View Full Version : Opening lines
Don posted an honest thread in the ladie's room about how to approach a woman, and had it
locked before I could respond, lol. And even though this thread could devolve into a
'joke' thread pretty easily, I would think it would be a much better use of our time if we helped
the corpa masculina ( I made that up to sound latin) by telling the lines that ACTUALLY worked
on women. I do not mind saying it, my best relationships with women have come to be through
humor. They didn't last long, mine never do. But they had INTENSE starts and as a hideous
man, I am lucky that I had such a hot streak in college. Cause it's sure over NOW. And I DID
DJ in a popular nightclub back then, so women wanted me and didn't quite know why.
Ahhhh. I hate being old.
ANYWAY, I got well into the lacey underbelly of a young co-ed who worked in the information
desk at the University of Southern Mississippi one semester by saying this"
"Excuse me, i am sorry to bother you, but this IS the information desk?"
"Yes."
"Can you tell me the circumference of the Earth?"
It was all horizontal from there. For 3 glorious weeks. Granted, I had to follow up with
good chat, a little weed and the best oral sex she ever had, but that's how it started.
shilala
06-24-2010, 03:01 PM
"You wanna fool around?" works pretty good.
awsmith4
06-24-2010, 03:13 PM
The one that always worked for me was..."Hey I'm Albert and you are?"
You may want to substitute your own name but hey do what ever you think will work
GKitty
06-24-2010, 03:20 PM
Hey, I'm Albert and you are....? :D
awsmith4
06-24-2010, 03:21 PM
Hey, I'm Albert and you are....? :D
Sister Smith how you doin? :D
icehog3
06-24-2010, 03:29 PM
It was all horizontal from there. For 3 glorious weeks. Granted, I had to follow up with
good chat, a little weed and the best oral sex she ever had, but that's how it started.
Now that is the way to a lady's heart, Brad! :r
MajorCaptSilly
06-24-2010, 03:41 PM
"Excuse me but I seem to have lost the keys for my vintage 1973 AMC Gremlin. Would you have time to help me find them? I'll let you drive it."
MCS
SSDVC
06-24-2010, 05:11 PM
Yo doll, I love your hair !
Lear31MX
06-24-2010, 05:21 PM
Nce shoes, want to ........(insert your own vernacular):tu
Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips!!!!
replicant_argent
06-24-2010, 06:32 PM
"Hey I'm Albert and you are?"
That might actually work better than Pete. Not that I would need to ever say such a thing, but being prepared is what it is all about.
icehog3
06-24-2010, 06:38 PM
"Excuse me but I seem to have lost the keys for my vintage 1973 AMC Gremlin. Would you have time to help me find them? I'll let you drive it."
MCS
"Sorry, I only drive Pacers".
-Some Random Chick
replicant_argent
06-24-2010, 06:54 PM
"Sorry, I only drive Pacers".
-Some Random Chick
Tom had a Cherry Vega is my guess.
icehog3
06-24-2010, 07:02 PM
Tom had a Cherry Vega is my guess.
I am not sure her name was Vega, Pete.
colinb913
06-24-2010, 07:17 PM
Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips!!!!
Whats the first?... HAHA :-P
Posted via Mobile Device
icehog3
06-24-2010, 07:23 PM
Whats the first?... HAHA :-P
Posted via Mobile Device
Puff a cigar.
colinb913
06-24-2010, 07:26 PM
Puff a cigar.
Oh. Just clarifying.
Posted via Mobile Device
icehog3
06-24-2010, 07:27 PM
Oh. Just clarifying.
Posted via Mobile Device
Oh, you're clarified. ;)
MiamiE
06-24-2010, 11:34 PM
Brad, in your case, I think the weed did it. :r
elderboy02
06-25-2010, 05:04 AM
Now that is the way to a lady's heart, Brad! :r
:r :tu
Blueface
06-25-2010, 05:42 AM
"Hey babe, what's your sign?
I'm feces.
My friends call me #2.
I am sorry.
That was very forward of me.
I am very drunk.
For all I know you are are freaking ugly."
Love that line from comedian Bob Nelson. Classic!
"Excuse me but I seem to have lost the keys for my vintage 1973 AMC Gremlin. Would you have time to help me find them? I'll let you drive it."
MCSOh man I miss my Gremlin X in Metallic Forest Green with gold accents. I'd LOVE
to have that car today. It's the 66 Goat I REALLY miss, though.
Now that I have mentioned it and broken the ice taboo, "Wanna get HIGH?" used to REALLY
work back in the 80's and I hear it worked in the 70's too. I wouldn't know until 1979, however.
And now I can't inhale anything. :(
AD720
07-15-2010, 03:56 PM
You have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
replicant_argent
07-15-2010, 03:59 PM
You have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
Too many drunken boaters for that.
Starscream
07-15-2010, 04:12 PM
"Will you go to the Prom with me?" That's what worked for me a very long time ago. Haven't needed a pickup line since.;)
longknocker
07-15-2010, 04:21 PM
Nce shoes, want to ........(insert your own vernacular):tu
:r A Good Friend Of Mine Used That Line At Work After A Young Lady Presented With A New Boob Job And Was "Written Up"!:D
Jack1000
07-15-2010, 04:31 PM
"You know what would look good on you?....
...me."
Wolfgang
07-15-2010, 05:23 PM
Did you just fart?..............Because you blew me away.
macsauce13
07-15-2010, 05:31 PM
I have always gotten cute/sweet as opposed to hot/sexy so I have always tried to play it to my advantage.
"Hey, I know this is random and you don't know me, but I'd really like to know you." Insert appropriate emphasis on 'you' and I'm going to be honest, its a little corny, a lot embarrassing, but I haven't done too bad. ;)
markem
07-15-2010, 05:48 PM
My name is Inigo Montoya.
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
If they know the movie, you are so in. Great conversation starter.
MajorCaptSilly
07-15-2010, 06:10 PM
Two words: Flank Steak.
MCS
RightAJ
07-15-2010, 06:45 PM
http://dumpendebat.net/picture_library/scorpion-spear.png
GET OVER HERE!
aj
bigdix
07-15-2010, 07:02 PM
My buddy used the following at a bar one night....it worked! "So, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled...or fertilized?"
SaltyMcGee
07-15-2010, 07:21 PM
"You know what would look good on you?....
...me."
You stole my fav. :r
Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back.
I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away]
Ron Burgundy: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I WANNA BE ON YOU.
Wolfgang
07-15-2010, 07:22 PM
I like your dress, but it would look better on my floor.
I like your dress, but it would look better on my floor.
You had me worried for a moment, thought you were going to say it would look better on you!!!:r:r
Wolfgang
07-15-2010, 08:49 PM
HAHA! The thought of that worries me.
76GTFan
07-15-2010, 09:04 PM
Hey Angel drawers.
Tune in Tokyo.
if your really desperate, just go up to every woman and ask, "Hey wanna sleep with me?" The law of probability is about 3/100. :r
Hey Angel drawers.
Tune in Tokyo.
if your really desperate, just go up to every woman and ask, "Hey wanna sleep with me?" The law of probability is about 3/100. :r
But can you handle the 97/100 slaps??????
Wolfgang
07-16-2010, 07:55 AM
Life's a *****, because if it was a slut it would be easy.
landhoney
07-16-2010, 07:56 AM
But can you handle the 97/100 slaps??????
I think it depends on which three women say yes. ;):D
aich75013
07-27-2010, 01:46 PM
My buddy used the following at a bar one night....it worked! "So, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled...or fertilized?"
Is his name Dave?
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