Hoover Niebold
02-02-2013, 02:01 PM
" The CURTAIN RODS "
On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings
into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his
things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their
beautiful
dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft
background
music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp,
a jar of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water.
When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and
deposited a
few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow
center of the
curtain rods.
He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new
boyfriend, and at
first all was bliss.
Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the
place.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam
cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were
brought in
to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to
move out for a
few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the
expensive wool
carpeting.. Nothing worked!
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and
decided
they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd
cut
their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a
stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused
to
return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had
to borrow a
huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were
going. She
told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely
and said that
he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to
reduce his
divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was,
she agreed on a price that was only 1/10 nth of what the
house
had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that
>very
day.
He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the
completed paperwork.
A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as
they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their
new home .....
and to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain
rods!
On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings
into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his
things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their
beautiful
dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft
background
music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp,
a jar of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water.
When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and
deposited a
few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow
center of the
curtain rods.
He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new
boyfriend, and at
first all was bliss.
Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the
place.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam
cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were
brought in
to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to
move out for a
few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the
expensive wool
carpeting.. Nothing worked!
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and
decided
they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd
cut
their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a
stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused
to
return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had
to borrow a
huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were
going. She
told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely
and said that
he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to
reduce his
divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was,
she agreed on a price that was only 1/10 nth of what the
house
had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that
>very
day.
He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the
completed paperwork.
A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as
they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their
new home .....
and to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain
rods!