YOUR favorite sayings......

[TripleF]

Don't know if there is a thread already in existance for this topic....but I thought I'd ask.....what's YOUR favorite saying? Or one of them? Or a couple of them?

What prompted this was utilizing my handy-dandy Swiss Army Knife to trim a few nose hairs, when I remembered one of my favorite sayings:



A man without a knife, is a man without a life!!

[massphatness]

Do not despair that the rosebush has thorns; rather rejoice that the thornbush has roses.

[jsnake]

That's what she said

[1badhog07]

say it aint so!

[BigAsh]

Hahaha....Just keep a steady hand with that knife Scott!.

[timo]

Life is short eat dessert first

[JaKaacH]

If you don't change today, tomorrow will be like yesterday...

[MedicCook]

This job blows.

[pnoon]

The glass is always half-full.

[MajorCaptSilly]

A bird in your front pants pocket is probably uncomfortable.

Soup is food.

Don't eat the yellow VW Beetle.

Crying is just like laughing except you're sad.

When the wolves come to your door, it's probably time to move somewhere where wolves don't come to your door.

An apple a day is good if you like apples.


MCS

[SmokeyJoe]

"...as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs."

"If this ain't true, then grits ain't groceries."

"That's about as useless as teets on a boar-hog."

(After somebody does something stupid...) "Well bless his heart!"

(You probably guessed I live in the South.) :D

[TripleF]

"If this ain't true, then grits ain't groceries."



ROFLMAO.......

dude, that's bout as crazy as a sprayed cockroach :r :r

[bvilchez]

WTF Over!?!?!
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[rizzle]

An answer to "what's up?"...nothing but the rent.

[skullnrose]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

It's like deja-vu, all over again.

[SmokeyJoe]

A line from the show "Cheers" that has stuck with me...

When responding to "Hey Joe... what's shaking?"

"All four cheeks and a couple of chins."

[Eleven]

Some of my favorites.

It takes a mighty big dog to weigh a ton

I'm cornfused

Awesome!

Why I oughta!

Thats no moon.

It's a trap!

This one time, at band camp...

[The Poet]

From others: Illegitimi non carborundum.

From me: Misogynists are made, not born.

[St. Lou Stu]

I had no idea sheep were that strong!
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[SNKBYT]

that dog won't hunt
kiss my ash
kiss my fuzzy white Irish azz
I don't give a rats azz
I am smiling:D

[BigFrank]

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they stink.

[Kreth]

"...as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs."
Well, dip my balls in buttermilk and squat me in a roomful of kittens.
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[CasaDooley]

Some of mine are;
No balls no blue chips
I'm all in
Fortune favors the bold
Whats shakin or Whats shakin bacon :r

[replicant_argent]

The glass is always half-full.

Peter gets short poured all the time.

[dccraft]

Things are more like today than they've ever been before.

[G G]

ROFLMAO.......

dude, that's bout as crazy as a sprayed cockroach :r :r
Grits are grocery's though.:tu

[Adriftpanda]

ead, mike
ead, mario

[mariogolbee]

ead, mike
ead, mario

This is ironic. I was about to post STFU Huy! So without further ado,
STFU Huy!:D

[wolfandwhisky]

If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.

[DPD6030]

Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6

Is the Bear Catholic?

Does the Pope poop in the woods.

[kugie]

Sweating Like a Whore in church!

[SNKBYT]

that dog won't hunt
kiss my ash
kiss my fuzzy white Irish azz
I don't give a rats azz
I am smiling:D

why is the rum gone
damn hodgie
you were serious about that
get off my lawn
yes that was a smile

[qwerty1500]

"That's about as useless as teets on a boar-hog."[/I]

I use that one a lot ... all the city folk just look at me.

When everyone is gossiping about someone, I like to say ... "Good thing I'm normal." They get the message pretty quick.

[JaKaacH]

I don't give'em hell, I just tell the truth and they think its hell!!
Harry S. Truman.:banger

[kgraybill]

There is no "I" in team but there are 3 "U"s in shut the **** up!

[icehog3]

We sleep safe in our beds at night because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.

[G G]

yes that was a smile
Kinda hard to tell with the two of us huh Alex.:r

[brigey57]

A fool and his money are soon parted, Well then how did the fool get the money in the first place?:confused::r

[Volusianator]

There's no "I" in team, but there's three "U's" in shut the fu@k up!

[jaydub13]

Said by Aaron(lostark) at the last S.H.I.T. herf: "When in doubt, whip it out"

That went over like a fart in church

[Mugen910]

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

This lady's got some nice ones I use often. Linky (http://blog.cleveland.com/pdextra/2007/09/regina_bretts_45_life_lessons.html).

[MichaelJ]

Does Howdy Doody have wooden balls?

[Subvet642]

From Yogi Berra:
Yogi's math teacher--"Don't you know anything?"
Yogi--"I don't even suspect anything!"

On a serious note: "People are the architects of their own misery."

AND

"A person is only as happy as they make up their mind to be"

And finally, from Squadron Weapons Dept, Subron 14 (1984):
(Torpedoes should always be loaded for launch and not stowage, because...)
"If your guns ain't loaded, you'll get your azz shot off!"

[alwayslit]

in for a penny, in for a pound

[TripleF]

There's no "I" in TEAM, but there is an "ME" :D


I'm busier than a one-legged man in a fanny kickin' contest.

Women.......Can't live with 'em, can't shot 'em.

[SNKBYT]

I have come here to smoke cigars and chew bubble gum ..... and I'm all outta bubble gum

[Diesel Kinevel]

Hang tough.

-Z

[icehog3]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

[Kreth]

If you were any more full of sh!t it would say Depends on your forehead.
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[Blueface]

Found it on a stall one day.......

Some people come here to sit and think
I come here to chit and stink.

[RevSmoke]

That went over like a fart in church

I like that one too.

Here's another: First the setting, Hellboy finds out Abe (fishgill guy) is in love with the Elf princess, and offers him a beer. Abe says, "No, I can't, my body's a temple."

Hellboy responds, "No, it's an amusement park. Have a beer."

That's just great, I love it.

[Blindjimme]

I've got a great memory, it's just not very long.

[JaKaacH]

Don't gripe about getting a haircut when you hang out at the barber shop.

[jjirons69]

Damn Skippy
O yeah!
Full as a tick
Like a turd in a punchbowl
Dumb as a box of rocks
F*cked up as a can of worms

[Mugen910]

I like that one too.

Here's another: First the setting, Hellboy finds out Abe (fishgill guy) is in love with the Elf princess, and offers him a beer. Abe says, "No, I can't, my body's a temple."

Hellboy responds, "No, it's an amusement park. Have a beer."

That's just great, I love it.
:tu I love that part.
Posted via Mobile Device

[SmokeyJoe]

One that my Father-In-Law uses ...

"You can't polish a turd."

[Dark Jester]

Fairness is an illusion we do not provide here. :)

[Dark Jester]

One that my Father-In-Law uses ...

"You can't polish a turd."

Mythbusters actually proved that you can. ;)

[Starscream]

It is what it is.

[SmokeyJoe]

One that my Father-In-Law uses ...

"You can't polish a turd."

Mythbusters actually proved that you can. ;)

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I started to say, "I would like to see that," but upon reflection? Naw. :D

[icehog3]

It is what it is.

Ironic...that's one of my least favorite, Andy. ;)

[SNKBYT]

old guys rule

[icehog3]

old guys rule

Getting old ain't for sissies. :r

[SNKBYT]

Getting old ain't for sissies. :r

yeah that one too :r

[Kreth]

old guys rule
Get off my lawn!

:r
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[JaKaacH]

STAY THIRSTY, my friends

[IBQTEE1]

Your what hurts? I say this when I didn't hear what the person said.

Fabulous!! My favorite one word saying.

[MajorCaptSilly]

That wasn't my car.

Dogs are great for people who like dogs.

Cats are great for people who like cats.

Where did you get that pencil?

How 'bout some fries with that shake or another side item such as mozzerella sticks?

I was going to write in my notebook but then I didn't.

MCS

[Kreth]

Your what hurts? I say this when I didn't hear what the person said.
Ha! I say this to my golf buddies if they duff one. :r
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[T.G]

Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?

[icehog3]

Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining.

[T.G]

ead, mike
ead, mario

This is ironic. I was about to post STFU Huy! So without further ado,
STFU Huy!:D



I'm fairly convinced this is what really goes on between the three of you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_P1OhKUw6I&NR=1

[galaga]

Beat me, kick me;
Make me write bad checks.

[catfish2]

Aw Crap

[Mpython24]

"Don't be that guy."

[Apoco]

Accuracy by volume

[JaKaacH]

"Theres no replacement for displacement"

[bonjing]

"my butt itches" :r

[Subvet642]

"Off like a prom dress!"

[TripleF]

Man. that's crazier than a sprayed cockroach!

My favorite saying used to be:
I'm busier than a one-legged man in a fanny kickin' contest!! (not anymore)

[OLS]

Does Howdy Doody have wooden balls?

Actually that's "Does Howdy Doody GOT wooden balls?" Cheech line, lol.
Also, NO FAIR. Military MFs can't play. Their entire life is sayings as I recall.
There is something about drawing from all 50 states and territories and living in
$hi+ conditions that brings out the sayings. :)

Speaking of Cheech. When asked about an old girlfriend. "It didn't work out....Well
it worked out once, but we worked it back in."

[OLS]

"Oh well...THAT'S Cue-bah"

[pnoon]

Nice review.

[Mugen910]

Nice review.

:r:r

[IBQTEE1]

It's not golfin' unless you are swearin'.

[replicant_argent]

I have been using the phrase "off like a prom dress" a lot lately.
Does that mean my cross dressing tendancies are coming out, or my indiscretions as a young man are manifesting?

[14holestogie]

Said to my (male) golfing buddies when a putt is woefully short...

"nice putt, does your husband golf too?" :D

...sorry, ladies....;)

[rizzle]

f*cked up as a can of red wigglers
fify ;)

[Subvet642]

I have been using the phrase "off like a prom dress" a lot lately.
Does that mean my cross dressing tendancies are coming out, or my indiscretions as a young man are manifesting?

If they weren't before, they are now! :r

[Subvet642]

"Do you want me to run to the CVS and get you a f*ckin' lipstick, too?" :mh

[icehog3]

"my butt itches" :r

You owe me royalties, Greg. :r

[JaKaacH]

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

[cort]

F%ckin Eggs, Bacon.

[Goldie]

Who pissed in your Cheerios?

[Kreth]

Said to my (male) golfing buddies when a putt is woefully short...

"nice putt, does your husband golf too?" :D

...sorry, ladies....;)
:tpd:
or
"Hit it with your purse." :r
Posted via Mobile Device

[secretsquirrel]

Thats Higher than the balls on a giraffe!

[neoflex]

This saying seems to fit for so many different things. "Same Circus just different Clowns" We used this a lot when I was a fireman on Long Island.

[TripleF]

That's cooler than the other side of the pillow!!

[SmokeyJoe]

:tpd:
or
"Hit it with your purse." :r
Posted via Mobile Device

Sounds like my son's comments... he is merciless on the old man!

After a missed putt left short...

"What happened? Did your skirt fly up and distract you?"

or

"Don't worry... a little Midol will probably help those menstrual cramps."

Don't know where he learned to trash talk like that... must be from his mom. ;)

[Mugen910]

Not with that attitude you won't.

[SmokeyJoe]

Variation on Tom's quote:

"Don't piss in my boot and tell me it's raining."

[looking for know]

"Go fish."
"Close (or almost) counts when you play with horseshoes or handgranades."
"It might not look like it, but I'm crying on the inside."

[looking for know]

"Eat every carrot and pea on your plate."

[SNKBYT]

let me know how that works out for you

[Blueface]

........after a piss match...........
"Have a wonderful day".

[CigarDisciple]

"you look as nervous as a cat trying to cover up crap on a marble floor" :tu

[drill]

i gots a few ofem,

life aint no bowl of cherries

can i borrow a mirror i need to see if i look like i give a rats ass

sum*****

D minus dumb

aint drinkin fun

and my girlfriend mary likes to say
i was drunk you know it dont count when im drunk

k

[kelmac07]

"This is bullsh@t...smells like Cypress Hill concert in here!"

[Eagle53]

"I'd rather be lucky than good"

"I ain't often right but i'm never wrong"

"This is D-U-M dumb"

"Baby, you're pretty enough to make a good dog break its leash"

After something horrible or annoying happens to someone you say "It's ok to like it"

[yellowgoat]

you did what in the where?

and

whatever floats your boat.

[14holestogie]

I'd like to see it from your side, but I'm not sure both our heads will fit up your arse. :)

[JaKaacH]

Thats some funny ship right there...

[RevSmoke]

Don't question my sobriety when I'm drunk!

[NeuRon]

If you Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail

[jwfish81]

I'm out like a boner in sweatpants.

She's stroked more wood than a Furniture polisher.

You could tear up a crow bar in a sand pile.

A good sermon should be like a woman's shirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough the cover the essentials.

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

[T.G]

When I'm in the middle of working on something which should be obvious to just about anyone and someone walks up and asks: "What are you doing?" my usual response is "Fvcking a duck, you wanna give me a hand here and grab some feathers?" while displaying the most psychotic smile and look I can muster.

[jwfish81]

When I'm in the middle of working on something which should be obvious to just about anyone and someone walks up and asks: "What are you doing?" my usual response is "Fvcking a duck, you wanna give me a hand here and grab some feathers?" while displaying the most psychotic smile and look I can muster.


:r LMAO!

[shilala]

I use "busier than a cat covering chit on a hot tin roof" a lot.
At work, I've heard "looks like a lid off a can of f*ck" no less than a million times. It started with the sheet metal guys, and became the standard answer for pretty much everything. It still makes me smile.

[kugie]

"Go pound Sand"

One of my favorites

"Go Sh*t in your Hat"

[Montano]

That's about as useless as tits on a bull.

[pnoon]

Your order has been shipped. ;)
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[Subvet642]

When I'm in the middle of working on something which should be obvious to just about anyone and someone walks up and asks: "What are you doing?" my usual response is "Fvcking a duck, you wanna give me a hand here and grab some feathers?" while displaying the most psychotic smile and look I can muster.

I almost p!ssed myself laughing! :r:r:r

[Brian D.]

"If you don't like the music go talk to the organ grinder, not the f***in' monkey!" (That's some of the best advice I've ever been given.)

"She's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road."

[kenstogie]

You can paint a garbage can platinum but it's still a garbage can.

You've were given two ears and one mouth. Use them in that ratio.

[BradNC]

You can roll a turd in powdered sugar but it still ain't no jelly doughnut!

[coastietech]

I've lived most of my adult life by this quote...

Had the price of looking been blindness, I would have looked.
-Ralph Ellison

[TripleF]

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke, Irish philosopher

[joeobx]

We sleep safe in our beds at night because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.

:banger

[joeobx]

From the first forman I worked for: if it was easy they'd pay monkeys to do it

[wolfandwhisky]

I've lived most of my adult life by this quote...

Had the price of looking been blindness, I would have looked.
-Ralph Ellison

Great quote Joe.