Things Retired People Say.

[shilala]

This is just to help Peter along as he adjusts into his new life of leisure.
If you're gonna walk the walk, you gotta talk the talk, right?

I'll get us started...

"I can't afford that, I'm on a fixed income!!!"
"Take me home, Mother. I'm tired."
"I'm pretty sure it's Wednesday."
"I didn't quit working, I just quit getting paid for it."

[shilala]

I almost forgot my personal favorite...
"I never wanted to be nothin, and I never amounted to anything. I'm a complete success."

[CigarNut]

It's 4pm -- Dinner time!!

[Ogre]

Oh dear, I just sharted myself.

[G G]

:r

[Remo]

"What day is it?….October?

[14holestogie]

I remember back in my day...wait a minute, no I don't.

I was rude and unattractive back when I had to deal with people. Now, I don't have to be that nice. :)

[pnoon]

Retirement?
Six Saturdays and a Sunday.

[Remo]

Retirement?
Six Saturdays and a Sunday.

Ha, perfect :tu

[markem]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bjQo492UD8

[Porch Dweller]

Retirement?
Six Saturdays and a Sunday.

Yep. After I retired from the USAF I ran into one of the guys that worked for me at the gas station. He asked what retirement was like. I said "Every night's a Saturday night then you go to bed, wake up, and it's Saturday morning." He paused for a few seconds then said "I...can't...bleeping WAIT!"

[Stevez]

All I know is I can't wait to experience it myself. Probably 5 more years at a minimum. Congrats to all new retirees; hope it's everything you thought it would be and more.

[icehog3]

Retirement?
Six Saturdays and a Sunday.

Time for another nap. :)

[Remo]

All I know is I can't wait to experience it myself. Probably 5 more years at a minimum. Congrats to all new retirees; hope it's everything you thought it would be and more.

3 more years for me……then start another career :r

[jonumberone]

Get off my lawn!

[T.G]

Depends.

[Ashcan Bill]

The worst thing about being retired?

We no longer get paid holidays off.

:lr

[Ashcan Bill]

The second worst thing about being retired?

We forget it's a holiday and look for the mail.

:ss

[PCaponi]

Where did I leave my teeth?

[badbriar]

"Hurry up and get dressed- early bird menu is about to start"
:hy

[badbriar]

Depends.

Adam is a cruel dude - I approve! :r :r :r

[shilala]

"Hurry up and get dressed- early bird menu is about to start"
:hy
Weeze just told me to post that. :lr

[pnoon]

Adam is a cruel dude - I approve! :r :r :r

You have no idea how right you are.

[Ogre]

Hurry up honey, the Viagra is kicking in.

[rr_coyote]

"Ooh! The "Come On Down" show is on!"

[MarkinAZ]

Time for another nap. :)

You know, I was going to post one of those sayings right here in this thread, "but damned if I forgot where I put it..." Oh well:D

[icehog3]

Matlock for President!

[rr_coyote]

Shut up, I'm watching my stories!

[shilala]

"That woman next door has had her 3rd man in there this week!!!"

[n3uka]

http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Funny-retirement-cartoon.jpg

[cjhalbrooks]

I don't care what time it is. I can drink because my gold watch was never given to me....

[jjirons69]

For Mrs. Noon:

Twice as much husband for half as much money.

[Taki]

"F*** it, I am going to wear my whitey tighties all day, stained or not and lay on the couch"