvff and not hog this place up with it.
In turn, I'll promise not to hog pvff up with the internal drama that happen here (not that we have any).
I hope you'll hang out with us and make this your home whether you decide to stay on there or not. I sure don't agree with your decision to help Jon out, but I certainly respect it. I hope you'll respect this place by keeping his trash there and spending your quality time with us. :tu
That'd be good for every single one of us, I think. :)

Subliminal message for my temporary anger, Scott? ;)

shilala

01-26-2009, 10:41 PM

Subliminal message for my temporary anger, Scott? ;)
No Tom-specific hoggage impressed or implied, my brother. :D
I haven't even been keeping up with all the goings on. My attention span really sucks nowadays. hehe :)

montecristo#2

01-26-2009, 11:40 PM

Aaron, you and I have traveled down the road together in the past, and I hope we will continue to do so in the future. You are a good man, and I know that you are doing what you feel is for

I hope we get a chance to both Cyberherf and to herf together in 2009.

I will drink or I mean smoke to that. Sorry about the email the other day, I hope it did not catch you off guard. Life has been a wee bit stressful lately. :D

We support you Aaron......on the boards or Facebook.

I will say one thing, if my bosses are on facebook during the day at work, I don't think they can really get made a me if I am as well. :D

Aaron, you know I love you brother and its never easy to see a friend caught in the crossfire. Unfortunately that seems to be the case lately as more and more of our friends find themselves in a position where they feel they need to take sides. . .

Thanks Dustin - I will send you a note through one of these places tomorrow when I have some more time.

It's as simple as pulling the plug, Aaron. . . It's not my place to ask, but I hope you'll keep the pvff drama at pvff and not hog this place up with it.

While I respectfully disagree with some of the stuff in your post, it was well thought out and I do appreciate that. I have a lot of friends on this forum, that is why I continue to browse, read and post from time to time.