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View Full Version : Two Dollar Bill


BlkDrew
04-19-2012, 04:16 PM
http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/581452_380809598626056_100000910570973_1110819_183 3220469_n.jpg
from,...Jim Peterson.....THIS IS A RIOT!!!

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!
I'm STILL laughing!!
I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.
The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat.

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.' Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.' He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these.

Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'
Manager 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'


Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,

Guard: 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.


Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think...

those two will be voting soon!!?!

YIKES!!!

Too late, we already have a nation full of them

Volusianator
04-19-2012, 04:24 PM
THAT is an outstanding story, thanks for taking the time to share.

I have a regular at my cigar shop who tips me with a $2 bill every Friday night, I may have a hundred of them by now.

maninblack
04-19-2012, 04:30 PM
That is a good story! Very funny and sad at the same time.

smitty81
04-19-2012, 04:41 PM
this needs to be sent to taco bell HQ!

HollywoodQue
04-19-2012, 04:50 PM
Wow. hope he didn't spit in your burrito....lol

bobarian
04-19-2012, 05:08 PM
Try paying with SB Anthony dollars. :sh

G G
04-19-2012, 05:35 PM
Funny in a way but the level of stupidity people have allowed themselves to sink to never ceases to amaze me.

Bruzee
04-19-2012, 05:39 PM
Thanks for the laugh! Great story.

kelmac07
04-19-2012, 05:52 PM
Knuckelheadism at its finest right there!!

Taki
04-19-2012, 06:06 PM
:lr :lr

Me and the wife are dying laughing reading this...thanks for sharing :tu

chaase321
04-19-2012, 06:07 PM
This totally just lit up my day! I love it. I have around 50 $2 bills and even though I never spend them I totally want to start now! Good laugh man

Ogre
04-19-2012, 06:22 PM
Gotta love the next generation of management in this county.

joeobx
04-19-2012, 07:56 PM
Next time go in and order the same thing and hand them a Sacagawea and Susan B Anthony and see what kinda response you get.

PCR
04-19-2012, 08:23 PM
Our education system has triumphed again. I can't wait to retire.

CigarSquid
04-19-2012, 08:27 PM
I do have a couple.. I will have to bust them out. I had one given to me at work.. I knew what was up.

proguy747
04-19-2012, 09:26 PM
:r:r:r

Boz
04-19-2012, 09:31 PM
This makes want to go to the bank and exchange $100 for 50 $2 bills just to see people's reaction :r This is too funny (although sad and discouraging at the same time).

Blak Smyth
04-20-2012, 05:07 AM
Great story and the last couple of lines is true.

shilala
04-20-2012, 05:19 AM
Ignorance can be fixed, but stupid is forever.

Blak Smyth
04-20-2012, 05:25 AM
Great story and the last couple of lines is true.

Ignorance can be fixed, but stupid is forever.

The last couple of lines are true. There's some fixed ignorance for you.

hammondc
04-20-2012, 07:30 AM
I need some $2 bills. Do banks still keep them?

Wanger
04-20-2012, 07:57 AM
LMAO! I know I've got a bunch somewhere. My grandma used to give them to all the grandkids for Valentine's Day. Always thought they were cool.

But I have heard that it's bad luck if you spend them. Hope you didn't get food poisoning. LOL

BlkDrew
04-20-2012, 11:57 AM
I need some $2 bills. Do banks still keep them?

I believe most banks have them, you just have to ask.

I was also just sharing the story, it was not my personal experience, although I am about to hit up the dollar menu and see what happens.

Cigar Mike
04-20-2012, 12:09 PM
I need some $2 bills. Do banks still keep them?

It's up to the bank. Back home the local branch I used got used to me coming in every few weeks and buying out all their $2s. Usually it was about $30 worth. I'd use them around town for small purchases, at the coffee shop, tips, farmer's markets, etc. Good conversation starter.

They eventually got used to me asking and I didn't get funny looks all the time after a while. The tellers would end up trading them all into one drawer and they'd tell me which teller to go to when they saw me coming.

I never had any trouble spending them, though. I did have one old guy see me put one in the tip jar at his sandwich shop and he darn near killed himself jumping around out of the kitchen to get his hands on it he was so excited...

Sauer Grapes
04-20-2012, 12:43 PM
BTW, according to snopes this story is fake... However, I remember a true story that is similar that happened a few years ago in Baltimore.

http://www.wnd.com/2005/04/29732/

I'm guessing this story is loosely based on the Baltimore story.

Vorb
04-20-2012, 12:55 PM
The original story was from a post on USENET in 1993. The Baltimore
story is from 2005.

I don't think we need to be too concerned about weeping for the future
(well, any more than any other day).

Think about it: if this TB employee was some HS kid, say 18, he's
37 years old now.

We need a toco bell or $2 bill smiley !

:D

Sauer Grapes
04-20-2012, 01:46 PM
I need some $2 bills. Do banks still keep them?

They do indeed. I live like four blocks from two different branches of my bank and I just picked up 50 of them. I'm going to enjoy spending them.

The bank also stated they can order a strap of them with a week or two of notice and that they keep straps of them around Christmas time. (a strap is 100 bills, so $200).

Silound
04-20-2012, 02:08 PM
When I waited tables in college, I had a regular who always came to have a couple drinks. He was a regular traveler on toll roads, and he always carried $2 bills and Susan B's or Sacajawea's for toll booths that were self-service.

After he retired, he said he had something like $1500 in assorted unusual types of currency. We were laughing about it one day, and somehow that unusual currency became part of my regular tips.

I saved almost all of them, mostly for the novelty of keeping them. Now I've got a box full of it all in my safe as a memory.

VTDragon
04-20-2012, 02:38 PM
Great story, even if it is a fake. I was going to say that there is a reason that the guy who didn't recognize the bill was working there. This is my wife's and my favorite line to each other when we encounter less than steler service.

eber
04-23-2012, 01:30 PM
I had a cashier at walmart give me very weird looks when I tried to use up some $2 bills that I had lying around, she did take them but I guess she had never seen them before either.

Subvet642
04-23-2012, 01:42 PM
""I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him.""

Of course he's gonna flinch, he put his hands near the guard's face. In most places, that's assault. Also, did he think someone could focus on it that close? I'm a guard and that kinda sh!t happens to me all the time. At the very least, it's abusive.

replicant_argent
04-23-2012, 02:11 PM
LMAO! I know I've got a bunch somewhere. My grandma used to give them to all the grandkids for Valentine's Day. Always thought they were cool.

But I have heard that it's bad luck if you spend them. Hope you didn't get food poisoning. LOL

Sounds like something a grandma might say to a kid to keep the kid from spending it. Are you sure she didn't add anything about cats stealing the souls and breath of babies while she was at it? ;)

bobarian
04-23-2012, 02:36 PM
""I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him.""

Of course he's gonna flinch, he put his hands near the guard's face. In most places, that's assault. Also, did he think someone could focus on it that close? I'm a guard and that kinda sh!t happens to me all the time. At the very least, it's abusive.

If the story was real this might make a difference. :sh

cjhalbrooks
04-23-2012, 08:14 PM
Just start to tell people that you are paying with Hawaiian money.

Subvet642
04-24-2012, 06:15 AM
If the story was real this might make a difference. :sh

If it's not, might it best be posted in "Jokes"?

Brian D.
04-24-2012, 08:26 AM
I need some $2 bills. Do banks still keep them?

The Bill Goodman gun and knife shows in Cincinnati and Dayton charge $8 admission. Guess what they give you in change if you hand them a ten dollar bill? Yep, a ''Jefferson". The show promoter must keep some bank someplace on its toes since they have several shows around the midwest/south each month.

elderboy02
04-24-2012, 08:39 AM
I love $2 bills. My dad used to give me and my brother $2 bills for our allowance when we were kids.

elderboy02
04-24-2012, 08:39 AM
The Bill Goodman gun and knife shows in Cincinnati and Dayton charge $8 admission. Guess what they give you in change if you hand them a ten dollar bill? Yep, a ''Jefferson"...

Probably because of the 2nd Amendment :tu ;)

SteelCityBoy
04-24-2012, 01:50 PM
Man oh man is that good...

It just hurts me a bit because I am in "the business," QSR (quick service restaurants)that is not the fake money business. On top of the managers personal pride being damaged he would be looking for a new job so he could argue with customers and hurt someone else's business. That is intolerable to me. Ignorant or not...it's $2!!! I try and teach my people the value of a guest in our establishments and getting them to come back. There are very few times ( I can count them on one hand) in 15 yrs of being in the business that I can say a customer was wrong....and besides that THEY ARE STILL THE CUSTOMER and deserve to be treated with respect.

Anyway, before I get way too off topic, the employees ignorance, sad as it is I can get, but the manager too? Crazy....but funny store Drew! :D