Going to pop the question...need ring suggestions! [Archive]

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Bageland2000

08-30-2011, 06:53 PM

OK so It's been over three years, and it's at the point where I can't wait much longer to ask my gf to marry me. She's the love of my life, and I've known that I was going to marry her about a week into our relationship...but I digress

I'm assuming there are at least as many financial predators in the jewelery business as there are in the used car, real estate, and stock market sectors. My gut is telling me to stay away from all of the chain stores all together (the thought of one of my girlfriend's aunts coyly whispering to her mother "he went to Jared" makes me want to inhale Cohiba smoke until my stomach ejects itself from my insides) I've been reading a lot on the components of a ring (the 4 Cs, setting, etc) so I'm not so much looking for advice on that (though I'm always open to suggestions) as I am looking on ways to not get ripped off. I've heard of buying antique rings, has anyone done that? If anyone has any positive advice or horror stories with a lesson please share. I'd love to hear from as many people as possible:2

kelmac07

08-30-2011, 07:00 PM

No help on the ring (been married 26 years)...but congrats brother!! :D

Salvelinus

08-30-2011, 07:12 PM

Aporschaguy

08-30-2011, 07:16 PM

Look look and look again. FYI if you buy a ring from a store ands it's 20k it isn't actually worth more than 5k. There are great deals if you buy right. Craigslist is not how you do it. The cost of diamonds is low if you can find someone that sells or buys used stones. buy her a diamond then pick the setting together. My wife loved that.

Bageland2000

08-30-2011, 07:25 PM

First, congrats! I made the same move a year and a half ago and am glad I did.

The only advice I am giving on the ring is to not overspend. You shouldn't be paying off a ring for years. I just had a grad student buddy living on a 15K a year stipend put a 9K ring on a credit card. That ring is going to cost him a fortune...

I don't know your friend, but if my friend did that I may have some words for him. Thanks for the advice, but I would NEVER buy a ring that I couldn't pay for outright. Especially on a CC!

Look look and look again. FYI if you buy a ring from a store ands it's 20k it isn't actually worth more than 5k. There are great deals if you buy right. Craigslist is not how you do it. The cost of diamonds is low if you can find someone that sells or buys used stones. buy her a diamond then pick the setting together. My wife loved that.
That sounds like a great idea. I've heard many times to buy the diamond separately. Do you know where to look for places that do this? I will likely be looking in the Chicago or Augusta, GA area....

This is good stuff, more advice is definitely welcome!

Conch Republican

08-30-2011, 07:33 PM

Andrew, I just went through this and popped the question in July. I had the luck of having a family friend in the business, and went to his guy who does repairs and custom work.
What I went through though was:

Picking the stone, did she want diamond, sapphire, etc? I went with a diamond (white, although a friend recently picked a black diamond set in White gold), but mine was a normal diamond.
Color and clarity are the things to look for (you can look on the internet for diamond gradings and examples)
Then I had to decide on the setting and the gold. My fiancee is a Nurse, so a strong setting, but still nice and shows off the diamond well.
I went with White gold (14 carat) and added 2 small blue sapphires on either side...they sparkle but set off the diamond!

Anyway you choose - the important part is it is something she will want. I know someone who goes to the big box stores because she likes to upgrade - which works for them, but not for me. I wanted something that would be nice, and I dont do the trade up thing.

Good luck - PM me if you want the name and number of my guy:)

Ogre

08-30-2011, 07:41 PM

I know some people go down to the islands (ie Grand Cayman) and getting stones allot cheaper then here. Take her on a cruise, pop the question and let her pick the stone. Just an idea.

Bageland2000

08-30-2011, 07:44 PM

I know some people go down to the islands (ie Grand Cayman) and getting stones allot cheaper then here. Take her on a cruise, pop the question and let her pick the stone. Just an idea.

Genius Larry, genius

loki

08-30-2011, 07:48 PM

http://www.bluenile.com/

physiognomy

08-30-2011, 07:56 PM

Congratulations! I'd check out www.bluenile.com... Lots of information on picking a stone, etc. They also have great (unbelievable) service & their pricing was much better than my local stores.

- edit - Kevin beat me to it :D

Bageland2000

08-30-2011, 07:57 PM

http://www.bluenile.com/

Congratulations! I'd check out www.bluenile.com... Lots of information on picking a stone, etc. They also have great (unbelievable) service & their pricing was much better than my local stores.

- edit - Kevin beat me to it :D

Very nice. Giving them a quick look-over before I go to sleep. Their site is very intuitive and looks amazing! Will definitely look further into this tomorrow

Aporschaguy

08-30-2011, 08:19 PM

That sounds like a great idea. I've heard many times to buy the diamond separately. Do you know where to look for places that do this? I will likely be looking in the Chicago or Augusta, GA area....

This is good stuff, more advice is definitely welcome!

I do but down in Venezuela. They have a mine and my wife's was cut in Israel EGL certified. My employee 'carried' it back for me.

I wish I knew someone in your neck of the woods. Sorry...

irratebass

08-30-2011, 08:22 PM

Early congrats Andrew......I went with Kay Jewelers and we are so glad we did and yep we shopped and shopped and shopped some more, but Kay made us the best offer for our budget. I know you don't want to go that way, but just thought I'd throw in my :2

Aporschaguy

08-30-2011, 08:26 PM

http://www.bluenile.com/

Wow great prices for retail however there are better prices.

You should call all the Scrap Gold buyers in your area. They buy lots of gold and the diamonds that go with them. Most of the diamonds are wholesaled to middle men. I bet you could find 1.5ct for 4-5k.....

Women live it when you save ;) and buy big.... This is the perfect opportunity... She will brag about you for years...

'oh ya you paid what for 1ct? My husband bought this better quality (?) for 1/3....

smokin5

08-30-2011, 08:31 PM

How about a Montecristo cigar ring?
Simple, yet elegant. :ss

irratebass

08-30-2011, 08:32 PM

How about a Montecristo cigar ring?
Simple, yet elegant. :ss
:lr :tu

Bill86

08-30-2011, 08:35 PM

How about a Montecristo cigar ring?
Simple, yet elegant. :ss

That's the engagement ring, I think you gotta get her a Cohiba for the wedding ring :D

I vote convince her to go with tattoo'd ring fingers and spend the balance on cigars ;)

:r

Fordman4ever

08-30-2011, 08:38 PM

bought mine at Kay jewelers and she loved it.

Eleven

08-30-2011, 08:43 PM

I have been in the business for over 25 years and here are a couple things that I tell my friends:

Get a certified diamond, preferably GIA certified, they are the gold standard for diamond certification.

14k or platinum solitaire settings never go out of style.

Stick with a standard shape diamond (this one is my preference but it has not failed), you cannot go wrong with a Round Brilliant Cut.

If had to choose between attributes, I always say to NEVER skimp on color. You'll find 1 million diamonds out there with the standard "G-H-I" color range, but once you place a D or E color diamond next to any of those, you'll never question this recommendation again.

Also, be aware of any place that uses ranges when specifying color or clarity. If they say G-H-I or I quality without being specific such as G color, SI2, then you can be sure it's at the low end of that range, and I can guarantee whatever cert they may produce will not be GIA.

Good Luck and Congrats!

RGD.

08-30-2011, 09:00 PM

http://www.bluenile.com/

Congratulations! I'd check out www.bluenile.com...

Another vote for Blue Nile. I have been purchasing from them for years. Not one single complaint here.

You know - the average person can't tell the difference between a SI1 and a VVS1. So unless your girlfriend is one to run right down to a jeweler - you have options. And with Blue Nile you can pick your diamond, setting and your price.

Congratulations!

Ron

taltos

08-31-2011, 05:30 AM

From my own experience, watch out for places that do specific advertising aimed at members of the military since many of them are predators and have predatory pricing and financing. The large jewelry chains are generally honest although you will not get the quality that you would if you purchased the stone and setting separately. Above all, congratulations and good luck!

shilala

08-31-2011, 06:23 AM

Congratulations, brother!!! :tu

I used my hometown jeweler who's been there forever. I knew what I wanted because I knew what Lisa would like. I found the ring and matching wedding band and then ultimately bought her the matching band for the other side because we both thought it would look better. I never told her I was getting that second band, I just did it out of the blue. She had to stop there to have her ring soldered together and I made arrangements for them to add the other band. She was shocked and thrilled.
I like the idea of the man picking the ring. I think it's his job, not so much a group effort like a lot of couples do. Whatever makes a couple happy is fine of course, but I knew that's what Lisa would expect and she adores what I picked.
Another reason I used my hometown jeweler is because I knew what I should be paying for what I was buying and I knew I could beat him down to the best possible price, comparatively.
I'd bought jewelry there for years, so that made a difference, I suppose.

Whatever you do, good luck, and may you have a long and happy marriage!!! :tu

rizzle

08-31-2011, 08:40 AM

Find yourself a good wholesaler to buy your stone/stones from.

chippewastud79

08-31-2011, 09:26 AM

Find the Rapaport online, it will give you the best idea of what a diamond should cost. It is the industry standard for pricing and updates quarterly I believe. It isn't meant to be public, but there are certain sites out there who will have a copy, even if it is an old one.

Personally, I buy diamonds from a distributor, above a 'wholesaler', 'dealer' or individual store. Diamonds, like any item go up in price the further they travel. The best bet is finding a distributor who gets the diamonds straight from New York (point of entry for all diamonds). You will likely have to pay in cash or in full before you can take the finished product.

Avoid online jewelers like Blue Nile. They loosely group their diamonds into far more broad ranges than a jeweler would. They buy diamonds in bulk that are all 'similar' to the type that they are selling, they could be anywhere from 2-4 steps off of what you think you are buying. You could end up paying $1000 for a diamond that was supposed to be a certain weight, color and clarity but they send you a diamond that was close enough to the untrainned eye but ends up being worth $800 when appraised.

Know what you are looking at, learn the 4 C's before you go, this will also help with the Rapaport. Personally, buying a loose diamond and having it set is far more personal than buying a completed ring that anyone can buy. Always ask to use the jewelers magnifier to examine the diamond yourself. A good jeweler will point out the flaws in the diamond under the glass for you, this is so you can realize why the diamond was rated the way it was.

For metals, if you are going with a white/silver colored metal, I would recomend paladium over platinum and white gold. Paladium is a precious metal that is slightly more expensive than white gold but far less than platinum. White gold is essentially bleached gold and will yellow over time and need to be redone to return to its 'white' color. Platinum is far more expensive but also far more labor intensive, it scratches far too easy and muct be buffed out periodically. Paladium is brighter, more scratch reistant and whiter than both the other two. For the price, I don't think you can beat the look.

Have an idea what type of ring she would like: solitare vs. three stone, plain band vs. design, square cut vs. round cut, etc. If you have a basic idea, you should be able to customize a ring that she will love.

Best of luck with the search. :tu

Trace63

08-31-2011, 10:27 AM

brilliantearth.com .... just got my fiance one from there this past January.
I got a 0.44 Carat, Round Shape, Super Ideal Cut, E Color, SI1 Clarity for $10xx I believe. Awesome service, a tonload of settings to choose from and conflict free diamonds to boot.

Blak Smyth

08-31-2011, 11:03 AM

All I know is if you buy yellow gold it will make your teeth look whiter!

Bageland2000

08-31-2011, 03:17 PM

Bluenile is where I've spent a lot of time. I don't know if I'll actually buy a ring from there, but it's definitely a great resource for research!

Congratulations, brother!!! :tu

I used my hometown jeweler who's been there forever. I knew what I wanted because I knew what Lisa would like. ...

Whatever you do, good luck, and may you have a long and happy marriage!!! :tu
I want to buy her the ring without her knowing too! Not necessarily because I believe it to be my job as a man (I guess the fact that I'm buying her one period is still buying into patriarchal tradition lol, I'm a sociology major after all) but because I believe that's how gifts should be given. Thanks for the wishes!

Find the Rapaport online, it will give you the best idea of what a diamond should cost. It is the industry standard for pricing and updates quarterly I believe....

Best of luck with the search. :tu
looking online quickly yielded no downloadable reports. link? thanks for the help
brilliantearth.com .... just got my fiance one from there this past January....
Did you feel comfortable buying such an intimate item online, and not even seeing it before you purchased it!?

All I know is if you buy yellow gold it will make your teeth look whiter!
bahahaha

Hippiebrian

08-31-2011, 03:26 PM

Most women seem to prefer a small ring. Might I suggest, say, a 46/6 corona? ;s

Congrats no matter what ring you decide on! No matter what, she'll love it!

Trace63

08-31-2011, 03:32 PM

Actually I did. The people at brilliantearth are amazing. Plus, they cover shipping there and back so if you dont like it you can just send it back. The pictures online are amazing and my diamond, and im pretty sure all of theres, are GIA certified so you know youre getting good stuff.

AND, if later on you want to swap out the stone, theyll do it and pay you exactly what you payed for the diamond at time of purchase.

Bageland2000

08-31-2011, 03:40 PM

Most women seem to prefer a small ring. Might I suggest, say, a 46/6 corona? ;s

Congrats no matter what ring you decide on! No matter what, she'll love it!
Thanks brother haha

Actually I did. The people at brilliantearth are amazing. Plus, they cover shipping there and back so if you dont like it you can just send it back. The pictures online are amazing and my diamond, and im pretty sure all of theres, are GIA certified so you know youre getting good stuff.

AND, if later on you want to swap out the stone, theyll do it and pay you exactly what you payed for the diamond at time of purchase.
That sounds enticing, I'll look them up for sure!

tsolomon

08-31-2011, 03:42 PM

I had it easy, I married the jeweler's daughter. She knew what she wanted and her dad got in some loose stones from NY to pick from. She wanted an oval which I would never have thought of. :2

76GTFan

08-31-2011, 04:05 PM

I was fornutate to have a family heirloom diamond donated. I had to pay for the gold and the other small rocks, but it saved my arse. Not saying you have that option, but there are quality diamonds for affordable prices. Shane Co. is one place to look. They actually teach you about what you are buying and why some rocks are of higher quality than others. I know I didn't know much about that stuff before I had to. Congrats from a fellow GA native.

chippewastud79

08-31-2011, 09:49 PM

looking online quickly yielded no downloadable reports. link? thanks for the help

It appears that former sources of the list have all but dried up. Less than a year ago it was fairly available. The list is copywritten, so it is tough to come by regardless, but they muct be cracking down on it more recently. :sh

A reputable jewelry shop will have a copy, they will most certainly not allow you to take one, but you may be able to take a look. It is a little confusing to look at, so you may want to find someone who is friendly enough to explain the report. Then you can discuss how much off the Rapaport (industry standard) they discount their diamonds. Keep in mind the loose diamond price still needs metal and setting/labor added to it for the final price. :tu

Bageland2000

09-01-2011, 05:52 AM

It appears that former sources of the list have all but dried up. Less than a year ago it was fairly available. The list is copywritten, so it is tough to come by regardless, but they muct be cracking down on it more recently. :sh

A reputable jewelry shop will have a copy, they will most certainly not allow you to take one, but you may be able to take a look. It is a little confusing to look at, so you may want to find someone who is friendly enough to explain the report. Then you can discuss how much off the Rapaport (industry standard) they discount their diamonds. Keep in mind the loose diamond price still needs metal and setting/labor added to it for the final price. :tu
So this is like the Kelly Blue Book for Diamonds huh? Gotta love that it isn't available to everyone, what a crock.

longknocker

09-01-2011, 06:06 AM

Bageland2000

09-01-2011, 06:12 AM

Maybe It's Just Me, But My Wife & I Have Always Picked Out Rings, Jewelry, & Expensive Purchases Together. You're Starting Off A Beautiful Relationship As A Couple, Why Not Pick The Ring Together? :) :2
You know brother honestly I've thought about it. Me and Lauren do EVERYTHING together. Just because of my style though, this is going to be something I do without her knowing

longknocker

09-01-2011, 06:18 AM

You know brother honestly I've thought about it. Me and Lauren do EVERYTHING together. Just because of my style though, this is going to be something I do without her knowing

:tu Best Of Luck To You In Your Quest! :)

cmitch

09-01-2011, 06:29 AM

DON'T go to Zales. i bought my wife's engagement ring there in 1985 and paid over 400 bucks for it. It was 1/4 carat diamond with 14K gold. I had it appraised for insurane purposes 15 years later and was told the diamond was of such poor quality, it was essentially worthless. His appraisal? $80.

Buy only what you can afford. If she knows you love her, that is all that matters. I'm not advocating going cheap here. But buying what you cannot afford starts off your life together on the wrong foot. Congratulations!

chippewastud79

09-01-2011, 08:46 AM

So this is like the Kelly Blue Book for Diamonds huh? Gotta love that it isn't available to everyone, what a crock.

Its essentially for retailers and people who deal in diamonds, the general public was not intended to have access to it. Thats why it was difficult to find it online prior to this, and now seemingly impossible. The only person whom I have had explain the list and let me look at it was the wholesaler I used for my wife's ring and subsequent diamond purchases. ;s

chippewastud79

09-01-2011, 08:47 AM

You know brother honestly I've thought about it. Me and Lauren do EVERYTHING together. Just because of my style though, this is going to be something I do without her knowing

Good move. :tu

longknocker

09-01-2011, 08:49 AM

Update: Just Talked To My Wife & She Said She Would Rather I Picked Out The Ring Beforehand & Surprised Her! You're On The Right Track, Brother!:tu

glassjapan

09-01-2011, 07:48 PM