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irratebass
10-03-2011, 07:28 AM
Why Parents Drink



A father passing by his son's bedroom was
Astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything
Was picked up. Then he saw an

Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was
Addressed to 'Dad.'



With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
With
Trembling hands and read the letter.





Dear Dad:



It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
Had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid
A scene with Mom and you.



I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so
Nice.



But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her
Piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that
She is much older than I am. But it' s not only the
Passion...Dad she's pregnant.



Stacy said that we will be very happy.



She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood
For the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
Children..



Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
Really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the
Other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.



In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure
For AIDS so
Stacy
Can get better. She deserves it.



Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.



Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you
Can
Get
To know your grandchildren.





Love, Your Son John







PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over
At Tommy's house.





I Just wanted to remind you that there are
Worse things in life than a Report card That's in my center
Desk drawer.





I love you.





Call me when it's safe to come home...

RevSmoke
10-03-2011, 07:35 AM
I've seen this one before, but it has been a while. It is s still a great one. Thanks for the laugh.

Peace of the Lord be with you.

Barcode
10-03-2011, 07:36 AM
:r:r:r

CigarSquid
10-03-2011, 07:41 AM
Good one. I have yet to here that one.

Ogre
10-03-2011, 08:01 AM
An oldie but a GOODIE!!!!!

Lonely Raven
10-03-2011, 08:32 AM
I'm saddened to say that I've pulled something similar on my parents before. And my fiance too now that I think about it.

Imagine wanting a $450 humidor....so I ask my fiance if I can get the $1500 one, I keep telling how nice it is, all the features...then when she's about to blow a gasket I say "you know, I think this $450 one will do just fine...I don't need that $1500 one". And I get what I really wanted in the first place.

kelmac07
10-03-2011, 08:58 AM
:r :r :r

RevSmoke
10-03-2011, 10:12 AM
I'm saddened to say that I've pulled something similar on my parents before. And my fiance too now that I think about it.

Imagine wanting a $450 humidor....so I ask my fiance if I can get the $1500 one, I keep telling how nice it is, all the features...then when she's about to blow a gasket I say "you know, I think this $450 one will do just fine...I don't need that $1500 one". And I get what I really wanted in the first place.

Hey, didn't you invite her here onto this public board, wanting her to see what all the hubbub was about - in the hopes of getting her to see what you really enjoy.

And now you just publically told her how you manipulated her?

Dude!?!?!?

shilala
10-03-2011, 10:38 AM
:r :r :r

N2 GOLD
10-03-2011, 11:12 AM
:tu :r :r

Blak Smyth
10-03-2011, 11:15 AM
:r

forgop
10-03-2011, 11:19 AM
The answer could have simply been "kids". ;)

Skywalker
10-03-2011, 11:20 AM
:r:r:r

irratebass
10-03-2011, 11:21 AM
Hey, didn't you invite her here onto this public board, wanting her to see what all the hubbub was about - in the hopes of getting her to see what you really enjoy.

And now you just publically told her how you manipulated her?

Dude!?!?!?

:jd

Mr B
10-03-2011, 11:30 AM
:tu :r

BlindedByScience
10-03-2011, 12:06 PM
Most excellent; thanks for the chuckle. Just sent along to my son, the new father....:D