What would you do?

[blugill]

Here's the situation, my 16 year old daughter wants to go to the Warped Tour by Kansas City July 6.
Not a problem, she wanted to take her friend so the wife and I are going to drive them up for her birthday present.
Now she wants to being along her boyfriend, I'll call him Slug to be nice. I don't like Slug, he knows I don't like him. The wife asked me if he could come and I said no way.
Now it'll cause drama if I tell the girl, no your boyfriend can't come with us.
So do I man up, take the high road and tale him along to keep the peace or just stick to my original position and probably let the wife drive them and I go to work like normal that day?
Posted via Mobile Device

[Blak Smyth]

Glad I don't have kids!

I guess it depends on why you don't like him.

[J0eybb]

Do you trust your daughter?

[chippewastud79]

16 years old, no. Maybe in about 15 years he can go with you. :tu

[Starscream]

If you are going to be with them at all times, then sure. If you don't like him and they are going to have a lot of "alone" time, then NO.

[blugill]

I'm not concerned about hanky panky or anything like that. There would be three altogether and not a big deal.
His mom married into a family that owns a dealership, he's spoiled, lazy, and I don't care for him.
He never shook my hand or introduced himself, he was afraid to come up and try to talk to me when I was sitting outside in the lawn with a cigar and drink.
And hopefully the days on this puppy live relationship are numbered but likely not until after July 6.
Posted via Mobile Device

[jjirons69]

Here's what I'd say and I'm pretty sure it's the same thing I would've heard at that age. Me speaking, "The agreement was you and your friend were going for your birthday present. I have no problems with that. That's what we agreed on. I have a feeling Slug doesn't like the idea of you going off without him or something like that, but him going was not part of our initial agreement. You have the same choices as you had last week, you and 'Emily' can go and we'll be happy to take you two or you can stay home with us and we'll celebrate your birthday at home. I'll support either decision."

I think that's fair. At 16 I would've thought it sucked, but at 16, I'd be happy to go with my best friend.

It was never said at my house and I don't plan on saying it to my kids, but you knew it was their roof and the final decision for anything was in their hands (their = parents).

[Subvet642]

I would let him go, but read him this:

Ten Simple Rules for
Dating My Daughter


Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, you may think we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on his subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my Daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies, which feature chainsaws, are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

[jjirons69]

^ Or this will work, too :r

[blugill]

Love the rules:)
Posted via Mobile Device

[NCRadioMan]

Just stick to your guns. He will probably just meet them there anyway.

[Scothew]

I would let him go, but read him this:

Ten Simple Rules for
Dating My Daughter

Noted for future reference. My daughter is nearly 2.. ill need this in about 20 years.

[jledou]

It may not be the best thing in the world for you at the time, but several hours together in a car may just be the ticket to drive them apart.
BTW let us know if you have some free time in while you are in the area.

[blugill]

Will do!
Is there a cigar shop around Bonner Springs?
Posted via Mobile Device

[Sherlockholms]

Just stick to your guns. He will probably just meet them there anyway.

+1 :tu

[lbowles2]

Will do!
Is there a cigar shop around Bonner Springs?
Posted via Mobile Device

Not too far away is Outlaw North

And I would say nope... he can't go with us... but that's just the dad of a 4 yr old girl talking

[RevSmoke]

Tell the daughter the he can go along - if , and only if the boyfriend comes to you, asks if he can come along, after introducing himself, shaking your hand and spending a little time talking to you.

If he cannot do that, then no, he cannot go along.

I had a girl I dated for about a year while in high school, her dad and I became very close. When she and I broke up, he and I still did stuff together on occasion.

Man cannot face the father, he doesn't deserve to date the daughter.

And yeah, I know the rules are meant to be humorous - but there is much to be said for the truthes contained therein.

Peace of the Lord be with you.

[jledou]

Around the area Andy there is Outlaw - North and South locations, Diebels on the Plaza and their south store in Leawood and Cigar&Tabac in Overland Park. All are a little drive from Bonner unfortunately.

[Blak Smyth]

Okay here are two examples of why you gotta watch out for your daughters, even if they are right next to you.

I know "somebody" that was 15 and received an HJ from his girlfriend while riding in the back seat of her family car, while her mom was driving. On another occasion this "somebody" got an HJ from her again while watching a movie in the living room of her house while watching the movie IT, her mom was in the other room cooking dinner.

Lesson for parents:
Don't trust boys and girls, they are always up to no good.


Note: Maybe Slug didn't talk to you because you scare him, fear goes a long way at preventing premature HJ's!

I hope this wasn't too racy! Sorry if it was.

[N2 GOLD]

[QUOTE=Subvet642;1309524]I would let him go, but read him this:

Ten Simple Rules for
Dating My Daughter

LOVE the rules but I still vote for NO slug...-(P

[Starscream]

I'm not concerned about hanky panky or anything like that. There would be three altogether and not a big deal.
His mom married into a family that owns a dealership, he's spoiled, lazy, and I don't care for him.
He never shook my hand or introduced himself, he was afraid to come up and try to talk to me when I was sitting outside in the lawn with a cigar and drink.
And hopefully the days on this puppy live relationship are numbered but likely not until after July 6.
Posted via Mobile Device

Is he an outgoing person or loudmouth? If not, he could be an introvert and shy, which would make the case for him not going up to you and introducing himself. He could have been scared.:D

[Bill86]

He never shook my hand or introduced himself, he was afraid to come up and try to talk to me when I was sitting outside in the lawn with a cigar and drink.
And hopefully the days on this puppy live relationship are numbered but likely not until after July 6.
Posted via Mobile Device

You answered your own question. Nope. He stays behind. Further more explain to your daughter the importance of an introduction and not being a weasily little $hit.

:2

[blugill]

You answered your own question. Nope. He stays behind. Further more explain to your daughter the importance of an introduction and not being a weasily little $hit.

:2

Agreed completely!
However the decision has been made and it was to keep the peace between my wife and I more than between the daughter and I.
Slug is riding along BUT he will pay for a full tank of gas, a considerable sum since I drive a Tahoe:)

[racerX]

Wise choice and one you may be glad you made when the sun goes down on July 6th in Bonner springs. This also gives you an opening to call Slugs folks for a little back ground check.:2

[forgop]

The joys of teenage daughters. I have an 8 year old that's going on 18 in her opinion. First thing is that my daughter won't be leaving the house without said introduction and a full account of where they're going and who they will be with. If they're going to be with friends, I will need phone numbers of those parents to ensure they're aware of the same story. The young man will also go on a walk with me around the block explaining the expectations of dating my daughter in terms of never lying to me, if they're anywhere that something is taking place that she shouldn't be around, they leave and notify me, no drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and she better be home by curfew. Failure to comply will result in him being found floating in my pond from an accidental drowning.

It also just happens that I have a MobileMe account and my daughters phones will be linked. It can give me their location at any moment. Failure to be where they're supposed to be when they say they'll be there will result in me hunting them down and dragging him out by his ear with a pair of pliers.

But that's just me.

[Remo]

Just don't bury the bodies in your yard, and unless there is video evidence, deny, deny, deny :tu

[shark]

Even when I was in my thirties and dating, I took the time to meet my girlfriend's parents, and made it a point to leave them with a good impression of me.

[shark]

The joys of teenage daughters. I have an 8 year old that's going on 18 in her opinion. First thing is that my daughter won't be leaving the house without said introduction and a full account of where they're going and who they will be with. If they're going to be with friends, I will need phone numbers of those parents to ensure they're aware of the same story. The young man will also go on a walk with me around the block explaining the expectations of dating my daughter in terms of never lying to me, if they're anywhere that something is taking place that she shouldn't be around, they leave and notify me, no drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and she better be home by curfew. Failure to comply will result in him being found floating in my pond from an accidental drowning.

It also just happens that I have a MobileMe account and my daughters phones will be linked. It can give me their location at any moment. Failure to be where they're supposed to be when they say they'll be there will result in me hunting them down and dragging him out by his ear with a pair of pliers.

But that's just me.


I like the way this man thinks! After all, we were all teenagers at one point. I'll leave it at that! :D

[Eleven]

It may not be the best thing in the world for you at the time, but several hours together in a car may just be the ticket to drive them apart.
BTW let us know if you have some free time in while you are in the area.


QFT.

I had this unbelievably cute girlfriend when I was 17, she was 15. I went on a weekend trip with her and the rest of her immediate family. I literally could not wait to get back home, and I broke up with her the very next time I saw her.

I wish you luck!

[neoflex]

I would have stuck to my guns and left him behind but maybe the long ride in the car will be good as maybe he will open up to you finally.
When I was in Jr High and High School and was a dirt bag when it came to girls but I always made sure to introduce myself to the parents especially the Fathers. Hell most of the parents loved me until I dumped their daughters a few weeks later but I learned early that if the parents liked you it made things easier especially being left alone with their daughters.:D This is why even before we tried having kids I knew I would have a daughter first and can guarantee that the next one will be a girl too. "Karma works in strange ways :hn" Hell, I remember one girl I dated that I had to get rid of her because she was a complete psycho but it was tough because I actually enjoyed hanging out with her dad as we would often hang out in the garage and have a beer together and talk cars and actually stuck around too long because of it. Hopefully if he is as bad as you think it will be a short lived relationship. If not hopefully the ride will help open up the lines of communication between the two of you. Good luck.:tu

[Big_Ern]

just make sure he sits up front next to you for the ride there and back. otherwise one might crash due from staring in the rear view mirror. you could also let him know you have a meat grinder and really good friend who is a hog farmer in the next state!:D:D

[Blak Smyth]

I just watched Uncle Buck this weekend and this thread made me think of when he puts Bug in his truck.

[68TriShield]

I say no.It seems nobody has given him a talk on how to be a man and meet and shake hands with the dad.
And that shows a lack of respect on his part.If he can't figure that out on his own,his personality leaves much to be desired.
He obviously hasn't had any guidance from his own father or step father.

[DPD6030]

I'm with most here and say no. If he can't respect you and shake your hand and have a talk with you then how is he going to respect your daughter. :td to taking him.

[justonemorestick]

Take him along but first take him out in the woods desert old farmland etc and give him a shovel and make him dig the hole for you and explain that you have rules and expectations that he will take care of your daughter and her friend and respect your rules. After that let him go besides if she has stupid with her she has at least one reason not to hookup with Mr Concert Dumass while she is there.

[kelmac07]

I'd say no as well...she is 16 and should consider herself lucky to be going with her best friend. That should be enough. But I realize kids today are part of that "instant gratification" generation. The expect everything NOW. Best of luck in your decision dad.

[area51]

Nothing good will come of him going, or him staying behind.

[blugill]

Nothing good will come of him going, or him staying behind.

Don't I know it.
Thankfully I believe the shelf life on this boyfriend is short lived.

[Gophernut]

Don't I know it.
Thankfully I believe the shelf life on this boyfriend is short lived.

They mostly all are at that age. Don't sweat it. Be nice, the kid is probably just afraid of you. I know my daughter's "boyfriends" all were of me.