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pnoon
03-13-2017, 01:52 PM
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; itís highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in itís proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, ďI hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If youíve heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally...
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

AdamJoshua
03-13-2017, 01:56 PM
ar ar ar

CigarNut
03-13-2017, 02:14 PM
:r :r

Porch Dweller
03-13-2017, 03:32 PM
:D

dave
03-13-2017, 03:39 PM
No. 1 should have been:
1. And too many words means few here are actually going to read it


I did get to number 3, however

markem
03-13-2017, 04:38 PM
Butt remember which speling counts for.

DMK
03-13-2017, 05:43 PM
I always say... "The more I write, the less they read"

icehog3
03-14-2017, 10:36 AM
At work we had to kick back reports that needed corrections.

One of my sergeants posted one of the two funniest I ever saw:

"Check spelling and grammer". :D

BigAsh
03-14-2017, 10:43 AM
Brilliant!!