Getting old just plain sucks!

[Blueface]

I am just NOT getting use to wet pants after every trip.

I think I will go outside, have a smoke and dry up a bit.

I bet only the older gents on this board can relate.:r:r:r

[markem]

Let's just hope that they are wet in the front and not in the back Carlos. No amount of drying out will help with wet in the back.

or so I'm told

[Blueface]

Let's just hope that they are wet in the front and not in the back Carlos. No amount of drying out will help with wet in the back.

or so I'm told

Crap!!!
Pun intended.

I didn't even stop to consider it could also go that way eventually.
Now I am really depressed.

[68TriShield]

I carry a bottle.

[Blindjimme]

Go in the backyard with your pants down around your ankles. It may cause other problems, but no more wet pants. :r

[markem]

I carry a bottle.

in a paper bag
with a screw top
full of ripple

:D

[CasaDooley]

Look on the bright side Carlos. By the time we reach 55 we get discounts!:r

[BlackDog]

I bet only the older gents on this board can relate.:r:r:r
That DEPENDS. Is Bob Dole a member here? :r

[Ashcan Bill]

Have you thought about sewing beads in your pants? :r :r :r

[Blueface]

I carry a bottle.

DEPENDS

Have you thought about sewing beads in your pants? :r :r :r

Great ideas.

However, best idea ever is why they have blowers in men's rooms so strategically placed.
Ever notice some are low?
Wonder why they don't really work well for your hands?
Really designed and installed by an "old man".
Really designed for your pants.:r

[The Poet]

Hey, if I remember correctly, young men walk around with wet pants too . . . albeit for a different reason. :D

[hotreds]

I used to love khakis!

[Smokin Gator]

Shake, wait, shake, wait, shake, wait..... wiggle, shake, wait seems to work for me. YMMV!!!

[Old Sailor]

Ya mean you don't wring it out? :r:r

[Blueface]

Shake, wait, shake, wait, shake, wait..... wiggle, shake, wait seems to work for me. YMMV!!!

Ya mean you don't wring it out? :r:r

I have tried shake it, wait, shake it, wait, read a book, shake it, wax on and wax off, shake it, and regardless, there is always some there waiting for my pants.

[markem]

I have tried shake it, wait, shake it, wait, read a book, shake it, wax on and wax off, shake it, and regardless, there is always some there waiting for my pants.

http://www.dickblick.com/products/miracle-sponges/

[markem]

I have no idea how google found this for me, but I can't stop laughing. It's microwavable!

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51%2BtrKQqqZL._SL500_AA300_PIbundle-6,TopRight,0,0_AA300_SH20_.jpg

[Blueface]

http://www.dickblick.com/products/miracle-sponges/

:r

I can just picture dropping one of those in my pants.
Starts out flat, ends up as a big, deserving of envy bulge.:r

[Blueface]

Isn't this topic a real pisser?:r

[markem]

Isn't this topic a real pisser?:r

It just keeps going and going ....

[Blueface]

It just keeps going and going ....

I think I will now go read: "Yellow River" by I. P. Daily.

[hotreds]

I prefer Rusty Bedsprings by I.P. Knightly. Bouncier plot.

[JaKaacH]

Makes you want to sing the Blues...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO6AY8lURig

http://gapersblock.com/transmission/01_Buddy_Guy_%2301.jpg

The original by: Junior Kimbrough

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSWTkI_aVSo&feature=related

[cort]

Sucks for you old dudes:r

[papichulo]

I had to get a new drivers license and the lady asked me what color hair and I said brown. She looked up and said maybe ten years ago. :confused: I am only in my early forties. :o

[markem]

I had to get a new drivers license and the lady asked me what color hair and I said brown. She looked up and said maybe ten years ago. :confused: I am only in my early forties. :o

But you work with "difficult people" :tu

[icehog3]

Suck you old dudes:r

You're quite the sport, Gary. :tu

[Smokin Gator]

Sucks for you old dudes:r

I know most of us dribble kings are in bed at this point... but you will be there one day brother. I just hope you remember harassing us when the front of your pants are wet;)

[markem]

Sucks for you old dudes:r

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs8/i/2005/338/8/3/_kidsthesedays__by_Smidy.gif

[markem]

Somehow, I can imagine Carlos saying this

http://i778.photobucket.com/albums/yy65/amyjayne10/Funny%20Old%20People/maxine.gif

[icehog3]

http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa73/icehog3/geezer.jpg

[taltos]

A couple of things that seem to cure the dribble phenomenon employ the tourniquent principle. For most of us Irish and other lesser folks those velcro cord wraps seem to stem the flow by making it looser [during one of our late evening/early morning journeys] in order to release the liquid gold and then making it tighter to stop the dripping. For those who were blessed with more endowment, a hose clamp would seem to do the same thing, just don't forget a screwdriver. :pn

[icehog3]

When do we get a thread about sh!tting your pants, Carlos? :r

[n3uka]

Two thoughts.

Condoms - not just for sex :r

or

http://www.thefreshloaf.com/files/u1142/paper%20clip.png

[Lumpold]

http://living.oneindia.in/img/2008/09/adult-nappies-290908_29092008.jpg

This is what I'm imagining your solution will be.

[ABNMP619]

I went to the doctor the other day to have him look at a spot on my head where I am losing hair. He looks up and says "WOW, you are losing a lot of hair!" I said "HA, HA, very funny, I am only 36!" Walked out of their with a prescription for Rogaine. What the hell!

[icehog3]

At least you didn't piss yourself, Daryle. ;) :r

[Lumpold]

I went to the doctor the other day to have him look at a spot on my head where I am losing hair. He looks up and says "WOW, you are losing a lot of hair!" I said "HA, HA, very funny, I am only 36!" Walked out of their with a prescription for Rogaine. What the hell!

MPB can be an evil thing... one of my best friends shaves his head after he started going bald at 16. Man up, shave it all off!

[ABNMP619]

MPB can be an evil thing... one of my best friends shaves his head after he started going bald at 16. Man up, shave it all off!

You laugh about shaving it all off, but damn it...I sure am thinking about it. Plus the wife likes it too. Just wish I could have a damn goatee to go along with it though.

[357]

Did someone say shake-weight???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXHUdvvHTkw

[Blueface]

When do we get a thread about sh!tting your pants, Carlos? :r

:r

Darn close to that already.

[CigarNut]

When do we get a thread about sh!tting your pants, Carlos? :r

:r

Darn close to that already.I believe it was Jack Nicholson's character in The Bucket List who said "Never trust a fart"...

[markem]

I can see Carlos' new sig line: I'm too old to have these kind of problems

[Da Klugs]

Getting old is a state of mind.

Dealing with the physical changes that "maturity" brings in a manner so as to not "get old" is the challenge. :D

[shilala]

Getting old is a state of mind.

Dealing with the physical changes that "maturity" brings in a manner so as to not "get old" is the challenge. :D
I never imagined "maturity" would include bald, fat, pissed pants and occasional rewipes, but I'll take it. I've gotten used to it.
I did "young" for a long time. It was fun, but it was a *****. Painful and expensive, too.
I found a new nose and ear hair trimmer last week, and it works really great. I never imagined something like that could bring such joy. :D
I look forward to all this old guy stuff. It's new horizons. Places I've never been before. They have drugs for everything, and I'm gonna by stylin' in my Hoveround. :tu

[icehog3]

Feel free to post a link for the efficient nose-trimmer for us "mature" guys, Scott! :r

[markem]

Feel free to post a link for the efficient nose-trimmer for us "mature" guys, Scott! :r

http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/6289xxl.jpg

[icehog3]

http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/6289xxl.jpg

Trimmer, Mark, not vibrator. ;)

[Blueface]

I never imagined "maturity" would include bald, fat, pissed pants and occasional rewipes, but I'll take it. I've gotten used to it.
I did "young" for a long time. It was fun, but it was a *****. Painful and expensive, too.
I found a new nose and ear hair trimmer last week, and it works really great. I never imagined something like that could bring such joy. :D
I look forward to all this old guy stuff. It's new horizons. Places I've never been before. They have drugs for everything, and I'm gonna by stylin' in my Hoveround. :tu

:r

Nose trimmer only?
You mean you don't need tweezers yet for those "external" nasal hairs?:r
How about the ones in the ear? Wife trims those when I get a haircut.

[Blueface]

http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/6289xxl.jpg

Nice!:r

[Lumpold]

:r

Nose trimmer only?
You mean you don't need tweezers yet for those "external" nasal hairs?:r
How about the ones in the ear? Wife trims those when I get a haircut.

see, if you grow a proper moustache, the nose hairs just blend in...

[ahc4353]

When do we get a thread about sh!tting your pants, Carlos? :r

I thought he posted in the one Peter started. I'll go do a search. :tu. :D

[Skywalker]

So far no trouble with wetting my pants!!!

Knock on wood!!! Knock knock!
















Hey, will somebody answer the door???

[markem]

So far no trouble with wetting my pants!!!

I'm sorry to hear that. But if wetting your pants on demand works for you ... :r

[ABNMP619]

I never imagined "maturity" would include bald, fat, pissed pants and occasional rewipes, but I'll take it. I've gotten used to it.
I did "young" for a long time. It was fun, but it was a *****. Painful and expensive, too.
I found a new nose and ear hair trimmer last week, and it works really great. I never imagined something like that could bring such joy. :D
I look forward to all this old guy stuff. It's new horizons. Places I've never been before. They have drugs for everything, and I'm gonna by stylin' in my Hoveround. :tu


Scott,
Funny you post about the hair and nose trimmer. My dad asked me the other day what I needed out here in Afghanistan and believe it or not, out of all the crap I could of said, I told my dad "I can use a nose and hair trimmer." So I know your pain brother I know your pain. Plus being the damn Army after 17 years Active Duty you start to feel your body turn to light brittle after awhile. My lower back, shoulders, and knees hurt every damn day. Getting old sucks! :2

[Blueface]

There has got to be a bad gasket or something. Perhaps a bad shut off valve.
Seems since this thread started, more frequent than ever.:(

[DocLogic77]

3rd Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES. You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey look, Ernie peed his pants too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH. That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go

[ucla695]

I believe it was Jack Nicholson's character in The Bucket List who said "Never trust a fart"...

:r :r :r

[Da Klugs]

Then again... Getting Sucked - never gets old. :D

[shilala]

There has got to be a bad gasket or something. Perhaps a bad shut off valve.
Seems since this thread started, more frequent than ever.:(
You wanna make it really leak? Come up here and work outside in the winter. Three layers of thermals make the moistness seem natural. :D

[shilala]

Feel free to post a link for the efficient nose-trimmer for us "mature" guys, Scott! :r

Here we have the Holy Grail of nose hair trimmers. (http://www.walmart.com/ip/Philips-Norelco-Nose-Ear-Trimmer-NT9110/6043661)
Carlos, nobody plucks my hair. Ever. (I just shave my nose.)
I have hair over every square inch of my body except my forehead and that sunspot on the top of my head. I'm convinced I'm 1/2 to 3/4 Sasquatch. Lisa once suggested I shave something or get waxed or some such sh!t (and it wasn't my junk). I told her if she wanted a girl, go get a girl. :D
Since then, I've met her halfway and I bought a professional cordless clipper setup on ebay (my old clippers were junk). I use it to cut my hair and clipper every part of my pelt that I can reach. No one would ever notice I'm doing anything, but I do. She does, too. I wish I could find a set of clippers with a six inch wide blade. It'd save a lot of time.

[CigarNut]

...I wish I could find a set of clippers with a six inch wide blade. It'd save a lot of time.You would need to be real careful with that -- an ill-timed sneeze or hiccough could cause major damage :r

[icehog3]

Here we have the Holy Grail of nose hair trimmers. (http://www.walmart.com/ip/Philips-Norelco-Nose-Ear-Trimmer-NT9110/6043661)


Thanks Scott. :)

[icehog3]

I found a new nose and ear hair trimmer last week, and it works really great. I never imagined something like that could bring such joy. :D


It is the ultimate nose hair trimmer, my boogers come out clean as a whistle now. :tu

[Blueface]

It is the ultimate nose hair trimmer, my boogers come out clean as a whistle now. :tu

Piss, crap, boogers, nasal hair, ear hair....................gotta love this getting old stuff.:r

[markem]

Piss, crap, boogers, nasal hair, ear hair....................gotta love this getting old stuff.:r

http://fc00.deviantart.net/images3/i/2005/147/a/d/_oldman__by_Edme.gif http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs44/f/2009/145/e/3/Old_Man_by_turnip_stew.gif http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs43/f/2009/064/1/8/_youcrazykidsgetoffmylawn__by_xxfangirlkillerxx.gi f

[Da Klugs]

Did 50 push-ups this morning. Been working up (from 10) over the past few weeks. Feel .... younger.