Need some feedback

[neoflex]

Looking to see if I am a crazy @sshole and totally off base here so please feel free to give me your honest feedback.
I have a neighbor across the street who in my opinion feels the world should revolve around him and because of that his kids are learning to have the same entitled mentality. Been dealing with this issue for some time and it finally came to a head today.
My across the street neighbor who is actually a house and a half away on the other side of the streets kids are constantly either playing football or soccer in the street in front of my house instead of their own. Keep in mind their house is on a curve and the front yard is over twice the size of mine and being the neighborhood is still being built also has 6 empty lots to the other side of him. Normally I wouldn't care but his kids really have no regard for others property as they are always stepping all over our plants and shrubs, almost hitting my vehicles on a regular basis with the ball and riding their bikes across everyones front lawns and yards and regularly breaking sh*t. On numerous occasions in the past after they have either broken landscaping lights, broken something on my property or hit my vehicles with a ball and I would pull the father aside and politely asked him if he could keep his kids from playing directly in front of my house or if they do if they could be a little more respectful and mindful of my property. Every time I was the @sshole for even mentioning it and he would hold a grudge. One time he held a grudge for a good bit until my next door neighbor told him he was dead wrong for being pissed at me as his kids do the same in his yard and he has yelled at them for it and for throwing their candy and ice cream wrappers in his yard. Keep in mind this guy is super anal about his own truck to the point where he washes it a minimum of 4 times a week and that's not an exaggeration.(God forbid he mowes his damn weeds though) This would explain why you will never catch any of them playing with the ball near his own truck.
So today I happened to be in the front room where my wife and I were playing with the baby. Needless to say the one kid is literally on my driveway less than two feet from my truck waiting for his brother to pass him the ball as he saw that this was a perfect place for him to play receiver. My wife saw the fury in my eyes and told don't go out side and make a scene. So I swallowed my anger and just watched out of the corner of my eye. Needless to say the ball hits my truck and they of course abadoned the ball like they usually do and ran back to their house so when I go over there to talk to the father they can say it wasn't them but some other non existent kid in the neighborhood. Well, unfortunately for them I saw it go down. Needless to say I went out and got the ball and brought it to the father and again asked him if their going to play ball if they could either do it in front of there own house or on their lawn away from my vehicles. Needless to say this turned out to be a big loud argument which I of course was accused of picking on his kids and singling them out. I replied with when the rest of the neighbors kids do play in front of my house they are mindful and respectful to my property and if they do happen to break something they at least knock on the door to inform me. I guess the truth hurt as this is where it got really heated. The best was his kids cursing at me with zero response from the father further proving to me that he has zero respect for anyone else and probably explains why his oldest is in jail at 19 years old.
Now am I just being unreasonable here and asking too much? Never had to deal with this as any other neighbor I lived next to have taught their kids boundries and that not everyone else in the neighborhoods home was their personal playground. Hell I know if I was caught doing half the crap they do as a child my father would have severely beat my @ss as I will do with my own when she is old enough to go out and play on her own. I'm sure I am leaving a great deal out but I have already posted a book.

[Blak Smyth]

I have a similar situation with a neighbor, but less severe. Sounds like you have a real doosher for a neighbor!

[Don Fernando]

invite some friends and play ball near his truck, in his yard and 'accidentally' throw a ball thru his window.

[DMK]

Good fences make good neighbors.... either that or concertina wire....:r
;s I just had to....:lv
I've had similar issues over the years with an alley behind my property that was used as a dump, auto wrecking yard, storage etc by the rental tenants behind me. I finally got the property owner on board and it is pretty much resolved.
I feel for you, but it looks like you are in a can't win situation....your a$$ owns the place....

[ade06]

Sounds like a good fence would help fix the problem of these kids walking on your yard. Also, I would stop returning the balls to the father. If it finds its way to your property and is left, I would keep it until the kids apologized and asked for its return.

[BlkDrew]

if it were me, i have some resources such as friends that are Police Officers. They would have no problem stopping by and talking to the father and the kids. I also would not give the ball back if it landed in my yard and I would also go as far as pursuing tress-pass charges on the kids, it is your property, if someone gets hurt on your property you can be held liable.

[Blak Smyth]

Or get an air cannon that can fit a football in the barrell and fire one through there front door and tell them it was from some other disgruntled neighbor. You wouldn't do something so rude to a neighbor you respect so much, maybe then you invite his family over for dinner and burry them in the crawl space. Okay so maybe we draw the line right before the crawl space?

[jluck]

Have you tried shaking you fist at them and yelling " damn whippersnappers get off me lawn"! That might work......

Really though I would maybe have the cops have a civil visit with them about property damage because face it....you can't just back hand them like you'd like to.

[neoflex]

Or get an air cannon that can fit a football in the barrell and fire one through there front door and tell them it was from some other disgruntled neighbor. You wouldn't do something so rude to a neighbor you respect so much, maybe then you invite his family over for dinner and burry them in the crawl space. Okay so maybe we draw the line right before the crawl space?

:r If only it were that easy.:D:sl The worst part is I know other neighbors are tired of dealing with it but most would rather not say anything to avoid the conflict where I have a hard time ignoring sh*t and letting it roll of my back especially when it costs me money. Good to see I'm not the only one that this would bother. We do have a fence, fencing off the backyard but that still leaves the driveway and front yard open. Thinking about opting for a video system so when sh*t does get damaged or broken I at least have proof. I really just wish they would move but they will probably be here longer than me.

[Starscream]

Go play baseball in the street with a friend or two and be sure to line drive one through their front window. That's an @$$hole response, but since you have asked nicely on more than one occasion...

Or you could just file a police report for damages done to your property.
My two oldest kids and one of their friends got caught running through my neighbor's yard and jumping over shrubs once. It NEVER happened again. My neighbors were nice about it, and I was nice back to them, but I wasn't so nice to my kids. They learned their lesson about respecting other people's property.:)

[bobarian]

Not sure why you keep giving the ball back. :sh

Any balls in my yard go into a box and then to Goodwill. :2

[replicant_argent]

We call them CSO's here. (Community Service Officers). While a call to the "Police" seems a bit drastic, when you do something like that here, the PoPo will send a CSO to have a chat with the offending neighbor and explain that his kids are infringing upon the peace of the neighborhood. Of course, the tact utilized by the CSO may be circumspect, and the discussion may not have positive results. (Let's hope your CSO is smarter than my own ;) )
While the property damage is one thing, safety of the children and those utilizing the street is at risk.

And we wouldn't want the kids to be at risk, would we? ;)

(you may want to have the other neighbors also call in complaints so the CSO can use the phrase "We have multiple complaints from several different sources.")

[Bill86]

Sounds like the father needs to catch a beating, and then maybe he'll learn to pass it on to his kids.

You are being far more reasonable than I would be.

If you get a hold of the soccer ball just put a knife to it. They aren't respectful of your property or you, why should you respect them or their property. After 5-6 soccer balls maybe they'll get the message.

[MurphysLaw]

Not sure why you keep giving the ball back. :sh

Any balls in my yard go into a box and then to Goodwill. :2

This. The kids abandoned the ball on your property, I'd find a charity that would get that ball to some kids in need.

[replicant_argent]

Sounds like the father needs to catch a beating, and then maybe he'll learn to pass it on to his kids.

You are being far more reasonable than I would be.

If you get a hold of the soccer ball just put a knife to it. They aren't respectful of your property or you, why should you respect them or their property. After 5-6 soccer balls maybe they'll get the message.

I don't think having assault charges pressed against yourself would be worth a dented hood or a broken chunk o' landscape. Other, more infinitely divergent minds other than my own may have other views. Not a good time for Testosterone Silliness. The dude has to live there, and childish retaliation can spin out of control pretty quickly.

[Bill86]

I don't think having assault charges pressed against yourself would be worth a dented hood or a broken chunk o' landscape. Other, more infinitely divergent minds other than my own may have other views. Not a good time for Testosterone Silliness. The dude has to live there, and childish retaliation can spin out of control pretty quickly.

I only stated he needed a beating, I never said to knock on his door and kick his teeth in. People like that never listen to rational thought, a good ass kicking would do them some good.

Obviously the talking it out approach never worked.

Probably need to take it up with someone of the authority.

[the jiggler]

I think your concerns are reasonable and you're response up to this point has been fair. When it comes to neighbors, I generally try to follow the Roadhouse Approach: be nice until it's time to not be nice. Video surveillance is a good idea. Call the cops on him and let them deal with it. When you are talking to the neighbors go out of your way to make sure they know that you are just a regular joe doing the best you can to get along with everybody. More people who are sympathetic to your cause the better.

Worse comes to worse you could always catch one of the kids and brand them. If that doesn't work, brand another one. Sooner or later they'll get the point. :)

[mosesbotbol]

Trespassing Warrant on the kids. They have no legality to be on your property. Whatever of theirs touches your property, I would move it into the garage and tell them that their father can pick it up.

Small claims court for damages they have committed and additional small claims courts for whatever you can think of. He'll have to take time out to go to court and that's a pain. If you are in a HOA, start making noise there.

Start being their nightmare. The father is not someone you want to hang around with, so let him feel the pain.

[T.G]

Landmines.

[replicant_argent]

Landmines.

Too much probability of hurting an innocent puppy.
Now, on the roof, with a rifle, a bottle of Jack Daniels and a stainless steel jockstrap to hold in the titanium bursting balls? Genius. And there is the opportunity to air your grievances to the neighborhood while getting some sun.

[3SmokesaRound]

Landmines.

:tpd:

I just laughed my ass off at that one.

[Poronico]

I would get an estimate for the damages to the vehicles and replacement of lights and lawn materials and present them to the father with a order of trespass. They can either abide by those documents of the children will be cited for disobeying a lawful order and destruction of property. If the father goes off the handle you can file civil grievances against him and things can get REALLY uncomfortable, or if he assaults you then its a WIN WIN.

[68TriShield]

If you are in a HOA, start making noise there.



I was waiting for someone to mention an HOA.

An HOA can wreak all kinds of havoc on the guy,especially with multiple neighbors backing you up.If you are in one of course.

[Ogre]

Trespassing Warrant on the kids. They have no legality to be on your property. Whatever of theirs touches your property, I would move it into the garage and tell them that their father can pick it up.

Small claims court for damages they have committed and additional small claims courts for whatever you can think of. He'll have to take time out to go to court and that's a pain. If you are in a HOA, start making noise there.

Start being their nightmare. The father is not someone you want to hang around with, so let him feel the pain.

That or the police. I have has Asshat neighbors like that. Damn near impossible to deal with.

[neoflex]

We are in an HOA community and for the most part they are pretty useless but I have gotten to know some of the people on the Management Company side as I did have the unfortunate experience to do a year and a half on the board until I resigned.(Way too much drama and BS for this guy) I didn't think about going that route figuring they probably wouldn't get involved and direct me to the Police but that is a thought. I will have to call tomorrow. Sad part is I was trying not to be a prick and just deal with the guy one on one hoping dealing with him man to man would have solved the problem. Clearly we were raised very differently. The part that pisses me off the most is how he acts like I am the irrational one which is why I figured I would see how others would react if faced with a similar situation and just see if I was just being that unrealistic.

[replicant_argent]

We're just happy you don't have a canine fecal issue. Those are the worst.

[kelmac07]

I love my fence. And I wouldn't hesitate to go outside and "ream" those little youngsters out. Oh and I too would have a nice collection of balls to go to Goodwill. :D

[68TriShield]

We are in an HOA community and for the most part they are pretty useless but I have gotten to know some of the people on the Management Company side as I did have the unfortunate experience to do a year and a half on the board until I resigned.(Way too much drama and BS for this guy) I didn't think about going that route figuring they probably wouldn't get involved and direct me to the Police but that is a thought. I will have to call tomorrow. Sad part is I was trying not to be a prick and just deal with the guy one on one hoping dealing with him man to man would have solved the problem. Clearly we were raised very differently. The part that pisses me off the most is how he acts like I am the irrational one which is why I figured I would see how others would react if faced with a similar situation and just see if I was just being that unrealistic.

Look in your copy of the bylaws,I'm sure it addresses some of the issues.

[MrClean]

If you get a hold of the soccer ball just put a knife to it.

This!
And then go throw the ball in their yard.

[SteelCityBoy]

Man that sucks. I had some bad A-hole neighbors when I lived in Florida...made life tough once in a while. So, I moved and now I have great neighbors! :D

Didn't actually move because off the bad neighbors, it was work related but was all around a great decision! Good luck with the whole situation.

[Jasonw560]

Well, if they abandon their ball, and they keep saying it wasn't them who hit your car and abandoned it, you wouldn't have it in your garage waiting to give to to Goodwill now, would you? Possession is, as the saying goes, 9/10th of the law.

Video of them doing it, estimates on damages, and a call to either Judge Judy or Judge Joe Brown. One of them would tear him a new one.

Short of that, potato gun filled with cow manure, trajectory his beloved truck. That, and a few choice words sprayed in Roundup in his yard.

[jjirons69]

John, sounds like you were raised like those of us with respect and manners were. That's what separates you from the rest of the azzhats in the world. Whatever you do, don't stoop to his level. Be the bigger man. I like the HOA, police, and ball confiscation ideas. No fence - I'm not spending time and money on a fence just to keep kids at bay. I truly feel for you, as your home and property should give you peace. Best of luck. Prayers sent your way.

[awsmith4]

John, sounds like you were raised like those of us with respect and manners were. That's what separates you from the rest of the azzhats in the world. Whatever you do, don't stoop to his level. Be the bigger man. I like the HOA, police, and ball confiscation ideas. No fence - I'm not spending time and money on a fence just to keep kids at bay. I truly feel for you, as your home and property should give you peace. Best of luck. Prayers sent your way.

Unless he gets an invisible fence and puts the shock collars on the neighbor's kids :D

In all seriousness Jaime is right and another option might be Code Enforcement if he is not keeping the house up. Not really a solution but it least you can get him to keep his yard up and cost him a bit of money.

[markem]

Out here in the backwards west, it is common for cities to have a dispute resolution center. I'm lousy at describing these, so I'll just point you to the one for my town. When I was on the HOA board, we often guided neighbors to this service and it seemed to us to be beneficial the majority of the time.

http://www.beavertonoregon.gov/index.aspx?nid=562

Seems to me that your neighbor might not want to participate, but if you start filing police reports for the incidents and damage, he may have no choice.

[MarkinAZ]

Now am I just being unreasonable here and asking too much?

Doesn't sound like you're being unreasonable to me...

1. Stay away from any violence. Its a no win situation and you don't want to come down to your neighbors level.

2. If Monroe, NC has a city web page, looking up some of the local municipal codes in regards to your issue will be helpful for future reference.

3. I would make sure you document in writing all events up to and including the present (date, time, nature of the issue, photographs are very helpful).

4. From this point on, collect all sporting equipment vacated on your property (evidence and as mentioned above can later be donated to a good cause).

5. With the above in hand, you can then proceed forwards with the HOA board and present your case. The board (and through their attorney) should be able to request the neighbor to come in before them and answer questions (there can also be fines issued to the neighbor which can increase over time).

6. I personally would not hesitate to contact Monroe PD. Once they make contact with the neighbor, it will be documented in their computer system, and possibly via a report.

We live in an HOA townhome type of community here in Valencia (one of the oldest and well established) and we all respect each others property and so forth. Its the only way there is...

Good luck to you:tu

[Bruzee]

Doesn't sound like you're being unreasonable to me...

1. Stay away from any violence. Its a no win situation and you don't want to come down to your neighbors level.

2. If Monroe, NC has a city web page, looking up some of the local municipal codes in regards to your issue will be helpful for future reference.

3. I would make sure you document in writing all events up to and including the present (date, time, nature of the issue, photographs are very helpful).

4. From this point on, collect all sporting equipment vacated on your property (evidence and as mentioned above can later be donated to a good cause).

5. With the above in hand, you can then proceed forwards with the HOA board and present your case. The board (and through their attorney) should be able to request the neighbor to come in before them and answer questions (there can also be fines issued to the neighbor which can increase over time).

6. I personally would not hesitate to contact Monroe PD. Once they make contact with the neighbor, it will be documented in their computer system, and possibly via a report.

We live in an HOA townhome type of community here in Valencia (one of the oldest and well established) and we all respect each others property and so forth. Its the only way there is...

Good luck to you:tu


Great answer from a great BOTL! I second his opinion. Good luck brother. :tu

[smitty81]

get protective dog and chain up in front yard.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/38/Military_dog_barking.JPG

Put up sign.
http://www.mysecuritysign.com/img/lg/K/Beware-Dog-Sign-K-2556.gif

Problem solved.
http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/imagesource/imagesource1108/imagesource110819492/10158003-two-scared-looking-twin-boys.jpg

[pnoon]

smaller pics next time please.

[smitty81]

smaller pics next time please.

ok, sorry.

[pnoon]

ok, sorry.

"preview post" is your friend.

[cobra03]

As a LEO I have dealt with many of these situations. Don’t feel like you’re alone on this one. I have found that way too many people have this entitlement problem which they pass along to their children. They or their demon spawn are never responsible for anything. This was never the case when I was a child. If the neighbor said I did something it wasn’t a matter of whether I did it or not, it was why I did it. Not anymore. Now it’s always “Little Johnny would never do that” despite the fact that I caught him red handed. Anyway what you have done so far is fine, you’ve tried to handle it civil now you need to ramp it up. Any balls, toys or other items left in or around your property have become “abandoned property”. I would start by seizing said property any chance I could and donating it to some needy people as others has said. Obviously these kids don’t need it, they left it on your property. Also I would contact your HOA if nothing else just to see what if anything they can do. If you must go in to the legal realm I would do it as a last resort. I would document every time they are on your property and any damage that they cause. I would also send them a certified letter advising them that they are hereby banned from entering your property for any reason and any violation of that will be met with prosecution. This way it’s documented that they were warned. You will need to show this if it went as far as court. That being said you’re going to have a hard time going after these kids criminally due to their age, but the cops showing up might just be enough to scare them.

[taltos]

It would be just terrible if one of his kids' baseballs went through his truck's window.

[smitty81]

It would be just terrible if one of his kids' baseballs went through his truck's window.

lol..............I vote for this. They will NEVER fess up!

[hammondc]

All good info. I really have nothing more to add. I can sympathize with the yard of weeds neighbor though. 2 years ago when we moved in his yard was dirt and weeds. i started applying weed-n-feed, fertilizer and seed to his yard for him. He has grass now. Not golf course quality, but better than weeds.

[Stephen]

Trespassing Warrant on the kids. They have no legality to be on your property. Whatever of theirs touches your property, I would move it into the garage and tell them that their father can pick it up.

Small claims court for damages they have committed and additional small claims courts for whatever you can think of. He'll have to take time out to go to court and that's a pain. If you are in a HOA, start making noise there.

Start being their nightmare. The father is not someone you want to hang around with, so let him feel the pain.
Solid advice here. It's painfully obvious by now that this problem isn't going to correct itself dealing with him man-to-man (since you've given him numerous opportunities to do so), so it's time to get outside authority entities involved. :2
If you get a hold of the soccer ball just put a knife to it.
Actually did this last year to, "that neighbor" next door to us. After multiple times of hit and run by his heathens, I took the ball over and again asked if he would kindly remind his kids to respect others property. He again said that he didn't know what I was talking about and that his kids were doing no such thing and that wasn't their ball. I apologized for being mistaken, pulled out my Kershaw and mutilated the ball in front of him. No more problems the rest of the summer (at least with errant toys hitting the house/vehicles that is).

[Devanmc]

Too much probability of hurting an innocent puppy.
Now, on the roof, with a rifle, a bottle of Jack Daniels and a stainless steel jockstrap to hold in the titanium bursting balls? Genius. And there is the opportunity to air your grievances to the neighborhood while getting some sun.

Alittle late here but alittle training i had told me your safe here. personnel landmines are set to go off when the weight of a person steps on them(80lbs or so minimum). So unless someones own a saint bernard youll be good :tu mine field it up

[replicant_argent]

For those "recommending" escalated personal confrontation, it would be wise to remember little kids/heathens/ankle biters/reprobates/urchins grow into teenagers. Teenagers without proper guidance are known to do nasty things to property owned by people they dislike under the cover of darkness.

[Devanmc]

For those "recommending" escalated personal confrontation, it would be wise to remember little kids/heathens/ankle biters/reprobates/urchins grow into teenagers. Teenagers without proper guidance are known to do nasty things to property owned by people they dislike under the cover of darkness.

Not if there is a mine field :sh everyone is scared of mine fields.

and alittle bit of this
http://www.defensereview.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/us_security_fence_concertina_wire_1.jpg