The joys of being a Non Commissioned Officer...

[Darrell]

Ahhhh, THE NCO corps. The Corps within the U.S. Military that most aspire to belong to, well sometimes I wish I had remained an Airman. Today was one of those days.

I got an e-mail saying at 0645 on Saturday morning, I am tasked to be the administrator of a mass urinalysis for all male students coming back from exodus leave. That's 600+ young men.

What does all this mean? I get to stare at the male genitalia all day on Saturday to make sure they are pissing in a cup with their junk and not some rubber dong spraying apple juice.

They think I am grumpy Monday thru Friday, **** they have not seen anything yet.

Oh boy, I thought Christmas only came once a year. [/sarcasm]

[Ace$nyper]

See if the gay bird man can spot you that day!

I hope they have an eye wash station handy :(

[Genetic Defect]

:r:r

[shvictor]

This thread is just too easy..

[Genetic Defect]

This thread is just too easy..

So is Darrell :r

[shvictor]

I have to wonder if this will be the first time Darrell has seen a rubber dong spraying apple juice.:hm:hm

[md4958]

Ahhhh, THE NCO corps. The Corps within the U.S. Military that most aspire to belong to, well sometimes I wish I had remained an Airman. Today was one of those days.

I got an e-mail saying at 0645 on Saturday morning, I am tasked to be the administrator of a mass urinalysis for all male students coming back from exodus leave. That's 600+ young men.

What does all this mean? I get to stare at the male genitalia all day on Saturday to make sure they are pissing in a cup with their junk and not some rubber dong spraying apple juice.

They think I am grumpy Monday thru Friday, **** they have not seen anything yet.

Oh boy, I thought Christmas only came once a year. [/sarcasm]

:r:r:r:r:r:r:r:r:r:r

i... cant...even...catch.....my...... breath!!!

[elderboy02]

Sorry to hear this Darrell :( I would hate having to be the designated pe**er checker.

[Whee]

Dude, that's....just...brutal....:r:r

[Mugen910]

See if the gay bird man can spot you that day!

I hope they have an eye wash station handy :(

:r

[icehog3]

Just grin and bear it....have a nice cocktail when you are done. ;)

[Genetic Defect]

I am sure he will be a happy camper

[Spect]

Can you at least make comments like "Dude you better have the Doctor look at that..."

[shilala]

I can't even touch this. I think I went into smartass overload. :)

[Genetic Defect]

I can't even touch this. I think I went into smartass overload. :):r:r:r:r

[icehog3]

I am thinking they should be more thorough and get stool samples as well.

[Ace$nyper]

can you at least make comments like "dude you better have the doctor look at that..."

bwhahhahahaha

[Darrell]

I can't even touch this. I think I went into smartass overload. :)

That's not what I heard. :D

[STANGIN2]

Where can I go to register soldiers to receive care packages? I’m trying to keep the morale high within my currently deployed section.

[icehog3]

Where can I go to register soldiers to receive care packages? I’m trying to keep the morale high within my currently deployed section.

You can start by introducing yourself in the New Inmate thread, and let us know a little about yourself... ;)

[bobarian]

:r:r:r:usa

[bvilchez]

D why do you put yourself through this torment? Somethings are better off not said.....

Other than that good luck Saturday checkin pe*kers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:ss

[icehog3]

Look at the bright side, Darrell....this might be your "in" to get in the adult entertainment industry. Always need some good fluffers.


Don't shoot me, Bro, I keed, I keed. :r

[BigBruce]

Yea we have to wiener watch in the army too. We just make a big joke out it. Hell last time I had to pee in a cup I walked in dropped my pants to my ankles and started sing its my dick in a cup. What does an Nco do in the airforce besides wiener watch give some stearn talking too's I bet. :r

[theonlybear4CORT]

leave your camera at home this time.

[taltos]

I thought that weiner watch was a Primary MOS in the Air Force. Must only be secondary. At least when I was in, the Marine Corps used officers for weiner watch. Have fun and don't wear your best uniform.:ss

[Don Fernando]

:r:r

:tpd:

I actually started to laugh out loud when I read your new task Darrel. Now who is the real 'meanie'? You or the guy who assigned you to this task. :r :r

[shilala]

Think of the bright side, D.
You're gonna get to see 600 weiners, odds are you'll find one you really like!!!

[markem]

If any of them salute, Darrell, don't ask and don't tell.

[taltos]

This reminds me of the movie, maybe Stripes(?) when the Drill Sergeant walks into the crapper and all of the toilet seats pop up to attention.:al:al

[Scottw]

Do you have to check them for hernias too??? OMG this is fookin' hilarious.

:r:r:r:r:r

[jjirons69]

Just grin and bear it....have a nice cocktail when you are done. ;)

That's punny!

You said rubber dong...

[Genetic Defect]

funny people sometimes associate mean people as being dicks.....

[Partagaspete]

Think of the bright side, D.
You're gonna get to see 600 weiners, odds are you'll find one you really like!!!

:r:r:r:rLMAO:usa

[Partagaspete]

I thought that weiner watch was a Primary MOS in the Air Force. Must only be secondary. At least when I was in, the Marine Corps used officers for weiner watch. Have fun and don't wear your best uniform.:ss

Maybe in the Marines the O's did it because you actually have to have the ability to read?

T

[Partagaspete]

Ahhhh, THE NCO corps. The Corps within the U.S. Military that most aspire to belong to, well sometimes I wish I had remained an Airman. Today was one of those days.

I got an e-mail saying at 0645 on Saturday morning, I am tasked to be the administrator of a mass urinalysis for all male students coming back from exodus leave. That's 600+ young men.

What does all this mean? I get to stare at the male genitalia all day on Saturday to make sure they are pissing in a cup with their junk and not some rubber dong spraying apple juice.

They think I am grumpy Monday thru Friday, **** they have not seen anything yet.

Oh boy, I thought Christmas only came once a year. [/sarcasm]

Oh! Darrell why do you open yourself up for the abuse???

But unfortunately I can destroy this but it is one that will have to wait for a HERF since I feel a lot of it would be lost in words as opposed to voice.

Have fun

T

[taltos]

One last comment since I am an over 50 juvenile delinquint, this is a pisser of a thread.:r:r:r

[darb85]

So How does one exactly tell for sure that its a fake pecker spraying apple juice? I mean some of those fake peckers look pretty real....


oh and Tom, Cocktail? really? :r

[Redbaron]

Funny fuse=blown

[FXAdam]

[x] Thread delivers.
[ ] Day at work, good.

[Ace$nyper]

Think of the bright side, D.
You're gonna get to see 600 weiners, odds are you'll find one you really like!!!

O M F G

ahhaahhaahahahahah
:r:r:r

Gross

[shilala]

O M F G

ahhaahhaahahahahah
:r:r:r

Gross
D lives in California.
My guess is that he'll take it home with him, too. :lv

[Ironfreak]

Dude, that is a whole lotta cocky you are gonna have to preview...

LOL

[doctorcue]

Oh brother, I feel for you man. I say go home and get drunk to forget the day.

We'll try not to bring this up at the next herf. Key Word = Try :tu

[markem]

I can see Darrell singing this little ditty all day:

This is my rifle
This is my gun
This one's for shooting
This one's for fun

[shvictor]

Darell, I think this makes you the official "Peter Greeter".

[Rockestone]

:r:r:r

This whole thread is freakin' funny!!

:r:r:r

[Swampper]

I would like to thank you for serving our country, and protecting our freedom. :usa

[Darrell]

What does an Nco do in the airforce besides wiener watch give some stearn talking too's I bet. :r

Given the average Soldiers ASVAB score, nothing you could begin to comprehend. :r

[newcigarz]

Do you think 600 men 1 cup will make it onto youtube??:D

[shvictor]

Do you think 600 men 1 cup will make it onto youtube??:D

:r:r:r:r:r

[Genetic Defect]

How many cocks to get a promotion?

[Dennis569]

Is this the rubber dong thread?
I fingered it had to be around here somewhere.

[Partagaspete]

How many cocks to get a promotion?

Hey, he's in The A.F. not the Navy.:r

T

[Genetic Defect]

Hey, he's in The A.F. not the Navy.:r

T

:r

[Sauer Grapes]

Look on the bright side, every single one can be laughed at and then told that looks just like a penis only smaller.

[boonedoggle]

Ahhhh, THE NCO corps. The Corps within the U.S. Military that most aspire to belong to, well sometimes I wish I had remained an Airman. Today was one of those days.

I got an e-mail saying at 0645 on Saturday morning, I am tasked to be the administrator of a mass urinalysis for all male students coming back from exodus leave. That's 600+ young men.

What does all this mean? I get to stare at the male genitalia all day on Saturday to make sure they are pissing in a cup with their junk and not some rubber dong spraying apple juice.

They think I am grumpy Monday thru Friday, **** they have not seen anything yet.

Oh boy, I thought Christmas only came once a year. [/sarcasm]

Get to it, Sarge! Whatever...you enjoy it. Who doesn't?! :hm:r

[Yazzie]

Hey D, that's good OTJ Training to get yourself a gig with the NFL, NBA, MLB, etc... administering the Urin Tests. :r

[icantbejon]

Wow. This story seriously makes me wish I could resign my commission and re-enlist. It sounds as great as when I was a PFC scooping up dog **** outside of our motor pool. Why on earth did I ever decide to leave the enlisted side of the house????? What on earth was I thinking?????

:r:r:r:r:r

[HK3-]

Looking for the Wizinator! Nothing like the rubber **** and bladder strapped to the leg.

I would have to say that you my friend have a suck ass job. :D

[Genetic Defect]

Looking for the Wizinator! Nothing like the rubber **** and bladder strapped to the leg.

I would have to say that you my friend have a suck ass job. :D

:r

[Tikihut27]

One of the joys of being a Commissioned Officer is that we get to pick who has this job. Perhaps you should suck up more? :D

[Partagaspete]

One of the joys of being a Commissioned Officer is that we get to pick who has this job. Perhaps you should suck up more? :D

No that is the joy of being a Senior Non-Com;)

T

[GhostRyder]

This is ridiculously awesome. When I head back to school I'll to be piss tested and they use the Navy officers for that. No NCOs on staff though :( I'll be thinking of you while I'm peeing in front of an O-3 in the Navy.

[icehog3]

One of the joys of being a Commissioned Officer is that we get to pick who has this job. Perhaps you should suck up more? :D

Oooh....bad choice of words for this one. ;) :r

[Ace$nyper]

om my frigging god.

This thread is getting even funnier.

[Sauer Grapes]

You could dress kind of fruity (if you don't have to have your uniform on) and great them with a lisp when they walk in. I'm sure each one of them would find that funny.

[taltos]

You could dress kind of fruity (if you don't have to have your uniform on) and great them with a lisp when they walk in. I'm sure each one of them would find that funny.And holding a ruler.:ss

[markem]

You could dress kind of fruity (if you don't have to have your uniform on) and great them with a lisp when they walk in. I'm sure each one of them would find that funny.

nah. full dress uniform and a feather boa.

[Don Fernando]

don't forget to put on some lipstick.

[Darrell]

Great News!

My boss called and said it was canceled. Phew.

[pnoon]

Great News!

My boss called and said it was canceled. Phew.
Talk about mixed emotions.

I'm happy for you, D. :tu
But now we won't have this thread to enjoy any more. :mad:







It was all fun while it lasted. :salute:

[Genetic Defect]

Great News!

My boss called and said it was canceled. Phew.

maybe he read this thread

[doctorcue]

Great News!

My boss called and said it was canceled. Phew.

You must be upset with all that practice you put in the last few days. :r

[bobarian]

You must be upset with all that practice you put in the last few days. :r

OMG!:r:r:r

[theonlybear4CORT]

You must be upset with all that practice you put in the last few days. :r

LOL :r

[shvictor]

Great News!

My boss called and said it was canceled. Phew.

That is the worst news I have ever heard. I'm sure it was devastating to you Darrell. I'm sorry for your loss. :(

[Kondour]

:fuThat is the worst news I have ever heard. I'm sure it was devastating to you Darrell. I'm sorry for your loss. :(

:r:r:r:bx

[shvictor]

Good thing Kondour is coming to the herf, I'm sure he wont mind if you watch him pee. :hm

[Kondour]

Good thing Kondour is coming to the herf, I'm sure he wont mind if you watch him pee. :hm

:bx:bx:bx KO. Can't wait till your sick again.:r

[icehog3]

They cancelled out on you, Darrell??

What a dick move!! :r

[white_s2k]

They cancelled out on you, Darrell??

What a dick move!! :r

:r :r :r

[Bruzee]

I'll breath a sigh of relief for you Darrell! But the thread was fun to read. :ss

[taltos]

So no watching the youngsters whiz while Michael Jackson sings 'Beat It'? So sorry for you.:cb

[BC-Axeman]

:r:r:r:r
Thanks Darrell, and all.
*wipes tears from eyes*
:r:r:r:r
Oh, man, I'm glad I wasn't reading this thread at work.

[Darrell]

You must be upset with all that practice you put in the last few days. :r

Did you guys know Danny got laid off at his job at the sperm bank?

....they said he was drinking on the job. :D