How long would your cigars last during a zombie apocalypse?

[Tripp]

If the zombie apocalypse happened today, how long until you run out of cigars?

For me, if the humi came with me, and I couldn't restock, I'd probably last around 4 months at 3-5 smokes a day.

What about you?

[loki]

not long enough....need to stock up on ammo and cigars

[sodomanaz]

Would the smoke attract the zombies? Would the glow of the lit cigar give away your location? Where exactly are we hiding out? Is it well ventilated?

[theonlybear4CORT]

I would leave my cigars where they are in a zombie apocalypse,no time to smoke a cigar when you have to cover your own @$$!

[Tripp]

I would leave my cigars where they are in a zombie apocalypse,no time to smoke a cigar when you have to cover your own @$$!

No reason to cover your @$$ if you don't have cigars!

[loki]

I would leave my cigars where they are in a zombie apocalypse,no time to smoke a cigar when you have to cover your own @$$!

thats why you bug in

[tmoney2007]

We've already had this discussion at my local B&M. We are going to hole up in the shop. We will smoke till we die.

If I couldn't make it, I'd be fine for a while. The best ones would go first though.

[MTBAlex]

It would take me a very long time forme cause my xikar lighter would run out of butane in 5 min. And I would be sad cause I don't have another light.

Are these the brain eating zombies? Or are they more like beetlejuice? Cause beetlejuice would likely enjoy a cigar and we can just smoke peacefully together.

[spectrrr]

No reason to cover your @$$ if you don't have cigars!

:r:r:r:r

[spectrrr]

We've already had this discussion at my local B&M. We are going to hole up in the shop. We will smoke till we die...


Sounds like you would have a good reason to live :tu

[Ashcan Bill]

Considering how much ammo I've got, I'd probably run out of zombies before I ran out of cigars. :r

[CasaDooley]

Years.
Wait a minute, did you say zombie or zamboni? And why would I be afraid of a brain eating zamboni.:r

[icehog3]

Stupid sexy zombies. :mad:

[wolfandwhisky]

what if the zombies liked cigars, and you could toss cigars at them to slow them down if they are chasing you? like throwing raw meat to a angry junkyard dog?

how many bundles could you go through before you'd have to start throwing your more prized sticks?

[stearns]

Cause beetlejuice would likely enjoy a cigar and we can just smoke peacefully together.

:tu for beetlejuice

stearns

[Bax]

Wait, arent Nub's rolled on the thighs of virgin Zombies?

[jaydub13]

Excellent question.... In a zombie apocalypse, I could smoke wherever I damn well pleased, so I would be good for a lot less time than I would like, say, about a month at 2-4 a day. Therefore: on my way to a safe location, I would raid the local B&M. Sure it's risky, but what's the point of surviving in a world without anti-smoking laws if you can't enjoy it? My route would look something like: sporting goods store(load up on ammo), B&M(load up on the real essentials), and then head to the Costco(plenty of food and water, tall concrete walls, and locking steel doors). Then camp out, light up a stogie, and pick off zombies from the roof when I got bored.

[spectrrr]

Wait, arent Nub's rolled on the thighs of virgin Zombies?
:=: :=:

[spectrrr]

Considering how much ammo I've got, I'd probably run out of zombies before I ran out of cigars. :r
:tpd:

I think I would run out of cigars well before I ran out of ammo.... although there would probably still be plenty of zombies :(

c'mon, don't you fools read? Gotta stock up on the swords too! ..... although..... It would be A LOT harder to smoke a cigar while wielding a sword.... kinda spoils the fun :(

[Don Fernando]

If the zombie apocalypse happened today

I don't know what drugs you are on, but you might want to stop ;)

[captain53]

Funny Post - I got about 12-15 months worth of cigars and ammunition based on moderate Zombie attack and probably 6 months supply for the worst attack possible.:tf

[lightning9191]

not long enough....need to stock up on ammo and cigars

Anytime a package shows up of either I always use the excuse of a zombie apocalypse. My wife seems to handle it much better seeing me stocking up to protect her from the hellish onslaught of the undead. It works much better than saying "I haven't tried these yet."

[lightning9191]

what if the zombies liked cigars, and you could toss cigars at them to slow them down if they are chasing you? like throwing raw meat to a angry junkyard dog?

how many bundles could you go through before you'd have to start throwing your more prized sticks?

Unless the zombies are able to herf with me without eating my brains I'm not sharing my cigars with them. Plus you would just have a herd of mooching zombies following you around. Congratulations on becoming the Pied Piper of the zombie apocalypse.:r

[replicant_argent]

define the ratio of cigars:zombies:ammo: coffee : rum/day and we may be able to discuss this intelligently. All else is simple supposition.

[shilala]

define the ratio of cigars:zombies:ammo: coffee : rum/day and we may be able to discuss this intelligently. All else is simple supposition.
:tpd:
I will admit that I'm shamefully low on ammo, though. I'm thinking I'd only last a month or two if I was fending off a bpocalypse. An apocalypse, probably not more than a week or two, provided I shoot straight.

http://i288.photobucket.com/albums/ll193/davisbacon/may%2030/selection_165_69.jpg

[shilala]

I do have lots of coffee and cigars. If any of you guys have extra ammo, cmon over and hang. You should probably call first. And wear something sexy. You'll have a lot better chance of getting through the bullets.

[KenyanSandBoa]

Would the smoke attract the zombies? Would the glow of the lit cigar give away your location? Where exactly are we hiding out? Is it well ventilated?

:r:r All valid questions...

If there was a zombie apocalypse I would probably want to go out Hollywood style and be buring a cigar at all times while I raise hell on the undead. I'm thinking I could a couple of months out my humis at that rate. :D

[n3uka]

Nothing like a good after brain cigar :banger

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2218/1681472311_a2697b2486.jpg?v=0

[GreekGodX]

Now would the zombies reach Cuba? First sign of zombie attack I'm heading to Cuba and taking over the cigar factories. That way no worries about cigars or rum :) Then I'd take a huge Yacht to the middle of the Atlantic and just chill until you guys handled the zombies.

[elderboy02]

Considering how much ammo I've got, I'd probably run out of zombies before I ran out of cigars. :r

:tpd:

[Emjaysmash]

Lol, I think Id probably last 2 months with my stock now.

[spectrrr]

I don't know what drugs you are on, but you might want to stop ;)

Well now that you mention it.....

5 scientific reasons zombie apocalypse could actually happen (http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html)

Who says it's all idle theory?

Time to stock up on the ammo and cigars :tu

[KenyanSandBoa]

This tread is killing me.

I love the fact that the topic of "Zombie Apocalypse" is the most stimulating discussion I've had all day. :r

[Jack Straw]

At the current smoking rate, probably a year and a half. Pipe tobacco, on the other hand, about 10. :D

[Coz77]

Are these the brain eating zombies? Or are they more like beetlejuice? Cause beetlejuice would likely enjoy a cigar and we can just smoke peacefully together.

[quote=stearns;835359]:tu for beetlejuice

Which beetlejuice are we talking about here :confused:...cause from the looks of it Beetlejuice from the Stern show would probably eat your cigar before he ate your brains...Take a look at that poor Ashton.


http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/urbanretro/urbanretro3/Beetlejuice.jpg or http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/41/Beetlejuice_onstage.jpg/409px-Beetlejuice_onstage.jpg

[kenstogie]

beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice.

[wolfandwhisky]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/41/Beetlejuice_onstage.jpg/409px-Beetlejuice_onstage.jpg

Sat next to him on a flight to NY... he was with a guy who looked like Anthony Bourdain.

He struck me as a cranky guy. Would throw bundle sticks at him, for sure.

[Skywalker]

The BABOTL have it all planned out!!!

Our cigars would last at least a week, after that we smoke Arganese, Ratters is supply artillery and ammo, Greg's bringing the wine, Bob's got the CCs covered, and we are taking over Sierra Nevada Brewery!!!:tu

Hell, that already sound's like one of our Herfs!!!:r

[alwayslit]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnrizaO-X00.....take care of business. Have a relaxing smoke after.

[brigey57]

It's all in theory mind you, but not long enough. If an apocalypse zombie attack would occur today, I'd be lighting and torching the zombies so they could track the smoke to the very crisp dead zombies!! Then I would smoke for about six months and then I'd have to track out some new smokes...ha, ha, ha, ha!!!
:wo
Would the smoke attract the zombies? Would the glow of the lit cigar give away your location? Where exactly are we hiding out? Is it well ventilated?

[jsnake]

Well the way I see it I will need to load up on cigars and ammo and band together with some gun wielding BOTL. I think on my stash alone I could go about 100 days smoking 2 to 3 a day.

[McSmokey]

Not long enough!!! :tu

[loki]

i just looked over my stash and to quote lord of war "your stock piles are dangerously depleted, you better order more from the factory"

[Scottw]

Smoking what I smoke now, I have about 3 years worth of sticks. Smoking 2-3 per day, I'm looking at 7-8 months

[guado]

Assuming I stay home, zombies run out before the ammo does(very good chance of this :) ) I can last 5 years. Which reminds me. I need to stock up on butane!!!

Now if I can just convince the wife that a Barrett .50cal rifle is needed incase of zombie emergencies I Would be set.

[yellowgoat]

A few days. :r

I have a couple boxes in my humi, but I like going to the cigar shops and buying a hand full the best.

If I survive the trip to a shop, I'll just board my self up in there until I die. ;)

[Volt]

Based on current stock.... maybe 6 months at 1 a day..... I'd have to ration myself. On the other hand, If I smoked Philly grapes and peach - would that drive them off?

[wolfandwhisky]

Assuming I stay home, zombies run out before the ammo does(very good chance of this :) ) I can last 5 years. Which reminds me. I need to stock up on butane!!!

Now if I can just convince the wife that a Barrett .50cal rifle is needed incase of zombie emergencies I Would be set.

Rock one of these from an upstairs window and you'd be able to enjoy all 5 years of smokes!

Maybe you should show her the article linked earlier that explains why zombies are plausible...

[spectrrr]

Smoking what I smoke now, I have about 3 years worth of sticks. Smoking 2-3 per day, I'm looking at 7-8 months

thats right about in line with me. 2-3 a day would only last me for 6 months. at the rate I do now... 5 years!

[spectrrr]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnrizaO-X00.....take care of business. Have a relaxing smoke after.

:dr:dr:dr:dr:dr

YES PLEASE!!!!! I WANT!!!!

[mmblz]

all depends on whether zombies like cigars or not...

[Dooge]

first, i'm not sure if i would be able to bring everything with me. I have a couple of travel humidors that are waterproof/damage resistant so they would last some time. Take the foam separators out and then i should be able to fit more in. Maybe one day i will pick up one of those 30 count travel humi's, that would probably fit everything i have right there. Smoking just one a night would last me for a few weeks. Then I'd have to burgle smoke shops and lounges.

Would the smoke attract the zombies? Would the glow of the lit cigar give away your location? Where exactly are we hiding out? Is it well ventilated?

As far as I can work out, they're not attracted to the smell of smoke. They do seem to have an acute sense of smell but are more attuned to the human flesh than anything else.

Its a tough thing to say what they are and are not attracted to.

Just remember folks, head for the high ground. Burn the stairs and bar the windows.

[replicant_argent]

all I have to do is carry Andys smokes... and run just slightly faster than he does.... Which shouldn't be a problem, right?

[kzm007]

People, this is why we not only need to cremate the dead, but seal the ashes in concrete...or re-use the ashes for road work. Or maybe Gurkha wrappers, whichever is easiest.

[wolfandwhisky]

:dr:dr:dr:dr

YES PLEASE!!!!! I WANT!!!!

:tpd: that thing is awesome!

[Dooge]

not to take it one step further but what is your bug out plan?

[loki]

not to take it one step further but what is your bug out plan?

i plan to bug in

[Dooge]

i'll be going to your house... you have guns. We can fasten something to the top of my mini cooper

[loki]

i'll be going to your house... you have guns. We can fasten something to the top of my mini cooper

guns, food, cigars, and once i have a house, a generator

[Dooge]

generators would attract them... i do know they go towards sound. solar paneling?

[Jbailey]

One a day? 2-3 years easy.

I highly suggest "The Zombie Survival Guide", great read. :tu

[Tripp]

generators would attract them... i do know they go towards sound. solar paneling?

I saw solar panels on sale at NewEgg this week for earth week.

[Dooge]

One a day? 2-3 years easy.

I highly suggest "The Zombie Survival Guide", great read. :tu

5 steps ahead of you, bud ;) I suggest to you "Day by Day Armageddon" by JL Bourne

[spectrrr]

not to take it one step further but what is your bug out plan?

Pack up the guns and cigars and head straight for my mom's house in OH. 1/2 mile driveway in the country with a clear view around, plus a generator built in :tu

[Dooge]

go solar panels, quieter ;)

[lightning9191]

I think it is terrific that this is the most popular thread right now! :r

[spectrrr]

I think it is terrific that this is the most popular thread right now! :r

What does that say about our society!!!!

[theonlybear4CORT]

All I know is expect the unexpected, the usual I will just hide out in (insert place here) and wait it out for me is out of the question. I would hunker down for a week let the gridlock and SHTF take care of the rest,then i would leave and go to arizona where the heat might rot the zombies faster.

[shilala]

What does that say about our society!!!!
That we dig cigars and shooting zombies?
That would be an awesome herf. Sit on the fence, swap some smokes and have some Playboy Bunnies (or Vinnie) carrying drinks and ammo. :banger

[Dooge]

you know, i like the way you think. Find a building with a water tower, saw down the stairs and have a rope ladder for ease of access. Calling signs and radios. 1.) cardio. 2.) Double tap.

[markem]

I've seen Sean of the Dead. I'm as prepared as anyone for the zombie invasion.

As to how long the sticks will last, well, that depends on if them zombies smoke. Never been known to deprive a BOTL of a nice smoke, even if he was a zombie.

[JE3146]

The biggest problem I have is all the people who told me they're heading to my house if the zombies invade...

Depending on how many make it there will depend on how long the stash lasts :D

As for guns and ammo.... I'm prepped ;)

[St. Lou Stu]

The biggest problem I have is all the people who told me they're heading to my house if the zombies invade...

Depending on how many make it there will depend on how long the stash lasts :D

As for guns and ammo.... I'm prepped ;)

Will trade 5.56 and 7.62x39 rounds for cigars!:tu

[spectrrr]

All I know is expect the unexpected, the usual I will just hide out in (insert place here) and wait it out for me is out of the question. I would hunker down for a week let the gridlock and SHTF take care of the rest,then i would leave and go to arizona where the heat might rot the zombies faster.

Or head north to the unpopulated regions of Canada. Wouldn't need much ammo, not enough people to worry about!

[Dooge]

they freeze in colder climates. Heading to resolute

[spectrrr]

That we dig cigars and shooting zombies?
That would be an awesome herf. Sit on the fence, swap some smokes and have some Playboy Bunnies (or Vinnie) carrying drinks and ammo. :banger

*bang*
"got one"
"nice shot, pass the wiskey"

[Darrell]

No reason to cover your @$$ if you don't have cigars!

Their are more important reasons for survival than cigars. :2

[loki]

Their are more important reasons for survival than cigars. :2

nope:=:

[Tripp]

Their are more important reasons for survival than cigars. :2

You must not be smoking Tats, because they're worth fighting for. :D

[Dooge]

+1

[spectrrr]

Darrell is a CC smoker... this conversation could get real ugly real fast....


So how about 'dem Zombies? :tg

[wolfandwhisky]

Maybe it would be best to set up a self-sustaining operation on some small island... you know, a place surrounded by water so that the zombies couldn't get there, and that you could grow fruits and veggies - maybe have some cattle - and keep guard of a non-zombified cigar roller.

Man the coast and you'd be fine.

[bvilchez]

A few months.....but I need to get more ammo for sure

[JE3146]

Maybe it would be best to set up a self-sustaining operation on some small island... you know, a place surrounded by water so that the zombies couldn't get there, and that you could grow fruits and veggies - maybe have some cattle - and keep guard of a non-zombified cigar roller.

Man the coast and you'd be fine.

That's assuming they swim.. :D

[Dooge]

Beat me to it, good friend.

in World War Z they're able to walk under water and i think in a couple of either romaro remakes or his canon movies, they were able to function under water. Granted, they would come out not so pleasant at the other end... even more freaky lookin'

[wolfandwhisky]

Beat me to it, good friend.

in World War Z they're able to walk under water and i think in a couple of either romaro remakes or his canon movies, they were able to function under water. Granted, they would come out not so pleasant at the other end... even more freaky lookin'

Maybe - but I still think Casa Fuente would be a good place to hunker down. :D

[spectrrr]

Sharks n fish might eat some of them on the way.. and they have to have a reason to walk into the water... if it's an island far enough out on the coast, it would kind of be **** luck for them to find it vs. keep walking across the ocean (at which point the depth pressure would get them)..... hell, if the island is far enough off the coast, depth pressure would get them either way before they could get to you!

[icehog3]

Sharks n fish might eat some of them on the way.. and they have to have a reason to walk into the water... if it's an island far enough out on the coast, it would kind of be **** luck for them to find it vs. keep walking across the ocean (at which point the depth pressure would get them)..... hell, if the island is far enough off the coast, depth pressure would get them either way before they could get to you!

Wouldn't there be zombie sharks then?

Oh, man...would we ever be ****ed! :r

[wolfandwhisky]

Wouldn't there be zombie sharks then?

Oh, man...would we ever be ****ed! :r

only if they had "laser beams" attached to their friggin foreheads! :r:r

http://www.superhonda.com/photopost/data/519/dr_evil_1.jpg

[Dooge]

zombie sharks..... hmmm. you may be onto something there. Better hope the Resident Evil writer doesn't read this board...

[icehog3]

zombie sharks..... hmmm. you may be onto something there. Better hope the Resident Evil writer doesn't read this board...

I will cross my rotting fingers that he does not. :r

[spectrrr]

zombie sharks..... hmmm. you may be onto something there. Better hope the Resident Evil writer doesn't read this board...

Resident Evil V: Atlantis

[Dooge]

i see what you did there!

Bit off topic, just posted about the Day by Day Armageddon sequel in the misc general discussion area

[spectrrr]

i see what you did there!

Bit off topic, just posted about the Day by Day Armageddon sequel in the misc general discussion area

RE is definitely one of my guilty pleasures, can't wait for RE IV later this year. :)

[Dooge]

oh, the same here... did you see Resident Evil: Degeneration?

[wolfandwhisky]

oh, the same here... did you see Resident Evil: Degeneration?

I understand the connection to the game, but the live action ones have been just fine as their own franchise... is the new one coming out animated or a continuation from Apocalypse?

[Dooge]

the new one is continuation from apocalypse. Degeneration was animated

[chris66]

One a day? 2-3 years easy.

I highly suggest "The Zombie Survival Guide", great read. :tu

Yes excellent book. I love the zombie genre'

You should check out Day by Day Armageddon. its written as a diary. very good read. Also Dying to Live is pretty good too.

[spectrrr]

oh, the same here... did you see Resident Evil: Degeneration?

mmmm no, missed that one! :bh I'll have to pick it up :tu

[Dooge]

good man, its worth it

[chris66]

i see what you did there!

Bit off topic, just posted about the Day by Day Armageddon sequel in the misc general discussion area

I have been waiting for that sequel for 3 years now. Do you have a link

Edit: I found your link in the other section. thanks for sharing it.

[bigpedunn]

If my humi survived 1 year worth of smokes!!!!!!!

[MTBAlex]

if the zombies are the walking dead, what are guns going to do? don't you have to chop them into little pieces?

[Tripp]

if the zombies are the walking dead, what are guns going to do? don't you have to chop them into little pieces?

"Destroy the brain!"

[yellowgoat]

if the zombies are the walking dead, what are guns going to do? don't you have to chop them into little pieces?

That only applies to Kandarian Demon possession. :)

[spectrrr]

destruction of the brain seems to be the common lore for killing them. Even though they don't really have higher brain functions, SOMETHING has to process visual and auditory cortex input and issue commands to walk, bite, devour, etc.

I think the EXCEPTION to that rule could be if the zombies were created with really advanced nanobots. Then the nano bots could be programed to function as a primitive AI mesh network, which would mean you really couldn't kill the things unless they were burned up with fire. Even knocking off the head would still leave a deaf and blind body trying to do -something-. In other words, we would be totally and unequivocally FUKED!

[icehog3]

In other words, we would be totally and unequivocally FUKED!

Not as badly as we will be when the Zombie Sharks learn to live on land. ;)

[spectrrr]

Not as badly as we will be when the Zombie Sharks learn to live on land. ;)

Evolution :tu

[Dooge]

cricket bat!!