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View Full Version : Holy crap....COLLARDS


OLS
01-28-2011, 07:22 AM
I am a guy who has a definite line drawn over what "THEY" eat and what "I " eat. And collards were
always on the other side of that line. Giant jars of pink liquid, in which are suspended all manner of
pig artifacts are another. I made an exception for a pig ear sammich in Jackson, MS one time and
I was OK with it in the end, although my stomach regretted it later. But Collards have always been
food for other folks. Well the older you get, the more you are affected by the fact that all of us should
eat more green leafy vegetables. So in the Supermercado yesterday buying cheese and a double boiler,
I tossed in a couple bunches of collards. No problem, I knew that even vegetables I like like cucumbers
and squash have died squishy, moldy deaths in my fridge. No reason to suspect these would ever
actually get eaten, so it was safe enough.

2 Bunches of collards - washed in salt water
1 large stockpot and a colander
3 tablespoons vegetagle oil
3 tablespoons flour
1 med or large onion.

1.Rinse your collards in warm salty water, cleaning every leaf.
2.trim greens from stems if you prefer
3.In a large stockpot boil 3/4 pot of water with liberal salt
4.immerse greens and boil for 15 mins
5.drain in colander. If you have none, just drain as best you can, its' not critical.
6.chop onion to your preferred size, I am lazy I leave em in large pieces
7.return pot to flame and make a roux with oil and flour.
when roux is getting caramel colored heading for dark brown, immediately
throw in onions to stop the roux cooking
8.stir onions well to coat with roux and cook on low med til onions wilt and
turn clear.
9.toss in drained greens and simmer covered for 30-40 mins, add a few
shakes of garlic powder and salt or maybe even garlic salt :D
10. eat this masterpiece with satisfaction.

One pity is that though these have intense anti-oxidants and good vitamins, many WILL likely
be lost in the cooking, but not nearly as many as with other foods, or processed foods. These
are really freaking good for you. And if you follow this recipe, really freaking good. MANY people
also include some sausage or bacon while the roux is cooking down the onions. I had none
thawed or available, so I did not, and let me tell you, it DIDN'T MATTER...DAMN these were good.

Smokin Gator
01-28-2011, 07:45 AM
Blasphemy I tell you... the only way to cook collard greens is with a couple of big pieces of country ham and some soul food seasoning!!! Plus you have to simmer them for hours!!!

OLS
01-28-2011, 08:03 AM
Collards are the big leaves that look like broccoli foliage, right??
I don't know, I put mine on and went out for a 30-40 min walk and came back and they tasted GREAT.
The meat thing WAS kind of a bummer for me. How a man can have a freezer packed with meat and
no meat for the greens is just sad.

Be it noted, folks, I have blasphemed. So take my recipe with a huge grain of garlic salt.

wayner123
01-28-2011, 08:05 AM
Blasphemy I tell you... the only way to cook collard greens is with a couple of big pieces of country ham and some soul food seasoning!!! Plus you have to simmer them for hours!!!

:tpd:

Or you can cheat a little and do them this way:

Get a bushel of greens and wash them thoroughly. Then get a cast iron skillet big enough to hold all the greens in a mound. Fry up some bacon (how much is up to you) then drain half the bacon grease out and chop up the bacon. Add the greens to the same pan and stir to coat. Put a lid on the greens when they have wilted a bit. After they have simmered for about 30 minutes, take from the pan and put in a bowl, then add chopped bacon from before. Throw a few dashes of real pepper juice on them and then promptly slap yo' mama.

hscmit
01-28-2011, 08:41 AM
:tpd:

Or you can cheat a little and do them this way:

Get a bushel of greens and wash them thoroughly. Then get a cast iron skillet big enough to hold all the greens in a mound. Fry up some bacon (how much is up to you) then drain half the bacon grease out and chop up the bacon. Add the greens to the same pan and stir to coat. Put a lid on the greens when they have wilted a bit. After they have simmered for about 30 minutes, take from the pan and put in a bowl, then add chopped bacon from before. Throw a few dashes of real pepper juice on them and then promptly slap yo' mama.

this is also acceptable

love greens

tobii3
01-28-2011, 08:59 AM
Blasphemy I tell you... the only way to cook collard greens is with a couple of big pieces of country ham and some soul food seasoning!!! Plus you have to simmer them for hours!!!

:tpd:

+ 3

OLS
01-28-2011, 09:01 AM
I guess word of your banishment was premature, lol. I saw you pop up in a thread the other day and
thought, wait, didn't it used to say "BANNED!" under tobii's avatar?? Odd.

wayner123
01-28-2011, 09:04 AM
I forgot to add, you MUST save the liquid from the greens. This is called 'pot liquor' and is meant to be sipped like a fine scotch.

Smokin Gator
01-28-2011, 09:25 AM
I forgot to add, you MUST save the liquid from the greens. This is called 'pot liquor' and is meant to be sipped like a fine scotch.

Nectar of the Gods right there!!!

wayner123
01-28-2011, 09:32 AM
Nectar of the Gods right there!!!

LOL

Growing up we used to eat collards or mustards almost once a week. The best ones I ever had were made by a little old lady that my dad and I used to stop at while he was doing his visiting rounds. Her cast iron skillet was passed down to her and she was at least 70 years old. She made them according to the method I posted above, but I swear you could taste the love of 80+ year old skillet. Not to mention she grew her own greens and peppers.

She would also make the appropriate corn bread in the same skillet. Collards, cornbread and ham make for a lunch you will remember.

rizzle
02-01-2011, 03:10 PM
Not many things in the world that I can't eat, but I can't eat greens. I've tried, and will try again, but I just don't like 'em. Funny thing is, my mom says I loved them when I was little. I certainly don't remember ever liking them.

OLS
02-01-2011, 03:21 PM
Opposite for me, Rizz, I have eaten them only off and on as an adult, and as a kid I would gag over spinach
or anything that looked like it. But the taste, to me, was so good, I will not be a stranger.

bajaraider
02-01-2011, 03:23 PM
It has been a long time since I have had collard greens! Or Kale, or good home made spinach!
Sounds kinda tasty on a freezing day like today!

The Poet
02-01-2011, 03:27 PM
WTF? Did I miss something here? As far as I saw, nobody mentioned putting vinegar on the greens before you eat 'em! Me, I can't eat greens any other way.

76GTFan
02-01-2011, 11:30 PM
WTF? Did I miss something here? As far as I saw, nobody mentioned putting vinegar on the greens before you eat 'em! Me, I can't eat greens any other way.

That's what the pepper juice is for. Best of both worlds.

wayner123
02-02-2011, 08:06 AM
That's what the pepper juice is for. Best of both worlds.

Thanks for pointing that out. I didn't want to :sl him around

And if you don't know what real pepper juice is:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_73eLqCVic94/SHgNf_YOsVI/AAAAAAAAAY4/rsyyOpUzGEw/s400/img293.jpg

BigAsh
02-02-2011, 09:17 AM
hahaha....."found" a bottle of "pepper juice" in the back of a kitchen cabinet last week....unopened/never used....that'll change!....I love collards and all greens....great side to Que....make a great Portuguese kale soup "Caldo Verde" too!

OLS
02-02-2011, 10:01 AM
WTF? Did I miss something here? As far as I saw, nobody mentioned putting vinegar on the greens before you eat 'em! Me, I can't eat greens any other way.What else would we expect from a Pork roller, lol.

Starscream
02-02-2011, 10:21 AM
Where's the sugar in the recipes above? Collards are much better when there's a little sugar in the recipe.

guitar4001
02-28-2011, 05:29 PM
Blasphemy I tell you... the only way to cook collard greens is with a couple of big pieces of country ham and some soul food seasoning!!! Plus you have to simmer them for hours!!!

Damn right!

guitar4001
02-28-2011, 05:31 PM
Thanks for pointing that out. I didn't want to :sl him around

And if you don't know what real pepper juice is:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_73eLqCVic94/SHgNf_YOsVI/AAAAAAAAAY4/rsyyOpUzGEw/s400/img293.jpg

fer shizzle.

HollywoodQue
02-28-2011, 05:40 PM
Blasphemy I tell you... the only way to cook collard greens is with a couple of big pieces of country ham and some soul food seasoning!!! Plus you have to simmer them for hours!!!

I couldn't have said it better Brent..

Powers
02-28-2011, 05:45 PM
Blasphemy I tell you... the only way to cook collard greens is with a couple of big pieces of country ham and some soul food seasoning!!! Plus you have to simmer them for hours!!!

:tpd:

Although I do have a *cough* Yankee *cough* Aunt who heard that you could wash collards in the washing machine......but she didn't put it on a low setting so they were picking collards off their clothes for weeks :lr