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Ogre
01-18-2014, 09:25 PM
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed under a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
... The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just exactly does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Traffic Ticket $200.00
Court Costs $100.00
Look on the Cop's Face......Priceless...:P

Porch Dweller
01-18-2014, 09:31 PM
:r :r :r

big_jaygee
01-18-2014, 09:32 PM
:lr :lr :lr

thats great Larry :tu

CigarNut
01-18-2014, 10:52 PM
:r :r

MrClean
01-18-2014, 10:55 PM
:lr :lr

Good one Larry! :D

icehog3
01-19-2014, 12:15 AM
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.


And if he was 4 inches taller and scored 2 points lower on the Public Service exam, he could have been a fireman. :D

pnoon
01-19-2014, 12:31 AM
And if he was 4 inches taller and scored 2 points lower on the Public Service exam, he could have been a fireman. :D

Bazinga!
:)

kelmac07
01-19-2014, 08:42 AM
:r :r

longknocker
01-19-2014, 09:52 AM
:tu

Ogre
01-19-2014, 11:23 AM
And if he was 4 inches taller and scored 2 points lower on the Public Service exam, he could have been a fireman. :D

Jokes like this are not made about firemen. That's because people actually LIKE us.:noon

Subvet642
01-19-2014, 11:28 AM
Yeah, that's what you wanna be; some pissed-off cop's personal project. :tu

cmitch
01-19-2014, 12:46 PM
Jokes like this are not made about firemen. That's because people actually LIKE us.:noon
Da dump, shing!:r

icehog3
01-19-2014, 02:30 PM
Jokes like this are not made about firemen. That's because trees actually LIKE us.:noon

Fixed it, ya big lug. :D

Remo
01-19-2014, 03:13 PM
Funny joke Larry....at least you Firemen have heroes :tu