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Steve
01-09-2017, 07:14 AM
A good pun is its own reword.

Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

Dijon vu: The same mustard as before.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.



I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

cmitch
01-09-2017, 08:35 PM
This post was more like deja doo. Like you've heard this sh, uh, crap before.

Steve
01-11-2017, 09:18 AM
I attempted being a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

dvickery
01-11-2017, 01:40 PM
A bun is the lowest form of wheat :) .

Derrek

Stick
01-11-2017, 08:17 PM
Did you hear about the guy who entered the pun contest? There was no limit on entries, so he wrote all the puns he could think of, came up with ten. He figuring that'd give him a better chance of winning, but as it turned out no pun in ten did.

Steve
01-13-2017, 06:09 AM
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but didn't have any patience.

cmitch
01-14-2017, 10:09 AM
I once told a Catholic I picked my belly button for Lint.

cmitch
01-14-2017, 10:11 AM
Did you hear about the epileptic cleptic? Folks called him shake and take.

Steve
01-16-2017, 12:31 PM
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

G G
01-16-2017, 01:09 PM
I once.......................nevermind!!!!

Steve
01-17-2017, 06:57 AM
Managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

Dry erase boards are remarkable.

Steve
01-18-2017, 06:56 AM
I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Steve
01-19-2017, 06:46 AM
I got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.

Steve
05-17-2017, 08:37 AM
Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race? They ended up in a tie.