Skydiving Accident- Big Owie!

[Katmancross]

2001. I was at a company weekend at a KOA in Sonoma, CA. Found out a small airport was adjacent offering skydiving. I was 51 at the time. I jumped 38 times at the age of 29 but not since. So rather than go through 8 hours of training to do a static line jump, I did a tandem.
The schmuck that was my man bragged about how many thousands of jumps he had done.. Yeah, yeah.
We jump from 19,000 feet.
Around 7,000 feet we pull the rip cord. My head flies back and clocks him in the jaw and knocks him out. So instead of floating down like a butterfly and coming to the ground on tippy toes, he drove me into the ground at 35mph...and no helmet for me because it would look better in the video.
When I woke up, everything was broken.
Didn't walk again until 2003. Didn't work again until 2005.
Never had any surgery. Those damn orthopods would see me for 5 minutes and rub their greedy hands together. I refused all surgery. So instead, I sought out pain management.
Now that I'm an old fart, the pain is off the scale.
Had my first MRI's today in 7 years.
Lots of herniated discs and lots of other problems.
I sort of knew that because the pain had to come from somewhere. But I lost my job in Dec 2008 and haven't worked since. I'm a structural engineer in commercial construction. No one is hiring guys my age.
I qualified for Medicaid two weeks ago.
My wife and I live in my daughter's basement.
I used to buy lots of cigars. No more. A small budget per month. I cherish all of them.
I'm still not going to have surgery. When I'm crippled and can't walk, maybe then.
Back pain is a *****. Just wondered if I could hear other horror stories about human structural destruction.

[BSB]

HOLY F_ING SH*T! Makes me very happy I never tried to skydiving.

[Katmancross]

HOLY F_ING SH*T! Makes me very happy I never tried to skydiving.

It's a whole bunch of fun except for that last foot if something goes wrong.

[BSB]

It's a whole bunch of fun except for that last foot if something goes wrong.

Uh huh, okay :confused:

[forgop]

All the more reason I'll refuse to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

Sorry to hear that.

[Jhooker]

I have never been in a plane, and I sure as heck aint jumping out of one! But glad your here to share that story with us brother!

[Tyler]

Dang bro that really sucks! My sister went skydiving and loved it. I always have the worst luck when it comes to trying new things. Something always goes wrong lol. I hope your condition gets better though.

[Katmancross]

All the more reason I'll refuse to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

Sorry to hear that.

If I had a dime anytime anyone said that to me...
First of all, if you've ever seen the inside of the jump planes, you wouldn't call them a perfectly good airplane. The look like the inside of a partially wired dump truck. You can't wait to get out.
If you don't kill yourself, the rush is nothing like anything you've experienced in your life. Drugs don't even come close to approximating the adrenaline rush.
And unlike the films you've seen where it looks like everyone is flying...you're not. You're falling at 130mph. Like a boulder. You're supposed to keep your mouth shut when you are free falling. But it's fun to open it up and watch your face blow up like a balloon.
Everyone should do it once in their lifetime. I was a fluke.

[forgop]

If I had a dime anytime anyone said that to me...


I'm sure you've heard it a lot...but I also have a pilot's license, hence my logic to stay behind the yoke. If the plane isn't going down, I'm sure not jumping out of it on my own accord.

[icehog3]

I did quite a bit of skydiving in my 30's, Phillip. A bad last jump convinced me to give it up. Luckily it was the freefall and not the landing where I had the problem.

[replicant_argent]

I did quite a bit of skydiving in my 30's, Phillip. A bad last jump convinced me to give it up. Luckily it was the freefall and not the landing where I had the problem.

And all this time, I thought the look of that mug was simple genetics...
Go Figger....





:r:O:lr

[Superbad]

I am a licensed Paraglider pilot, running off a cliff with inflated glider, and have flown planes. I once experienced "parachutage" basically a partially slowed fall off a cliff for 100' That HURT! I can't even imagine how hard you hit.

[bobarian]

I stuck one of my smoking fingers on a thorn bush today. Almost kept me from smoking a cigar for a good 15 minutes! :banger

[pnoon]

And all this time, I thought the look of that mug was simple genetics...
Go Figger....





:r:O:lr
Now that has to be one of the funniest posts since the birth of Cigar Asylum.
:lr

[icehog3]

And all this time, I thought the look of that mug was simple genetics...
Go Figger....





:r:O:lr

http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa73/icehog3/douchebag2-1.jpg

;)

[T.G]

Some old lady turned me into a newt once.



I got better.

[Zeuceone]

Was thinking about going to do this for my upcoming birthday but that's a good reason not to. Hope everything works out for the better for you.

[Ahbroody]

And all this time, I thought the look of that mug was simple genetics...
Go Figger....





:r:O:lr

That got rep. I laughed so hard it hurt. :tu

[Katmancross]

I'm sure you've heard it a lot...but I also have a pilot's license, hence my logic to stay behind the yoke. If the plane isn't going down, I'm sure not jumping out of it on my own accord.

Duane,
I'm sure your plane or any plane you fly is very nice. I jumped out of Cessna 183's and everything was ripped out behind the pilot's seat. The door was gone.
The interior wiring is hanging down instead of taped in place.
And the only thing in the back is a giant eye bolt welded to the steel floor for static line jumps. And then they shove3 jumpers and a jump master in this tiny plane and your legs are on top of the other guy's shoulders and you can't move while you wait for the plane to reach elevation. Really, you can't wait to get out.

An old dear friend has a passion for flying. He's owned a plane forever. He finally went to a double engine plane a couple years ago, and now he's sorry he did because of the double maintenance.
He's let me fly a couple times and I don't like it. It's too stressful. I couldn't see the fun in it. Too many things to keep track of. I prefer to fall out of a plane and break my body.

[Katmancross]

I am a licensed Paraglider pilot, running off a cliff with inflated glider, and have flown planes. I once experienced "parachutage" basically a partially slowed fall off a cliff for 100' That HURT! I can't even imagine how hard you hit.

Bobby,

You're nuts!!
I've seen guys do this.I'm sure it's an incredible rush....but my God, it looks so dangerous.
The only thing I remember about hitting the ground was the "ooomph" and then my head digging a long trench and hearing my spine crackle as it compressed and then I was out cold.

[Katmancross]

Was thinking about going to do this for my upcoming birthday but that's a good reason not to. Hope everything works out for the better for you.

Hey...Do it!
Accidents happen everywhere.
Even if you only do it once. Do it.
It's something you'll remember your whole life...unless you die.

[kaisersozei]

Hey...Do it!
Accidents happen everywhere.
Even if you only do it once. Do it.
It's something you'll remember your whole life...unless you die.

You'd still remember it, just for not as long.

[tobii3]

Just wondered if I could hear other horror stories about human structural destruction

I earned the title of "Robo-Jew" a while ago.

Being able to set off a metal detector wearing nothing but your underwear does lead to some great conversations.

Left foot is held together with screws and plates.

Left knee has zero stability left (mulitiple ACL/PCL/LCL/MCL injuries and Patellar tendon tears)

Left hip has a bolt in it.

Left scapula has a plate with three screws.

Right lower jaw has a plate and two implants.

Tailbone removed (easier to explain than naming the surgery - normal responses are "'WHAT WAS CUT OFF????"")

Fractured a total of 9 vertebrae - but no breaks (thank G-d!).

oh yeah...I'm a paratooper in the US Army...graduated Jump School in 1990 :banger

[mosesbotbol]

Hey...Do it!
Accidents happen everywhere.
Even if you only do it once. Do it.
It's something you'll remember your whole life...unless you die.

Got to agree, I remember it like yesterday and rush once I landed was one of the biggest I ever felt. Talk about feeling alive!



19000 ft is really high, wow!

I did a free fall parachute jump once about 12 years ago. Had to take a weekend course and I think we jumped at 13000 ft. I had maybe 30 seconds of free fall with an instructor on each side of me watching me complete the steps to "pass the jump".

I am sorry to read you have gone through so much pain and suffering. Not to rub it in, but my landing was like a two foot jump onto a pillow. One of my friends fluffed his chute too early and smacked the ground. The other friend did it fine like me.

We you able to steer the chute or were the cables too far behind you?

[Katmancross]

Got to agree, I remember it like yesterday and rush once I landed was one of the biggest I ever felt. Talk about feeling alive!



19000 ft is really high, wow!

I did a free fall parachute jump once about 12 years ago. Had to take a weekend course and I think we jumped at 13000 ft. I had maybe 30 seconds of free fall with an instructor on each side of me watching me complete the steps to "pass the jump".

I am sorry to read you have gone through so much pain and suffering. Not to rub it in, but my landing was like a two foot jump onto a pillow. One of my friends fluffed his chute too early and smacked the ground. The other friend did it fine like me.

We you able to steer the chute or were the cables too far behind you?


I don't remember.

[Katmancross]

I earned the title of "Robo-Jew" a while ago.

Being able to set off a metal detector wearing nothing but your underwear does lead to some great conversations.

Left foot is held together with screws and plates.

Left knee has zero stability left (mulitiple ACL/PCL/LCL/MCL injuries and Patellar tendon tears)

Left hip has a bolt in it.

Left scapula has a plate with three screws.

Right lower jaw has a plate and two implants.

Tailbone removed (easier to explain than naming the surgery - normal responses are "'WHAT WAS CUT OFF????"")

Fractured a total of 9 vertebrae - but no breaks (thank G-d!).

oh yeah...I'm a paratooper in the US Army...graduated Jump School in 1990 :banger


Was it from one jump or several and if several, how many did it take before they said "You're done."

[Katmancross]

I earned the title of "Robo-Jew" a while ago.

Being able to set off a metal detector wearing nothing but your underwear does lead to some great conversations.

Left foot is held together with screws and plates.

Left knee has zero stability left (mulitiple ACL/PCL/LCL/MCL injuries and Patellar tendon tears)

Left hip has a bolt in it.

Left scapula has a plate with three screws.

Right lower jaw has a plate and two implants.

Tailbone removed (easier to explain than naming the surgery - normal responses are "'WHAT WAS CUT OFF????"")

Fractured a total of 9 vertebrae - but no breaks (thank G-d!).

oh yeah...I'm a paratooper in the US Army...graduated Jump School in 1990 :banger


I'm guessing you are living off the teat of the US Government at this point?
I can't imagine being able to do much with that kind of damage.

[kaisersozei]

I earned the title of "Robo-Jew" a while ago.



"Terminator" is more like it :tu

[tobii3]

Was it from one jump or several and if several, how many did it take before they said "You're done."

I had to argue with a few Doc's before I got one to authorize me to jump again.

Two total malfunctions; one partial malfunction; two trees; one missed Drop Zone; one runway (twice - same runway); three buildings; one deuce and a half and one HMMWV.

None of the injuries were sustained from the jumps. The landings, however, accounted for quite a few...

I'm guessing you are living off the teat of the US Government at this point?
I can't imagine being able to do much with that kind of damage.

It's really easy...if it doesn't hurt....it doesn't work.

[St. Lou Stu]

I had to argue with a few Doc's before I got one to authorize me to jump again.

Two total malfunctions; one partial malfunction; two trees; one missed Drop Zone; one runway (twice - same runway); three buildings; one deuce and a half and one HMMWV.

None of the injuries were sustained from the jumps. The landings, however, accounted for quite a few...



It's really easy...if it doesn't hurt....it doesn't work.

Dude.... you hit a deuce and a half?
WTF? did it sneak out in front of you?:sh

[replicant_argent]

He didn't say he was any good at jumping out of planes, Tim! LOL

Accident prone in the dark? Yeah.. that's another matter, eh, Tobster? ;)

[Katmancross]

I had to argue with a few Doc's before I got one to authorize me to jump again.

Two total malfunctions; one partial malfunction; two trees; one missed Drop Zone; one runway (twice - same runway); three buildings; one deuce and a half and one HMMWV.

None of the injuries were sustained from the jumps. The landings, however, accounted for quite a few...



It's really easy...if it doesn't hurt....it doesn't work.

Jesus Tobi!!!
How old are you?
After I broke my foot on my 38th jump, I gave it up. My boss told me, "You get in a car accident, we understand. You throw your ass out of an airplane, F-U!"
So that was the end of that.

You're a crazy man! LOL!
I bet you're fun with a couple of drinks in you.

[replicant_argent]

Jesus Tobi!!!
How old are you?
After I broke my foot on my 38th jump, I gave it up. My boss told me, "You get in a car accident, we understand. You throw your ass out of an airplane, F-U!"
So that was the end of that.

You're a crazy man! LOL!
I bet you're fun with a couple of drinks in you.

Tobs first jump was out of a hot air balloon at Napoleans request.

[Katmancross]

I had to argue with a few Doc's before I got one to authorize me to jump again.

Two total malfunctions; one partial malfunction; two trees; one missed Drop Zone; one runway (twice - same runway); three buildings; one deuce and a half and one HMMWV.

None of the injuries were sustained from the jumps. The landings, however, accounted for quite a few...



It's really easy...if it doesn't hurt....it doesn't work.


You never answered. What do you do know? Besides limp.

[replicant_argent]

Technically, Tob invented the sport when he was diving off the elephants when Hannibal brought them across the Alps, but it wasn't really "Sky" diving. Just Tob being drunk, accident prone, and trying to impress the locals with his witty ways.

[Katmancross]

I had to argue with a few Doc's before I got one to authorize me to jump again.

Two total malfunctions; one partial malfunction; two trees; one missed Drop Zone; one runway (twice - same runway); three buildings; one deuce and a half and one HMMWV.

None of the injuries were sustained from the jumps. The landings, however, accounted for quite a few...



It's really easy...if it doesn't hurt....it doesn't work.

I'm scared to death of having surgeries on my back and neck. What kind of re-hab did you go through?
I haven't had a pain free day in 10 years. But the thought of letting some orthopod stick a knife into me and "fix" me doesn't comfort me. I know very few people that had back or neck surgeries and said, "Boy! Am I glad I did that!"

[Katmancross]

Technically, Tob invented the sport when he was diving off the elephants when Hannibal brought them across the Alps, but it wasn't really "Sky" diving. Just Tob being drunk, accident prone, and trying to impress the locals with his witty ways.

So Tobi is around 85 years old? Or just looks it?

[J0eybb]

Tobii is around 85 thousand years old.

[replicant_argent]

So Tobi is around 85 years old? Or just looks it?

Tob was 85 when fire was invented, they had to invent it to warm the cave, and figured 85 candles would take the chill off.

[Katmancross]

Tob was 85 when fire was invented, they had to invent it to warm the cave, and figured 85 candles would take the chill off.

This is the funniest g*d d**n thread I've ever seen.
None have ever made me laugh out loud so much.
I like this a lot better than being skewered personally by guys that hate my ridiculous Katman reviews.
You guys are a lot more fun.

[Springsman]

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

[tobii3]

Holy crap...I can just FEEL the love here....

You never answered. What do you do know? Besides limp.

I've been known to drool, swing a frozen salmon or two, fall over my walker and occasionally get too drunk to type...or too drunk to occasionally type...or just drunk...

Long story short, according to the Army, who NEVER makes a mistake, I am a 25B - Informations Systems Operator-Analyst.

Even G-d doesn't know WTF that has to do with my job these days -

I started out a 72E but that was combined with a 72G then restructured to a 74C and further streamlined as a 25D that would be deactivated and redesignated a 25B. All in all, the original job was really cool....until the Internet showed up, that is.

On paper, I'm an Army EKMS manager. In reality, I'm the poor bastard locked in the basement. :r

[Katmancross]

Holy crap...I can just FEEL the love here....



I've been known to drool, swing a frozen salmon or two, fall over my walker and occasionally get too drunk to type...or too drunk to occasionally type...or just drunk...

Long story short, according to the Army, who NEVER makes a mistake, I am a 25B - Informations Systems Operator-Analyst.

Even G-d doesn't know WTF that has to do with my job these days -

I started out a 72E but that was combined with a 72G then restructured to a 74C and further streamlined as a 25D that would be deactivated and redesignated a 25B. All in all, the original job was really cool....until the Internet showed up, that is.

On paper, I'm an Army EKMS manager. In reality, I'm the poor bastard locked in the basement. :r


Because I have a high security clearance, I was able to see your "eyes only" file and found a photo of you at work.

8514

[replicant_argent]

Tob wears shorter skirts/tutus.
and is uglier.

"One ringy dingy... two ringy dingys."

[tobii3]

Because I have a high security clearance, I was able to see your "eyes only" file and found a photo of you at work.

Actually, that was our sister MOS - us "echos" were trained on these -

http://rattrig.com/photo_gallery/Gallery%20Pictures/teletypes%2025pct.jpg

worked on these -

https://www.fairradio.com/_uploaded/509.jpg

Then "upgraded" to these after Desert Shield -

http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/ac/equip/an-ugc144.jpg

Then, of course, the Internet showed up.

And we were put in the basement working behind one of these -

http://www.empiresafe.com/uploads/0000/0011/VD-LeftSwing__2_.JPG

:sh

[HollywoodQue]

Wow

[Katmancross]

Actually, that was our sister MOS - us "echos" were trained on these -

http://rattrig.com/photo_gallery/Gallery%20Pictures/teletypes%2025pct.jpg

worked on these -

https://www.fairradio.com/_uploaded/509.jpg

Then "upgraded" to these after Desert Shield -

http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/ac/equip/an-ugc144.jpg

Then, of course, the Internet showed up.

And we were put in the basement working behind one of these -

http://www.empiresafe.com/uploads/0000/0011/VD-LeftSwing__2_.JPG

:sh


You mixed up the photos. This is where pnoon (Peter) keeps his money and cigars.

[T.G]

Actually, that was our sister MOS - us "echos" ...


Then "upgraded" to these after Desert Shield -

http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/231/anugc144t.jpg



:eek:

[tobii3]

oh no, I know my vault door all too well.

This is where Pete keeps his cigars -

http://www.vinotemp.com/LiveImage.ashx?preset=large&img=ProductPhotos/MetalWalkin.jpg

He has to be able to see THROUGH the door, ya know.....

[HK3-]

Tobs first jump was out of a hot air balloon at Napoleans request.

Isn't he also the father of Chuck Norris? :r

[tobii3]

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

True Story.

:banger

Dude.... you hit a deuce and a half?
WTF? did it sneak out in front of you?:sh

Not exactly.

Exiting the arcraft over Ft Campbell, KY (Suckchon DZ) at night....I was aiming for the turn -in point, identified by a green chemlight.

Only problem was, our hero was using the chemlight to find his lighter in the back of the deuce.

I found the turn-in point, the truck, the Soldier AND his lighter....all at the same time.