WTF is wrong with people?

[gijoey959]

Ok, so I grab my very first Opus X ever, and start to light it, my lighter runs out of butane. No biggie, I set the garden hose on the tree, run inside and grab my matches.

Now the important part, I start to light it as I exit the house and there is a lady walking by with her kids. I proceed to walk over to the hose, pick it up, and out of no where, the lady walks up, grabs the cigar out of my mouth, and throws it in the water! She proceeded to lecture me about smoking infront of her kids and how bad smoking is, and it goes on for 20 seconds or so before the shock wears off and I give her kind words of my own.

Has anyone else dealt with someone so self righteous that they have done something like that? Or is my luck that good?:tf

[Eleven]

:np

[massphatness]

wow - that's NUTS.

I think I might be in jail if that happened to me.

[GolfNut]

WTF??!! That's assault! File charges! She should teach her kids about respect for others!

[maninblack]

Oh hell no! That's a a damn tragedy! I would tell her what it cost and make her pay for a new one.

[GTCanuk]

Was this a neighbor ?:td. Were you on your property

[hscmit]

thats some bull$#it

[GolfNut]

Plus the B!tch needs to make a formal apology to you in front of her kids AND replace the damned cigar!

[EricF]

wow - that's NUTS.

I think I might be in jail if that happened to me.

I'd be in the cell next to ya Vin!

That's reall ballsy!

[loki]

i'd have punched her dead in the face

[smelvis]

Those kids would have heard some words I'm sorry, That is just un F**king believable jeez how would anyone think that was okay to do?

[gijoey959]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c354/5081701/2010-10-26181751.jpg
I pitched my fallen comrade, but here he is before the accident xD

Haha, I don't even know who she was or I'd have a much longer story, I just let her walk off, she's gonna have to explain the meaning of enough words to her children anyway :tu

[pektel]

i'd have punched her dead in the face

I'm with this guy. Either that or grab her and throw her face in that same water and make her fish the wet cigar out with her teeth.

I can't believe that. When I read it, I got that rage-induced tunnel vision. Glad it didn't happen to me.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Dunkel]

I'd have farted violently in her mouth.

[neoflex]

She deserves to be beat with the hose. That's pretty ballsy of her. She obviously has a husband that lets her walk all over him and run the household as she clearly feels she can treat everyone like sh*t and that her sh*t doesn't stink. If she was cute than she deserves to have you PIIHB.:r

[Martel]

Seriously, was she on your property? That would make it even worse.

Cheers,
G

[GolfNut]

I keep waiting for him to come out and say"just kidding guys". Outrageous.

[E.J.]

Oh hell no! That's a a damn tragedy! I would tell her what it cost and make her pay for a new one.

The best answer so far IMO.... Assuming this was a neighbor or the like, I'd probably explain that she just dumped $15 of my money on that cigar and leave it at that.

People are going to make irrational decisions that affect me.... I am going to do my best to try to not make irrational decisions that continue that momentum.

[pektel]

Lol @ piihb. Shoulda done it regardless out of spite.
Posted via Mobile Device

[gijoey959]

Well, I was kinda on kinda off my property, I was standing next to the mail boxes for the neighborhood, but I have no clue where she is from since there are apartments across the street and 3 other neighborhoods very close by.

I figure she will think twice about doing that again, she probably leaned some new words

[ChicagoWhiteSox]

Well, I was kinda on kinda off my property, I was standing next to the mail boxes for the neighborhood, but I have no clue where she is from since there are apartments across the street and 3 other neighborhoods very close by.

I figure she will think twice about doing that again, she probably leaned some new words

I thought you were in the process of picking up the water hose when she came over?

[Bruce]

should have sprayed her with the hose as you pretended to retrive your cigar.

[hscmit]

i still cant believe this
I cant even imagine what I would do in the same situation

[gijoey959]

I thought you were in the process of picking up the water hose when she came over?

There are... uhh... idk what kind of trees those are, but yeah, they're by the mail boxes

Don't get me wrong guys, I was angry as a hornet, but what was I gonna do? I'd rather come tell the internet about my problems than spend a night with the friendly neighborhood sherrif's department :r

[bresdogsr]

I would have hosed her off.

[ChicagoWhiteSox]

There are... uhh... idk what kind of trees those are, but yeah, they're by the mail boxes

Don't get me wrong guys, I was angry as a hornet, but what was I gonna do? I'd rather come tell the internet about my problems than spend a night with the friendly neighborhood sherrif's department :r

Maybe they are shrubs:r

[Brutus2600]

Are you kidding? If I saw her again I'd follow her home, find out where she lives, then deliver a letter with an itemized bill for the cigar. Also with a nice note that if payment isn't received that you're sending it to a collection agency.

Sorry to hear this though dude, some people just have no respect or common sense.

[Confederado]

Assault, larceny, and damage to property ... and you set a bad example by smoking?

[gijoey959]

Maybe they are shrubs:r

>_>



<_<

Small trees, shrubs, same thing :r :r :r

[benedic08]

Here's what I would've done in that situation. After her lecture, with a maniac tone tell her "Your lecture only makes my Pen*s HARDER!" Then proceed by inviting her into your house. She's probably gonna start walking away and scare the crap out of her for a while.

[ChicagoWhiteSox]

>_>



<_<

Small trees, shrubs, same thing :r :r :r

:r:r

[njstone]

Oh my gosh. That is illegal! Destruction of personal property! Were you on your own land? Even if it was a public street/apartment complex, etc, as long as it's legal to smoke there she has absolutely no right to do that.

If that happened to me, I would go to her house and speak to her husband and demand a cash payment to compensate for the cigar.

[Gargoyle]

... and they say smokers are rude (which I find to be complete false, btw). What a *****!

[ChicagoWhiteSox]

Wow, now that I actually have thought about it seriously, it's really scary that people these days think they can pull that sh!t. I thought I lived in the US:sh

[RevSmoke]

May have told this before, or at least in part.

Had bought a new pipe - brand new - never smoked, a nice Don Carlos straight billiard. Anyway, picked up the mail, opened my box up, stuck my new pipe in my mouth to see how it felt and drew, and went to WalMart. When I got there, I went inside - unsmoked pipe in my mouth.

So there I am, walking around WallyWorld when this lady spies me, storms over three aisles, and proceeds to tell me how offensive it is that I am smoking a pipe in the storn and how bad it smells, and how inconsiderate I am.

I told here it wasn't lit.

She explained that the smell still bothered her, and continued her tirade.

As she ranted, I buttoned my black shirt collar, took out the white tab in my pocket. and then I took the pipe out of my mouth, interrupted her and said, "Lady, this pipe has NEVER been lit. If you are smelling it, then you have a prophet's nose, for you are smelling the future.

It is then that she noticed my presto magical change and simply stares at my clerical collar, mouth literally hanging open.

In the moment of silence I proceeded to explain to her the 8th Commandment, and how she has just broken it by lying about me - loudly and publically - with no evidence.

As she continued to stare at me, I put my pipe back in my mouth and continued shopping.

A little while later, a little old lady hustles over to me. Thinking I'm going to get it again, I was going to hustle away, but she was too quick. She walks up and asks, "May I smell your pipe, my husband smoked, and I used to love the smell."

I gave her the pipe with a shrug, "Sorry, never been smoked. I just got it today."

"Damn," she said, as she handed back the pipe, "I looks like a nice one though."

It is! And it smokes well.

[Darrell]

I think I might be in jail if that happened to me.

I KNOW I would be in jail. :r

[Cakebread]

May have told this before, or at least in part.

Had bought a new pipe - brand new - never smoked, a nice Don Carlos straight billiard. Anyway, picked up the mail, opened my box up, stuck my new pipe in my mouth to see how it felt and drew, and went to WalMart. When I got there, I went inside - unsmoked pipe in my mouth.

So there I am, walking around WallyWorld when this lady spies me, storms over three aisles, and proceeds to tell me how offensive it is that I am smoking a pipe in the storn and how bad it smells, and how inconsiderate I am.

I told here it wasn't lit.

She explained that the smell still bothered her, and continued her tirade.

As she ranted, I buttoned my black shirt collar, took out the white tab in my pocket. and then I took the pipe out of my mouth, interrupted her and said, "Lady, this pipe has NEVER been lit. If you are smelling it, then you have a prophet's nose, for you are smelling the future.

It is then that she noticed my presto magical change and simply stares at my clerical collar, mouth literally hanging open.

In the moment of silence I proceeded to explain to her the 8th Commandment, and how she has just broken it by lying about me - loudly and publically - with no evidence.

As she continued to stare at me, I put my pipe back in my mouth and continued shopping.

A little while later, a little old lady hustles over to me. Thinking I'm going to get it again, I was going to hustle away, but she was too quick. She walks up and asks, "May I smell your pipe, my husband smoked, and I used to love the smell."

I gave her the pipe with a shrug, "Sorry, never been smoked. I just got it today."

"Damn," she said, as she handed back the pipe, "I looks like a nice one though."

It is! And it smokes well.

:=:

[mariogolbee]

I KNOW I would be in jail. :r

Maybe I could share the cell witcha D?;)

Seriously though. Wow. Some people have issues. Even more issues than I.

[markem]

Let me get this right. You let someone take a cigar out of your mouth?

[Zens7s]

I'd like to say I was surprised but then I saw you live in Texas. I can totally picture some self-righteous suburban house-wife/trophy wife, etc. thinking she could get away with that and not have a guy knock her block off. Where I grew up, 1,000 miles north from where I live now in Texas, some woman pulls that crap and she would have had the hose turned on her.

I've had my fair share of situations with people confronting me about my cigar smoking though, even IN a cigar lounge. My favorites are the men who tell me that as a woman I have no business smoking cigars. Or the women who elect to come over to me and think I'm the easy "sister" to appeal to and get "my men" in line and stop them from smoking. :bx

[stewshi]

HERF at gijoey's?

[SmokinCozy]

This was just funny.........

[Louistogies]

Be glad that wasn't me. Holy $%@T thing would of went down. (Not physically)

[neoflex]

HERF at gijoey's?

How great would that be????

[gijoey959]

Haha, fun as that would be, I won't be here for a while anyway xD we can all get cigars pulled out of our mouths whilst watering tree...shrub hybrids

[Skywalker]

Nope! Your luck's that good!!!:D

[docdoty]

That is absolute insanity. I'm going to say she voted for Obama

[Isom-niac2]

Always heard the steer and women in Texas were a lil ornery!!-(P

[Bill86]

Are you serious?!?!?! My AR-15 might have something to say about that......if not my Microtech OTF DEFINITELY would voice it's opinion. I would have gone to jail and lit up a cigarette RIGHT in her kids face....WHAT A C*NT!

[justonemorestick]

I would have called the police on her to remove her from my property after I defended myself against assault. It would have been good to see her locked up for trespassing, assault, and destruction of property charges.

[area51]

Well atleast you got a chance to improve her vocabulary. But in all reality this whole situation is beyond ridiculous.

[ninjavanish]

So what you're trying to say is that you didn't have another cigar to pull out and blatantly light up in her face as if you weren't the least bit bothered by nor paying attention to her raging? Shame.

[68TriShield]

wow - that's NUTS.

I think I might be in jail if that happened to me.
No might about it.
WTF??!! That's assault! File charges! She should teach her kids about respect for others!

Ain't that the truth.

[BC-Axeman]

I'd have been so shocked I would have zipped up on my hose.

[chachee52]

Man, this is one of those stories that I just couldn't imagine happening. I'd be more upset that she just wasted my money.
Now I admit we have a lot of kids in my neighborhood and i try not to go over and talk to my neighbors when I smoke a cigar while doing yard work out of respect. But you weren't even doing that!!
Hopefully you see her again so you can light up in front of her again!

[Nefari0us]

wow, I would probably end up on jail for murder after that stunt

[gijoey959]

Haha, I may be more of a pacifist than most, but revenge is sweet

I was outside, the morning weather is good today, and I felt like having a cigar in the morning. About 15 minutes in, she starts walking by, sees me, I smile and wave, as my police officer neighbor who had the situation told to him also spots her

Karma is one cold b*ch :tu

[Bunker]

Did you at least get to spray her sorry ass with the hose?

[Skywalker]

Haha, I may be more of a pacifist than most, but revenge is sweet

I was outside, the morning weather is good today, and I felt like having a cigar in the morning. About 15 minutes in, she starts walking by, sees me, I smile and wave, as my police officer neighbor who had the situation told to him also spots her

Karma is one cold b*ch :tu

:tu

[wayner123]

Haha, I may be more of a pacifist than most, but revenge is sweet

I was outside, the morning weather is good today, and I felt like having a cigar in the morning. About 15 minutes in, she starts walking by, sees me, I smile and wave, as my police officer neighbor who had the situation told to him also spots her

Karma is one cold b*ch :tu

:tf

[elderboy02]

Why did you let her take the cigar out of your mouth? Seriously....

Why didn't you knock the hell out of her arm when she reached for you. You should learn to keep a distance between yourself and strangers.

[357]

I would have asked her to pay for it. If she refused she would have gotten the hose until she was out of reach. ;s

[Powers]

WOW that is ridiculous. Can't believe someone would do that, especially in Texas! :gn

[Stevez]

Un-Fu#$#$ing Believable. I think I would have been in shock too and probably not responded the way I would have after the fact. That is just extremely rude.

[jmsremax]

Damn, that lady has quite a big set to come on your property, remove a cigar from your mouth, then proceed to give you a lecture about smoking.

After reading a few posts the first thing that came to mind was the episode of the Chappelle show when Wayne Brady does a skit with Dave. :r

[Garbandz]

I can see the headlines "Man Flogs Self Righteous Woman with Garden Hose for Smoking Infringement While Children Watch" :r :r :r

[G G]

She deserves to be beat with the hose.

It is a favorite saying of mine that a lot of societies ills could be cured with a piece of water hose cut off about two and a half feet long and applied to someones body like a cowwhip.

[CigarNut]

The sad thing here is that this happened at all -- that this women felt she had the *right* to invade his property and his personal space. Even sadder still is that he just took it...

I know thast sometimes when I am stunned by events I get stopped for a moment before I am able to respond. However, I would like to think that in this case I would have at least soaked her with the hose...

[icehog3]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

[BC-Axeman]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.
I used to joke around like this a lot, until I got married. Now I only tell these kind of things to my invisible friends.

[BloodSpite]

I'd be in the cell next to ya Vin!

That's reall ballsy!

Ditto.

Makes me glad I live in the boon docks.

If some woman and her kids are walking down my road they are either really lost or someone dumped them off along with their pets.

[elderboy02]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

That is all you would do? :r

[Goldie]

I would have turned that woman into a drowned rat with that hose.

[BloodSpite]

How great would that be????

Now thats a plan!

[G G]

Tom is bad. :tu

[icehog3]

That is all you would do?

Unless I could find out where her parents and siblings lived.

[massphatness]

You scare me, big man.

[G G]

You scare me, big man.

Plus he has a gun and a badge.

[v00d3W]

In my yard, I do what I want, if someone has a problem with it, they can just look the other way. Furthermore, walking into MY yard and taking a cigar out of MY mouth, thats assault as far as I am concerned.
Tell her good luck hiding your child from viewing anything "unacceptable to her"

You'd need a blind fold and ear plugs for that venture...

[Beklage]

Why did you let her get that close to you? I cant wait until we are having to deal with her yard apes :confused:

[galaga]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

I used to joke around like this a lot, until I got married. Now I only tell these kind of things to my invisible friends.

We are Tom's invisible friends.......;)

Never had someone actually take a cigar out of my mouth. Funny thing, my run-in was at a casino, with a complaining cigarette smoker. Some people have a lot of nerve...

[kydsid]

forget smoking while watering the lawn. you need to set up a table outside and smoke wwhile you clean your firarms. if you are without firearms i can lend you some.
Posted via Mobile Device

[ashtonlady]

Yes if someone had done that to me, I would have turned the hose on them. I love a good water fight. But also as a women, I dont think she would have done it. :)

[Stogeyfish]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Wow, Tom! :tu

It's a fine line we walk from being on either side of the law.

[T.G]

I would have asked her to pay for it. If she refused she would have gotten the hose until she was out of reach. ;s

It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again....

[gorob23]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

:r and YOU WONDER WHY I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!!! :r

ROb :tu

[replicant_argent]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

But Tom, I thought you despised creative repetition?

[Powers]

It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again....

:r

[Subvet642]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Well...that just about takes the steam out of any anger I felt, yikes!

[OLS]

This is where I usually get into the religion argument, but that is not allowed. But you get a lot of that
from people who are so constitutionally protected that they begin to forget that I have rights, too.

But I will relate how a guy got slapped full on the face at work in Meridian Mississippi one day.
It turned to a slap because a punch would have gotten me fired, and a ***** slap seemed the way to go.

New guy walks out to the smoking area, heading for a shoot of some sort, and passes by the outcasts
and says, "hey, can I get one of those??" SO I pull out a Marlboro Light, and seeing it was my last one,
I say "Normally I would never give up my last smoke, but seeing as how you are new..." He breaks it in
half and stomps on the remains and says, "smoking is bad for you" and so I slap him right across the face, hard.
And I said "so is taking a man's last smoke during sweeps when I can't leave the station and I am working
16 hour days you FU^$ing F^@&!" I got called in to my bosses office, not because the guy complained,
but because one of the other smokers told him about it. I thought I was fired. He was too scared to relate
the story apparently. The boss suggested I not put my hands on people I worked with or I might be subject
to not just workplace discipline, but a lawsuit as well. Then he lauged his a$$ off.

[kaisersozei]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

As long as you leave someone alive to tell the tale and warn the others, I'm good with that.

[Beklage]

This is where I usually get into the religion argument, but that is not allowed. But you get a lot of that
from people who are so constitutionally protected that they begin to forget that I have rights, too.

But I will relate how a guy got slapped full on the face at work in Meridian Mississippi one day.
It turned to a slap because a punch would have gotten me fired, and a ***** slap seemed the way to go.

New guy walks out to the smoking area, heading for a shoot of some sort, and passes by the outcasts
and says, "hey, can I get one of those??" SO I pull out a Marlboro Light, and seeing it was my last one,
I say "Normally I would never give up my last smoke, but seeing as how you are new..." He breaks it in
half and stomps on the remains and says, "smoking is bad for you" and so I slap him right across the face, hard.
And I said "so is taking a man's last smoke during sweeps when I can't leave the station and I am working
16 hour days you FU^$ing F^@&!" I got called in to my bosses office, not because the guy complained,
but because one of the other smokers told him about it. I thought I was fired. He was too scared to relate
the story apparently. The boss suggested I not put my hands on people I worked with or I might be subject
to not just workplace discipline, but a lawsuit as well. Then he lauged his a$$ off.
http://www.incompetentpictures.com/sitefiles/Rick%20James%203.jpg

[St. Lou Stu]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Unless I could find out where her parents and siblings lived.

You have just earned the most awesome outside of the box thinking brother of the year award!:banger

[icantbejon]

I keep waiting for him to come out and say"just kidding guys". Outrageous.

Seriously....seems almost impossible to believe.

[CigarNut]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

I used to joke around like this a lot, until I got married. Now I only tell these kind of things to my invisible friends.What makes you think Tom is joking?
:banger

[massphatness]

We are Tom's invisible friends.......;)

I cannot stop "hearing" Rick's post in Fight Club narrator voice:

"I am Jack's smirking revenge."

[gijoey959]

O.o leave for a few hours and the thread sprouts wings

She came up from behind-ish, so by the time I saw the b*ch, it was too late, I don't really like going to jail, so I just verbally assaulted her, and I found out she has been charged with tresspassing, and destruction of property, since the pulling the cigar out of my mouth would be hard to prove :r anyway, $15<permanent record + court fees + any other fees

It all equaled out, plus I just got birthday bombed by my own fiance :r my luck!

[massphatness]

"I am Jack's broken heart."

[Brutus2600]

Oh really? So she did get charged with these things?

Well then while it totally sucks that your cigar was ruined...seems like karma got the best of this psychotic lady. If it were me in your position I would be satisfied with those results!

[gijoey959]

Yep, she's been charged :tu needless to say, I lol'd

[elderboy02]

Yep, she's been charged :tu needless to say, I lol'd

Awesome news! :noon :noon :banger :banger

[awsmith4]

That is awesome news!!!

:tu

[LasciviousXXX]

What makes you think Tom is joking?



Not directed at you, more a general statement... I believe Tom was being ironic in the fact that some of the responses in this thread are a little over the top.

While its upsetting for an unknown person to have destroyed your cigar in that manner, IMO, it is never an acceptable thing to strike a woman no matter how much a cigar is worth or how wrong her actions may be.

A big :2

[sikk50]

I'm glad she got charged.

Someone was smoking a cigar AVO07 I think in his own garage and someone walking by came in the open door pulled it out of his mouth and chucked it then proceeded to yell at him. He got up said he was going in to grab another cigar and his Glock, and it would be in their best interest to vacate his property.

I think it was Warped, but I don't recall. Regardless, I lke that she got charged for general asshattery

[hscmit]

glad karma showed up

[markem]

http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs45/f/2009/128/3/f/_popcorn__by_MenInASuitcase.gif

[forgop]

Glad she got charged. The message everyone seems to have overlooked is why would you choose such a high end stick for doing yard work? ;)

I try to stick with $2-3 gars for yard stuff, but if it's gonna be a ~$10+ cigar, I'm going to relax with it where I'm much less likely to be disturbed.

[ujponds]

Wow dude! That story just ruined my day! I am so angry after reading that and I can't shake it.

[SmokinCozy]

Just like a Texan to put the blame where it doesn't belong.


That is absolute insanity. I'm going to say she voted for Obama

[Beklage]

Just like a Texan to put the blame where it doesn't belong.

Cali VS. Tx in a freedom debate? I think I am going to side with Texas on this one.

[SmokinCozy]

Cali VS. Tx in a freedom debate? I think I am going to side with Texas on this one.

Now, that was funny.......YOU win

[Brutus2600]

:hm Fine line with politics here guys, let's get back to being glad Joey had karma on his side and the crazy lady got what she deserved :tu

[GolfNut]

Who charged her? Couldn't have been for your situation. Was that her job for the day? Going around to smokers and yanking their smoke and someone finally charged her? How'd you find out?

[sikk50]

Who charged her? Couldn't have been for your situation. Was that her job for the day? Going around to smokers and yanking their smoke and someone finally charged her? How'd you find out?

this?

[GolfNut]

The other thing, man, make sure you're out there today at the same time with another cigar going strong. Could be her daily routine. have the hose ready too. :lr

[VTDragon]

I was truly saddened to read this and am glad that she ended up being charged - as was said - Karma on Joey's side.

Regarding all the "I wouldav' done this or that", I think Joey responded exactly right. Remember, in this politically correct enviroment, smokers have less than no rights and as was stated, it is NEVER right to hit a woman. An appropriate verbal response was the best that any man could have immediately done. The whole idea of involving the police, filing complaints, taking her to court, while appealing on the face of it, really is not worth a $15 stick or the time and hassle involved.

Congrats to you Joey for being cool headed under very trying circumstances.

[GolfNut]

Haha, I may be more of a pacifist than most, but revenge is sweet

I was outside, the morning weather is good today, and I felt like having a cigar in the morning. About 15 minutes in, she starts walking by, sees me, I smile and wave, as my police officer neighbor who had the situation told to him also spots her

Karma is one cold b*ch :tu

I missed that post! SWEET. This should be a daily thing for you!

[longknocker]

In my yard, I do what I want, if someone has a problem with it, they can just look the other way. Furthermore, walking into MY yard and taking a cigar out of MY mouth, thats assault as far as I am concerned.
Tell her good luck hiding your child from viewing anything "unacceptable to her"

You'd need a blind fold and ear plugs for that venture...

Only Problem Is, If She Didn't Physically "Touch Him", It's Not "Assault". Talked To A Lawyer About This Today. She Would Be Liable For Replacing The Cigar, Though.

[shilala]

Well handled, Joey. I'm glad it all worked out!!! :tu

[Subvet642]

Only Problem Is, If She Didn't Physically "Touch Him", It's Not "Assault". Talked To A Lawyer About This Today. She Would Be Liable For Replacing The Cigar, Though.

That may vary from state to state. In Massachusetts, you don't have to touch someone to complete the offence of assault; one just needs to make the victim believe they will, IIRC.

[longknocker]

That may vary from state to state. In Massachusetts, you don't have to touch someone to complete the offence of assault, one just needs to make the victim believe they will, IIRC.

Interesting. Thanks For The Info!:tu

[guado]

Best Cigar story I have read all year! Throw the books at her!

[Subvet642]

Interesting. Thanks For The Info!:tu

I'm here to help. :salute:

[sikk50]

Additionally in Cali

PC 242: "A battery is any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another."
PC 240: "An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another."

Basically to commit an assault no physical contact is necessary, should contact be made then she would be charged for battery. :tu

[bigswol2]

I'm not a violent man, and was raised to never raise a hand to a woman...but... I would have punched her in the throat. I had a chick at a 3 card poker table in Vegas ask me to put out a perfection #2.

[ade06]

Only Problem Is, If She Didn't Physically "Touch Him", It's Not "Assault". Talked To A Lawyer About This Today. She Would Be Liable For Replacing The Cigar, Though.

She did "Touch Him". The cigar was in his mouth, therefore it was an extension of him. No different than a guy assaulting a woman by grabbing a woman's loose fitting dress. Well, slight difference, but I think you get the point.

[mhailey]

Additionally in Cali

PC 242: "A battery is any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another."
PC 240: "An assault is an unlawful attempt, coupled with a present ability, to commit a violent injury on the person of another."

Basically to commit an assault no physical contact is necessary, should contact be made then she would be charged for battery. :tu

Also, in most instances, actual physical contact with the person him/herself is not required. If there is contact with an object that is intimately connected with the person that such contact would be deemed contact with the person, then a battery is committed. Think of the scenario that you are holding a plate at a buffet, I walk up and hit the plate out of your hand, this could be considered a battery, just as the cigar instance here.

Now I go back to lurking.

:lv

[688sonarmen]

Her punishment should be having her smoke a dog rocket of your choice.

[LasciviousXXX]

..but... I would have punched her in the throat.

This is why I'm going to try and refrain from posting in this thread any further. Nothing personal against you but I cannot abide by this type of behavior. I'm super laid back but nothing gets me hotter than any man who would lay a hand on a woman under any circumstance. Restraint is sometimes the better part of valor.

[T.G]

You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

[kelmac07]

Wow...just wow!!

[mhailey]

You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

Lighten up Francis

[yourchoice]

Not directed at you, more a general statement... I believe Tom was being ironic in the fact that some of the responses in this thread are a little over the top.

While its upsetting for an unknown person to have destroyed your cigar in that manner, IMO, it is never an acceptable thing to strike a woman no matter how much a cigar is worth or how wrong her actions may be.

A big :2

You're obviously right about Tom's reply, Tyr (I hope! :r)...and I agree with everything else you said. I may have accidently ;) spritzed her shoes though. :)

[kydsid]

i disagree the women who tried to pepper spray me deserved every one of the right hooks i gave her. of course she did outweigh me by about 50lbs too.
Posted via Mobile Device

[elderboy02]

You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll10/Loki99-photos/Francis.jpg

[Lear31MX]

:r:r:r:r please stop it hurts when I laugh this much

[pnoon]

:r:r:r:r please stop it hurts when I laugh this much

Some of the responses are not so funny.
:2

[icehog3]

... I believe Tom was being ironic in the fact that some of the responses in this thread are a little over the top.



Dustin is wise.

Reality: If I saw a "man" punch a woman in the face because she grabbed his cigar, that "man" would possibly be taking a detour to the hospital on his way to jail.

[cigarmonkel]

someone should find her addy and we'll mass bomb her 100 bundles of CFO's! (that way we won't be spending top dollar on wasted cigars). We can send her one cigar a day everyday non stop.

[ade06]

someone should find her addy and we'll mass bomb her 100 bundles of CFO's! (that way we won't be spending top dollar on wasted cigars). We can send her one cigar a day everyday non stop.

:=: I like it!

[oldforge]

It could be a coincidence, but I have never had anyone complain about my cigar while I had my ferocious dog by my side.

Get one--and don't go outside without him.

[bobarian]

And...
and...
and then...

Oh yeah, sadly CFO's are no longer available. :(

[cigarmonkel]

And...
and...
and then...

Oh yeah, sadly CFO's are no longer available. :(

WHAT!? since when!? :(:sad

[bobarian]

WHAT!? since when!? :(:sad

Website has been dead for about a year. LMK if you need some. :banger:tu

[gorob23]

Never had someone actually take a cigar out of my mouth.

Your kidding :sh Mr. nee does it to me all the time. The laugh and throws them away :mad:

Rob :tpd:

[loki]

Dustin is wise.

Reality: If I saw a "man" punch a woman in the face because she grabbed his cigar, that "man" would possibly be taking a detour to the hospital on his way to jail.

speaking of over the top...Hope this never comes back to bite you if you're called to testify in a domestic abuse case tom.

Internets not private. we all have to be careful what we say

[AD720]

I missed this whole thread today. Just wow, wow. Speechless. I'm not sure what I would have done, likely just stood there with my mouth open in shock for a minute.

[Montano]

Oh my !!

[Cigarcop]

Hmmmm.....don't take this the wrong way but I'm raising the BS flag on this one..sorry

[Starscream]

Been said multiple times, but I would have sprayed the lady down with my hose. It's not the right thing to do, but I would have done it anyways.

[warren G.]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uJWxQGGG_oo/S8n_LNCjAQI/AAAAAAAAAE0/L7cdUATQIJ4/s1600/AwesomeThread.jpg

[Smokin Gator]

I'm glad you had some restraint in Texass. :r:r

Were I live many people carry. You come into a person's space uninvited you get shot no questions asked.

[BC-Axeman]

My invisible friends think some of you are nuts.

But I'm still sure if I had my hose out "watering the trees" and a person grabbed a cigar out of my mouth they would get sprinkled.

[GTCanuk]

Yep, she's been charged :tu needless to say, I lol'd

There is justice in this world:banger

[DBall]

I would have gone back into the house and found a small kitchen knife. I would have knocked her down, and slowly sawed off her head right in front of her young child. Then I would have forced the child to drink the blood out of her mother's severed head. Next, I would have the child sent to a shoddy orphanage where she would live the rest of her childhood remembering how rudely her mother acted. Finally, I would have filled the woman's severed head full of diesel fuel, and used it as a molotov cocktail to burn down her house, with her husband and dogs sleeping inside. Yeah. That would teach her.

Tom... I'm glad you have a sense of humor... reading this made me uncontrollably laugh out loud at my desk at work... I needed that, so thanks!

Joey, I think you handled it great and I'm glad to see that things worked out well for you in the end. :tu

[icehog3]

speaking of over the top...Hope this never comes back to bite you if you're called to testify in a domestic abuse case tom.

Internets not private. we all have to be careful what we say

I am less concerned with that, than if I am ever charged with decapitating a woman and drinking the blood from her skull....now they can say it was premeditated. :eek:

[yourchoice]

Tom... I'm glad you have a sense of humor... reading this made me uncontrollably laugh out loud at my desk at work... I needed that, so thanks!


:tpd: Very funny.

[ChicagoWhiteSox]

Tom if you need a partner in crime, I can help:r

[icehog3]

Tom if you need a partner in crime, I can help:r

Herf partner in crime, perhaps, Nate? :)

[ChicagoWhiteSox]

Herf partner in crime, perhaps, Nate? :)

You know it:tu Maybe this January. I have time off of college, and I'll be in downtown Chicago for a bachelors party.

[icehog3]

You know it:tu Maybe this January. I have time off of college, and I'll be in downtown Chicago for a bachelors party.

Sounds like a plan! Find me some cougars!! :D

[ChicagoWhiteSox]

Sounds like a plan! Find me some cougars!! :D

:r:r

No college girls?:D

[ahc4353]

I have been reading this thread so long I forgot, did this happen on a Monday?

[cigarlvr]

Sounds like it is time to sell the house

[Ranger_B]

Wow this thread took off. I can not believe she had that nerve. In front of her kids no less. Well I hope the kids are there if this does go to court to see there are consequences for your actions.

[Madwolf]

file charges for assault and destruction of property.. if she would have done that to me i would have taken a defensive stance and told her to back away as i was calling police.. if she came closer and had her arm at me in any way i would have broke it saying i didnt know what she was doing other than attacking me and i had to defend myself... in ohio if someone comes on your property and attempts to hurt you, you can defend yourself on your property.... if any part of her came close i would have broken it.

She also should be glad it was you and not my neighbor... vet of WWII, korea, and served 2 years eairly part of nam before he said he was done. hes old, his wifes gone, rest her...... and i think he'd shot her.....alot...... because i dont think he cares about jail.

[gijoey959]

O.o everytime I leave this thread grows 2 pages!

Well idk how being charged works, but I'll update if anything else happens I guess xD maybe I'll just let this die, this thread has caused enough trouble :r

[BC-Axeman]

Trouble? Trouble! Just wait till I finish in my laboratory! I will rule the world!
Bwuhahahahahah!
Just a few more drops.

[icehog3]

Need.......more.....brain.....blood. :dr

[bonjing]

Ummm, was she hot?:D

[Ahbroody]

I have been reading this thread so long I forgot, did this happen on a Monday?

wow he does post sometimes. :r



As to original topic, See this is why I never leave the cigar in my mouth its always in my hand. :D

OOOhhhh yeah I would have DDTd her then got up on the roof and dropped a peoples elbow on her. Or maybe down a superfly snooka attack. Seiously hit a stupid women over a her stupid action? Lets settle down. You can only use force to protect yourself or someone else ladies. Hitting a woman? Infront of her kids? Over a 10 dollar cigar? Lifes to short.

Maybe Cali law is different from the rest of the state but you all should read the definition of assualt and battery. :r

[CoreyD]

I woulda dug in my pocket and lit another....

[Subvet642]

For what it's worth, I personally believe that, in the spirit of American egalitarianism, when a woman acts in a brutish or even violent way as this woman clearly has, she has forfeited any social protections which are traditionally afforded to ladies. If society allows a certain percentage of itself to act with impunity, then no one can claim any sort of equality because the rest of society will have been denied the equal protection guaranteed by the XIVth Amendment, perhaps not in a legal way, but certainly in a social way. One cannot claim equality and deference in the same breath. :2

[icehog3]

I missed the part of this story where this woman made any sort of claim for either equality or deference.

[357]

For what it's worth, I personally believe that, in the spirit of American egalitarianism, when a woman acts in a brutish or even violent way as this woman clearly has, she has forfeited any social protections which are traditionally afforded to ladies. If society allows a certain percentage of itself to act with impunity, then no one can claim any sort of equality because the rest of society will have been denied the equal protection guaranteed by the XIVth Amendment, perhaps not in a legal way, but certainly in a social way. One cannot claim equality and deference in the same breath. :2

You're applying a logical argument to an illogical being. :2




Disclaimer: This is intended as a joke directed at the cigar distroying woman and not a stereotypical assessment of women in general.

[BloodSpite]

Ummm, was she hot?:D

Thats wrong man :r lol

[BC-Axeman]

Ummm, was she hot?:D
Somebody bred with her.:xxx

[chippewastud79]

Maybe Cali law is different from the rest of the state but you all should read the definition of assualt and battery. :r

:tpd:Assault is a lot more than most here are expecting. You can make physical contact with another person and its not assault, someone has to have some pretty serious injury for it to be assault. :rolleyes:

[landhoney]

Somebody bred with her.:xxx

Adoption?


:=:

[Subvet642]

I missed the part of this story where this woman made any sort of claim for either equality or deference.

That was simply in reference to statements made that there is no circumstance in which one may strike a woman. People have posted that it is never permissible to hit a woman, but that deference is never, ever given to men; a privilege based only on gender. In short, it was a general comment on societal custom.

[icehog3]

:tpd:Assault is a lot more than most here are expecting. You can make physical contact with another person and its not assault, someone has to have some pretty serious injury for it to be assault. :rolleyes:

In Illinois, assault means putting someone in reasonable fear of receiving a battery. No contacts needs to be made, and certainly no injury needs to occur. The definitions and semantics vary widely from state to state.

[icehog3]

That was simply in reference to statements made that there is no circumstance in which one may strike a woman. People have posted that it is never permissible to hit a woman, but that deference is never, ever given to men; a privilege based only on gender. In short, it was a general comment on societal custom.

I agree that there may be circumstances where is it both legal and proper to strike a woman. This scenario is certainly NOT one of them.

[chippewastud79]

In Illinois, assault means putting someone in reasonable fear of receiving a battery. No contacts needs to be made, and certainly no injury needs to occur. The definitions and semantics vary widely from state to state.

In Kentucky, you pretty much need to be bloodied for it to be assault. :sh

[icehog3]

In Kentucky, you pretty much need to be bloodied for it to be assault. :sh

Yup, the word "assault" means very different things from state to state. In Illinois, your example would be "battery".

In Illinois, there also is no "assault and battery", as when you have battered someone, you have moved past assault, and if you have simply assaulted someone, you could not have committed a battery (all by IL definitions).

[chenvt]

I agree that there may be circumstances where is it both legal and proper to strike a woman. This scenario is certainly NOT one of them.

Is spraying her with the hose assault?

[icehog3]

Is spraying her with the hose assault?

In Illionois that could range from battery (high end) to disorderly conduct (low end), but could not be assault by definition. Might be different in the OPs jurisdiction, though.

[chenvt]

In Illionois that could range from battery (high end) to disorderly conduct (low end), but could not be assault by definition. Might be different in the OPs jurisdiction, though.

what about a burning bag of poop on their front door?

[poker]

Im not a lawyer or in law enforcement so Im not going to even try to decipher the law as its written or enforced.

...and some of the comments in this thread just make me shake my head.

[icehog3]

what about a burning bag of poop on their front door?

:r

Disorderly conduct.....and a hoot to boot.

[BloodSpite]

In Kentucky, you pretty much need to be bloodied for it to be assault. :sh

Sounds like Georgia. At home you have to be on the ground bleeding and someone had to have seen it :)

[Devanmc]

what about a burning bag of poop on their front door?

:r :r :r

[chenvt]

:r

Disorderly conduct.....and a hoot to boot.

Not if you don't get caught :noon

[icehog3]

Sounds like Georgia. At home you have to be on the ground bleeding and someone had to have seen it :)

Sounds like most of these states define "assault" as Illinois defines "battery". Nobody said Illinois lawmakers were the sharpest knives in the drawer. ;)

[chenvt]

Not if you don't get caught :noon

I heard flowers don't like clorox.. I'm just sayin'....

[BloodSpite]

Sounds like most of these states define "assault" as Illinois defines "battery". Nobody said Illinois lawmakers were the sharpest knives in the drawer. ;)

Battery in Georgia, is that thing we stick in our truck to crank it :wnr

[Subvet642]

I agree that there may be circumstances where is it both legal and proper to strike a woman. This scenario is certainly NOT one of them.

I suppose that would depend upon whether this woman is guilty of assualt and/or battery; one does have the right to defend themself, and, if she was continuing to yell and scream at him after initial contact, then an argument could be made...

At any rate, it's now an issue for the law to deal with.

:bdh

[Ahbroody]

I agree that there may be circumstances where is it both legal and proper to strike a woman. This scenario is certainly NOT one of them.

Thanks Tom this was the point of my whole post.
Well that and pulling a cigar from someones mouth likely resulted in no actual physical contact to the OP. While you may have a trespass to and destruction of private property's. No court in this state or most will find a battery has occurred. If I responded to the call I would be hooking the tough guys who punched a women or worse over a 10 dollar cigar. Even if there was an unwanted touching you would have a impossible time explaining how punch a woman in the face or using an force that inflicted injury was required.

Again come on boys, its a 10 dollar cigar and a miserable women with her kids. :r

[Zens7s]

Yup, the word "assault" means very different things from state to state. In Illinois, your example would be "battery".

In Illinois, there also is no "assault and battery", as when you have battered someone, you have moved past assault, and if you have simply assaulted someone, you could not have committed a battery (all by IL definitions).

I am pretty confident that my dating life can be defined as "Assault and Flattery".

[Whee]

In Illinois, assault means putting someone in reasonable fear of receiving a battery. No contacts needs to be made, and certainly no injury needs to occur. The definitions and semantics vary widely from state to state.

Damn those Duracells!! Damn them all to hell!!!





:rolleyes:

[croatan]

Sounds like most of these states define "assault" as Illinois defines "battery". Nobody said Illinois lawmakers were the sharpest knives in the drawer. ;)

Texas defines both very similarly to Illinois--and, as far as I know, that's the majority view.

[kaisersozei]

I have been reading this thread so long I forgot, did this happen on a Monday?

:r

[Sauer Grapes]

Sounds like most of these states define "assault" as Illinois defines "battery". Nobody said Illinois lawmakers were the sharpest knives in the drawer. ;)

The common law definition, in pretty much every state is that assault is an action that causes apprehension of imminent physical contact of a harmful or offensive nature. Battery is contact of a harmful or offensive nature.

These aren't statutory (criminal) definitions, which will vary from state to state, but these are the accepted legal definitions. Also, there can be both assault and battery, or just one.

[T.G]

Damn those Duracells!! Damn them all to hell!!!





:rolleyes:

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/5349/pinkyherfingv4.jpg

Pinky says "Right on!"

[hscmit]

Damn you TG I was trying to find a "still going" ad

[Subvet642]

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/5349/pinkyherfingv4.jpg

Pinky says "Right on!"

It looks like Pinky is wearing thongs on those @ss shaped feet of his. :r

[Whee]

Call Homeland Security...this thread has been successfully hijacked.:r:noon:r

[BigCat]

The common law definition, in pretty much every state is that assault is an action that causes apprehension of imminent physical contact of a harmful or offensive nature. Battery is contact of a harmful or offensive nature.

These aren't statutory (criminal) definitions, which will vary from state to state, but these are the accepted legal definitions. Also, there can be both assault and battery, or just one.

I'm a little removed from 1st year criminal law at this point, but I don't think that's correct. As far as I recall, if there is a battery, the assault merges into it. Sort of like an attempted murder charge merges into the murder if you commit one. One does not get charged for both attempted murder and murder of the same person.

[SterlingCigarMan]

http://www.cigarmanandy.com/emoticons/jaw.gif

[Thammy]

That is insane. I do not know what I would do in that situation. I would be way too angry. The closest this has ever happened to me was a lady yelling at me for pipe smoking in front of starbucks (apparently your not allowed to smoke on their outside tables, which is the opposite in most places). She then went inside to complain to the store and they made me leave. A non smoking couple attempted to aid me, it didn't work but I liked their good intentions. But yeah, these situations are getting common.

[Ahbroody]

I'm a little removed from 1st year criminal law at this point, but I don't think that's correct. As far as I recall, if there is a battery, the assault merges into it. Sort of like an attempted murder charge merges into the murder if you commit one. One does not get charged for both attempted murder and murder of the same person.

Correct sir.

Which is why someone would need to show the cigar removal was a battery. This would fall on its face. Leaving you a property claim.

[CigarNut]

I am pretty confident that my dating life can be defined as "Assault and Flattery".Is that a good thing? :)

[nick2021]

sad to say, but this is the society we live in...

[Sauer Grapes]

I'm a little removed from 1st year criminal law at this point, but I don't think that's correct. As far as I recall, if there is a battery, the assault merges into it. Sort of like an attempted murder charge merges into the murder if you commit one. One does not get charged for both attempted murder and murder of the same person.

For criminal, you are correct, for common law torts, you can have both, which was what I was trying to say. Of course, when typing on my phone, I don't always format the best.

[thebiglebowski]

just read this thread and i'm totally shocked that someone would actually do this. i think the OP responded perfectly with the verbal attack, but turning the hose on her would've been the icing on the cake. although, if this woman was brazen enough to walk up and grab a cigar out of his mouth, i'd wager there might have been a real assault if she got sprayed...

i feel sorry for her kid.

[mhailey]

I am pretty confident that my dating life can be defined as "Assault and Flattery".

Not particularly in that order??

[Addiction]

Your a good man, that woulda ended differently had it been me.

[icehog3]

I am pretty confident that my dating life can be defined as "Assault and Flattery".

As opposed to pnoon's dating life before marriage, which was defined as "Assault by Flatulence".

Damn those Duracells!! Damn them all to hell!!!


:rolleyes:

Git yer stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!

[Conch Republican]

:r

[ahc4353]

As opposed to pnoon's dating life before marriage, which was defined as "Assault by Flatulence".



Git yer stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!

:r:r Now that's funny chit! :r:r (Pardon the punn :D)

[gijoey959]

:r :r :r

I can't even go to work without this thread growing a couple pages! I just finished catching my breath from these recent pages

[MajorCaptSilly]

I haven't read the entire thread but wanted to participate. Can someone please punch my card?


MCS

[BC-Axeman]

+1 for MCS

[BnBTobacco]

Here's what I would've done in that situation. After her lecture, with a maniac tone tell her "Your lecture only makes my Pen*s HARDER!" Then proceed by inviting her into your house. She's probably gonna start walking away and scare the crap out of her for a while.

The look on her face would have been priceless. Good one! :tu

What if she's not the type to just walk away though? You could get slapped in the face or worst yet, get a good kick in the balls. Some women are very protective of their children, probably why she did what she did.

[Jack Straw]

O.o leave for a few hours and the thread sprouts wings

She came up from behind-ish, so by the time I saw the b*ch, it was too late, I don't really like going to jail, so I just verbally assaulted her, and I found out she has been charged with tresspassing, and destruction of property, since the pulling the cigar out of my mouth would be hard to prove :r anyway, $15<permanent record + court fees + any other fees

It all equaled out, plus I just got birthday bombed by my own fiance :r my luck!
Why pay $10 to see a movie, when a thread like this can one minute send my blood pressure through the roof in anger, and then, with news like this, restore my faith that somehow, some way, mankind is not doomed after all. Bravo.

[docdoty]

What andrew said x2

[lbowles2]

I'd have farted violently in her mouth.

You my friend are my new hero!!! :banger :banger

[replicant_argent]

As opposed to pnoon's dating life before marriage, which was defined as "Assault by Flatulence".


There was a definition of flatulence way back in the Cretaceous Period?

[pnoon]

There was a definition of flatulence way back in the Cretaceous Period?

Tough crowd.
:tg
Posted via Mobile Device

[Ahbroody]

This thread is reminding me of herpes

[landhoney]

Here's what I would've done in that situation. After her lecture, with a maniac tone tell her "Your lecture only makes my Pen*s HARDER!" Then proceed by inviting her into your house. She's probably gonna start walking away and scare the crap out of her for a while.

This made me lol, had to let you know, been laughing at the thought for days. :r

[sikk50]

This thread is reminding me of herpes

That ****'ll come back with ya

[flybum62]

A friend and I were tailgating at Purdue fooatball game last year when some snooty woman came past us twice and gave us an ear full because we were smoking cigars, said that "they stink to much." My frined told he to f.off, off she ran and came back with her husband who was smoking a cigarette! Some people!!!!

[nick2021]

A friend and I were tailgating at Purdue fooatball game last year when some snooty woman came past us twice and gave us an ear full because we were smoking cigars, said that "they stink to much." My frined told he to f.off, off she ran and came back with her husband who was smoking a cigarette! Some people!!!!

lol what did the husband say?

[flybum62]

He just smiled apoligized and a grabed his wife by the arm and started chewing her out. He came back and broght us a couple of beers. He sat down and talked for about a 1/2 hr. Actually, a pretty nice guy.

[gijoey959]

This thread is reminding me of herpes

+1 :r

[Bill86]

He just smiled apoligized and a grabed his wife by the arm and started chewing her out. He came back and broght us a couple of beers. He sat down and talked for about a 1/2 hr. Actually, a pretty nice guy.

:tu

LOL about smoking cigarettes and not cigars. Come on......smoke is smoke you either like it or hate it. I've smoked both and I'd rather smell cigar smoke.

[joeobx]

He just smiled apoligized and a grabed his wife by the arm and started chewing her out. He came back and broght us a couple of beers. He sat down and talked for about a 1/2 hr. Actually, a pretty nice guy.

Bet he didn't get any for a while

[cmitch]

You shoulda kicked her in the balls.

[BnBTobacco]

A friend and I were tailgating at Purdue fooatball game last year when some snooty woman came past us twice and gave us an ear full because we were smoking cigars, said that "they stink to much." My frined told he to f.off, off she ran and came back with her husband who was smoking a cigarette! Some people!!!!

Probably, it was her way of letting out her feelings for her husband who is a smoker also. You served as the outlet.

[chand]

What is with the thread necrophilia around here lately!

[TBone]

I'm in jail...She's in the hospital with a broke nose and a bill for $15 for a replacement stick...

[sjnovakovich]

I'd have turned the hose one her.

[Stephen]

Daaang, there's some people with some anger issues in here. Would I have been pissed? You betcha. Would I strike somebody over $20? Last time I checked, I wasn't 15 years old...:2

[Ahbroody]

This thread is reminding me of herpes

Just like herpes. It sucks and its back again.

[justonemorestick]

I think WTF is wrong with people? is that some people dont know when to quit digging up the past.

[loki]

can someone lock this cluster****?

[pnoon]

can someone lock this cluster****?

Works for me.